Turns Out, Life Really Is a Bowl of Cherries

I got off my daily schedule of writing for two reasons: first because it is difficult to cut away in the evening to do it as Roger likes me to spend that time with him, and secondly because this week has been too unbelievable.

Sunday was Mother's Day and while I kept to my program, I went a little crazy with the not-so-good carbs. Why? Just because I thought I deserved it. It was freakin' Mother's Day for crying out loud. By not-so-good carbs, I mean honey roasted peanuts (which used to be my go-to breakfast when I had to eat in the car), and a 4 oz box of Wheat Thins that had been taunting me for a couple of months. Never mind that they were a little stale. On the plus side, I did have bananas and then some cherries Darius got to share with me on Mother's Day. First of the season, and they were delicious. It was nice to spend the day with his family, but I missed being with the other boys and my mom who chose to spend the day with my half-brother.

Sunday night it is hard for us to go to bed knowing that we have to start our 4:40 in the morning routine again the next day, so I think we finally got to bed about 11:00 only to be awakened at midnight by my daughter-in-law, Alicia, saying the Darius was having a grand mal seizure again (again because it was a repeat of what happened 16 August 2007). I don't think we were all ever so frightened in our lives. The first time this happened, we didn't know what caused it: a stage 4 brain tumor the size of an avocado pit. When the seizure occurred this time our worst fears were realized: the tumor must have returned. He came out of the seizure as the EMT's were carrying him to the hospital, and they did a CAT scan there. While we were waiting for the results, his father gave him a blessing that said he would recover quickly and return to his previous activities. We all thought Roger had lost it this time. There was no way someone could recover from a returning cancer. We all knew that meant certain death.

When the doctor came in to say there was no evidence of a tumor redeveloping, I think it shocked me as much as the doctor telling me my son had 6 months to live the first time. Then my next thoughts were of how faithless I was. I was truly ashamed to not have trusted my Heavenly Father. We learned that recurring seizures are not unusual in those who have had them. In fact, he was "lucky" it had only occurred this many years later. The doctor the next day explained to them that the scar tissue has very tender nerve endings which can trigger seizures.

Anyway, I don't think any of us had had this traumatic an experience in a long time, and we were all a couple of days in recovering (and, in my case, repenting). I have continued to journal my eating to make sure I stay on track, but I haven't been blogging it (obviously). I actually had a couple of really low calorie days Monday and Tuesday, but I think I am getting back on track. Until today anyway. I was so tired this morning that after I finished my morning work, instead of having breakfast I took a nap, so breakfast wasn't until 3:00, and that's never a good thing. It's hard to cram 2500 calories into a short space of time.