I haven't been blogging lately as I decided to keep an online journal. I have been keeping up with that daily, but I consider that more of a personal record of my life. I have been all too aware of how public a blog is as I read many blogs each day. So I have decided to separate the public from the private.
That being said, what is the function of a blog then? I think it is like a letter to the editor page, a way for us to express our opinion. People are welcome to read it if they like, and those with whom it resonates will want to keep up with it. There are so many kindred spirits blogging, it is quite overwhelming to read them all. I kind of save them for when I have the time except for the more urgent ones like the ones my kids write.
I was excited to see that Jac and Orion were going to write a blog, but they have since decided to make it by invitation only, and of course, I was not invited even though I requested it. It is humiliating enough to have to beg, but then to be ignored is even more degrading. I guess if the Lord is trying to humble me, He isn't going to have to work too much harder at it. I think I'm there.
There are websites that teach us how to blog more effectively; who has time to read them when all we do is read blogs all day? And write them, of course...
So what is the function of my blog? Where am I trying to go with it? I am trying to look into the future to see where it can do the most good. We have been asked a lot lately about our successful weight loss. I guess people have kinda noticed since it is such a large amount, and we are keeping it off this time (Each of us has lost more than 100 pounds).
The living foods lifestyle has been a huge development in my life; it has been life-changing in many ways, good and bad.
Bad in that it is socially not acceptable to most of the people with whom we have associations. As one of my friends put it, "You are just so much of an extremist." It is labor intensive, but I have always prepared foods from scratch, so I wouldn't say this is any worse than that. For those used to buying prepared foods, this would be a hard adjustment.
When I learned about the living foods lifestyle in 1983, I discontinued it due to family pressures even though I was getting extreme benefits from it. When I say family pressures, that is a little unfair because it is really my reaction to those pressures which caused me to give it up. Dealing with my emotions is a very real aspect of this lifestyle because I no longer have my crutches to sustain me through difficult emotional crisis.
Would you say having to deal with emotions is a negative? On the surface it might seem to be, just as an drug addict or alcoholic would have to learn to cope. Certainly it is difficult, but I think most people who get through it are grateful to not have to be bound down like that. I don't believe we are aware of how we are substance abusing until the substance is taken away from us. When we find ourselves manipulating to try to get the substance, the realization comes that we just might have a problem.
As I tell people about the wonderful experiences we are having, I try to warn them about what they are about to encounter. But what a lovely road of discovery it is. I love the honesty it has taught me. I find myself acknowledging things to myself I never would have before, and with this comes the help from the Holy Ghost that I need to get through it. I am getting answers to prayers I never knew I had because I could never reach that level of honesty with myself. I am dealing with painful life situations in a different manner: I am allowing myself to be sad. Sadness is pain, and as an addict, I avoided pain at all costs. What a price I paid!
I have always believed that the morbidly obese have a few screws loose. It just doesn't make sense that a human being would be able to do that to themselves. Now I understand it is simply my coping mechanism. (I say simply, but there is very little simple about it.) As I see people who are morbidly obese, I know they are hurting, but they don't realize how much as they are trying to numb the pain. It's an aspirin for the headache thing: whatever is causing the headache is still there, but we don't feel it as the analgesic effect of the aspirin takes over. When the headache comes back, we take more aspirin.
I have learned that pain, any kind of pain, is not as bad as my mind tells me it is going to be. My brain actually has trained me to avoid it telling me it's going to hurt, and I don't want that! Actually, the pain is bad, but I find myself amazingly able to cope with it. I've been thinking about Joseph Smith had to have leg surgery and refused to drink the whisky offered to him by his physician. I've often wondered how he could stand to have them cut into his leg without any anesthesia. Now I think I understand that we can endure anything we have to. I remember when I was in labor with my babies, one of the ways I dealt with it (I was determined not to have any pain medication) was that I just let the pain ride over me. It worked then, but it never occurred to me to apply that same principle to other kinds of pain, especially emotional pain.
Actually, before beginning the living foods lifestyle, I don't think I ever dealt with very much emotional pain. I did not know how it would feel; I only knew I needed to avoid it. I can remember as a child knowing I did not want to feel it. So it has been an interesting journey for me as I learn to cope with real feelings that I should have learned how to deal with many years ago. I am actually enjoying this growing up phase of my life.
Weight loss is a great thing, and I am really grateful for it. But I am even more grateful for the fact that I can now meet the Master when my life is over more aware of conscious decisions I have made. I never want to go back to oblivion. When the scrolls of my life are laid open before me, I don't want any surprises!
