Just Give It to Me Straight...

Welcome to another edition of "If you write it, they will read it!" I didn't write yesterday as it was one of those totally overwhelming days. I'm still in this state today, but wanted to record some things before I forget them.

Yesterday, Roger and I decided to ask Dorian if he would like us to take Wyatt to raise due to a lot of problems he has been having with him. These are not behavior issues really, although the problems with behavior are significant. Apparently there are mental health issues at play, and he has spent 13 days at a mental health facility where no real answers have been found. Darius and Alicia have agreed to take Angelina, our other grandchild, Wyatt's sister. Apparently someone reported Dorian to DCF and investigators want the children out of his home.

I do not understand any of this. How does this happen to a family? to our family? I wish I could understand that part of it better. I have been praying and praying for help to understand, but understanding does not come. Fortunately though, we do receive revelation for the other aspects like what we need to do and how we should do it.

We are not sure what is going on. Everything is so strange with Roger's brother in Fort Lauderdale, and now this with Dorian, that it feels as though everything in our world is falling apart. There is still a strange sense of calm though. Normally I would be totally freaked out, and I am not. Neither is Roger, and that is even more unusual. I am positive that our dietary choices are helping us get through this, and I'm sure the Spirit knows this would have been a requirement for helping us do what needed to be done.

Angelina is with us this weekend also, but she is having a bit of a detox this morning as she adjusts to life without the processed food she is used to at school breakfast and lunch lines. I know it won't last long, but I feel badly for her. She loves all the fruits and vegetables; she ate a whole tomato for dinner last night along with celery sticks, carrot sticks, cucumber spears, sprouted wheat crackers, and sunflower seed dip. She was a very happy camper. Wyatt tolerates it, not loving it, but eating only it only to survive. They both had a great time using the different dinner components to make faces and animals on their plates. The crackers, broken in half, made great kitty and puppy dog ears. I should have taken a picture! I'll try to remember next time, and then I'll stick it in as an edit.

We had lemonade for breakfast, and I was going to fix Angelina a fruit salad, but she was feeling poorly. She has slept all day, and it is now after 1:00 in the afternoon. Wyatt and Roger went to the flea market as we have been doing a lot of cleaning out and have tons of stuff to get rid of. (Another benefit of eating only living foods is the desire to simplify your lifestyle getting the junk out of your life just like getting rid of the junk in your body. As the body clears the garbage out, so must the junk in your life and your mind.) He is not having detox to my knowledge, but he has been at the hospital for over a week. Maybe they have been giving them more natural foods as they know how sensitive most kids are to chemicals and such. I hope they can make the adjustment to our lifestyles.

I wanted to give a heads up to a post by Steve Pavlina, one of my favorite bloggers. He is doing a juice feast as I've previously blogged about, so I've been following his progress with interest. I wanted to document this post as it has a great part in it about comparing live fooders vs cooked fooders with being color blind. Here is the link, if you're interested.

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2008/11/juice-feasting-day-13/

By the way, day 14 has an interesting post about social activities WITHOUT food. This was equally inspiring for me as I have been thinking about this a lot. So much of our social lives revolve around food. As a member of a church that does not believe in drinking or socializing in the traditional ways, food activities are VERY important. It is hard to think of a church activitity that does NOT revolve around food. So, naturally, this has been on my mind a lot for Roger and I as a couple. Going out to dinner is not as enjoyable an activity as it has been previously. We have been thinking of other activities we enjoy. We have been married 36 years; it is hard to change old habits! We are enjoying our new found activities much more than we ever enjoyed eating out, especially since there was always a down side to the restaurant meals. We are still evolving in this respect, and now that our family dynamic is changing, I'm sure it will change even more!

Synchronicity

We just got done with our first week working solo. It has been a long time since we've done this. It was not without a few hiccups obviously, but Roger and I have always worked well together amazingly enough. Most people can't even figure out how we got married no less work together.

I wonder that myself sometimes. I think about how people get hooked up all the time. It really is quite an amazing phenomena if you put some thought into it. I know it has to be God that puts us together because most couples are very unlikely candidates when it comes to finding each other. Circumstances under which people meet are usually odd, and what are the odds that they would then be attracted to each other? It really is strange.

