We were asked to give talks yesterday at sacrament meeting (Crescent City Branch), but we were not given topics upon which to speak. It was a little bit of a challenge to think of something, but in my personal ramblings, I was prompted to look again at the story of Jonah. This was interesting because I was pursuing my personal demons and when prompted to read Jonah I thought that a bit odd ... until I started reading and pondering it.
It seems Jonah thought he could escape his call to preach to Ninevah by going to the other side of the continent via boat. It would be a physical impossibility if he wasn't there, right? But then the event with the storm happened and he was thrown off the ship, fully expecting to meet the God from whom he had tried to run away - face to face! Instead he is swallowed up by a big fish after much tossing in the seas. While in the fish's belly, he contemplates his situation and finally remembers he has made temple covenants through which he committed to do all he was asked to do to help the kingdom progress. He realizes that he no longer has the "right" to refuse to serve in any capacity. Once he recommits to do whatever is asked of him, he is spit out on dry land and goes on to teach the people of Ninevah (who, by the way, wholeheartedly accept the gospel).
An editorial comment is made that Jonah thought the Lord would not destroy Ninevah if he didn't go, so he did not see why he had to do it. The commentary makes the point that the Lord does carry out his promises, and he uses his servants to makes these promises known to his children. Without the warning, His children would never be accountable for their choices to obey or disobey.
As I was studying this, I realized this message was for me. As I have made covenants, I will be responsible for carrying them out. The Lord takes these covenants very seriously, more seriously than promises or good intentions. We, too, will be stuck in our fish's belly until we decide to keep the covenants we have made. So where is the free agency we are promised? We are, in fact, asked before we make our temple covenants, if we are doing them of our own free will or are we being coerced? Once we continue under the premise of free will, we relinquish the right to go back on our covenants, thus relinquishing "free agency" to choose otherwise. Of course, we can break our covenants, but not without promised consequences.
I shared this story at sacrament meeting by telling my experience with my knees and the covenant I made to not drink cola products. I am truly grateful to have a relationship with my Heavenly Father that allows for my continual improvement through covenant making. What an incredible thing it is to have this personal relationship with Him!
I was thinking of the blessing He gave us when Darius was diagnosed with the tumor. How grateful I was to share the newly found revelations with Alicia even though I was fearful that Darius would reject it. I was thinking about the covenant that I made in relation to that experience: "If He would tell me how to help Darius, I would give up refined sugar." This was a big step for me as sugar was my life! I have never really faced the reality of that covenant until I studied this passage again from Jonah. I was also surprised at how important it was to Heavenly Father that I give up cola products, or refined sugar. It helps me to understand that those substances must be holding me back from progressing, or He wouldn't care if I gave them up or not. I am sure I was inspired to give up the cola products. The inspiration came into my head directly in response to my plea to not have as much pain in my knees. The inspiration to take sugar out of my life was more a desparate plea based on the fact that it had to be something big to ask for something so important as my son's life. I was reminded that sugar was probably the biggest issue in my life at that time.
I am thinking that these trials have come upon me so that I would feel compelled to make the covenants I have made. Without the opposition, I would not have moved in that direction.
It is bothering me that I haven't made covenants that would help Dorian with his situation, but I am reminded that Dorian is the one in the deal-making seat with that one. Nor have I felt prompted to apply this covenant making process to my situation with Orion and his family. It appears that when it is time to make a covenant, the Lord will prompt me as to the nature of the covenant as well as the promise He will give. Where there is no current promise, there doesn't need to be a covenant. Apparently, we need to time to work out the particulars for a given covenant before we start on another one!
I need to bear my testimony on how amazing a process is revelation. I have read and taught the story of Jonah many times, but I have never had it unfolded to me as it was Saturday night. I felt as though I was sitting at the Master's feet showing me step by step how this applied in my life. I cannot not express the immensity of this experience, but I want to share that I do know He is listening, and somehow, He knows me and knows what I need. I can't comprehend how that can be, but I know it is true. I am grateful for the fullness of His love for me and His patience. I want to become the daughter I came to earth to learn to be, and I am frustrated at how stubborn and slow to learn I am, but somehow, He sticks with me and doesn't seem aggravated by my slowness. It is as if He is saying, "She'll get it eventually. Just give her a little more time." I hope I use my time wisely.
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