I've been reading about syncronicity lately. This is what a lot of people call "coincidences". I have never believed in them, but I do believe in syncronicity. I actually had to look that word up on wikipedia the first time I read it. I couldn't figure out what it meant from the context of what I was reading. Here is that website with the definition (just in case you were wondering):

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synchronicity

Now, to put that in my own words, synchronicity is when all the powers that be are working together for one cause. It is interesting that it cannot be caused by your actions (making it a consequence). For example, I have been thinking about yoga for about 6 months now, maybe longer. I have spent a lot of years being inactive and have lost alot of my agility. I was wondering if yoga might help me get some of that back. I was thinking of it kind of casually at first, and then about a week ago, I started thinking of it seriously. Last night I met a young woman who teaches yoga, and I expressed some of my concerns to her. She felt like yoga would really help me, and she gave me the phone number of a studio where I could find some good teachers.

A causal effect would have been me picking up a phone book or googling for a yoga studio and then finding one. Synchronicity is me "thinking" about it really hard and having someone come into my life that is able to resolve my concerns and give me some advice.

How is that not a coincidence? A coincidence would be considered related in some way. To quote wikipedia: "Events that happen which appear at first to be coincidence but are later found to be causally related are termed as 'incoincident'".

That this is a scientific phenomena is extremely fascinating to me. To believe it is scientific, one must acknowledge that there are other powers that be which are greater than we ourselves. I attended a goal setting class once where the teacher said if we write down our goals we are more likely to achieve them because there are folks beyond the veil wanting to help us accomplish the desires of our hearts.

If these postulates are correct, there really is no limit to what we can accomplish if we would but realize the potential to which we could aspire. The only limit to what we can do is US!

According to Lewis Carroll in Through the Looking Glass, "It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards". What if we could remember forwards?

Looking for the Little Miracles

I find it pretty amazing that when I make the attempt to write an entry, there is always something that comes out. On the other hand, when I contemplate making an entry, I can't think of a single worthwhile thing to say. I guess it goes back to the "If you build it, they will come theory". If I make the effort to write, things come out of my brain that I didn't even know were there.

That being said, I really can't think of anything. I had an interesting experience with my seminary lesson this morning. I normally know where the lesson is going to go. As I planned the lesson, I had a general idea. Every once in a while, it goes a completely different direction, and today was one of those days.

We were doing the lesson from Luke where Jesus teaches the parable of the rich man and the beggar named (coincidently his best friend's name) Lazarus. When teaching this, the discussion always comes up about rich versus poor, and how rich people have a harder time being righteous. I was trying to take it in a different direction based on how we are supposed to teach a principle of the gospel: in this case, the atonement. (We have this list that goes over the gospel principles in every scripture block from the gospels. We have a list of 12 gospel principles that we are supposed to teach including: Godhead, commandments, covenants, apostasy & restoration, etc.)

As I've looked at the list, I sometimes have a hard time envisioning how that particular block relates to the chosen principle. Usually when I think about it, I can figure it out. This was NOT one of those cases. What did a rich man going to hell, and a poor man going to heaven have to do with the atonement? In my notes I made for teaching the lesson I had that maybe the rich man could have chosen during his life to apply the atonement, and the poor man's burdens were surely lifted by his application of this.

Well, that's not what happened. The Spirit totally blew that out of the water. We ended up with a discussion of how the Atonement makes us all equal. We all have the opportunity to partake of it. We talked about how these students are being blessed by the gospel in their lives, and they all have family members who want nothing to do with it. Nonetheless, they are being given the opportunity even if they reject it. We all have ancestors who were not given the chance while alive for whom we are doing baptisms for the dead. The Atonement truly makes us equal when it is all said and done.

My point in bringing this up is how cool it is that the Spirit cares enough about what we are doing to speak up and tell us how it should go. We seem like such an unimportant group; why bother? It builds my testimony in how important each of Father's children are to Him.

I am grateful for the ways in which my calling helps me to grow. I never progress as much as I do when I am teaching. I am grateful to be a member of a church that requires a lay ministry. When I belonged to other churches with paid ministry, I never experienced this kind of growth. I know this is one of the marks of the true church on the earth today; no church with a paid ministry can be the Lord's Church. (As a side note, I like how Nephi defines "paid ministry"; he calls it "priestcraft". Seems a little harsh, does it? Think about it!)

What a Beautiful Earth We Have

There really is nothing much going on. I feel as though I should write so that I can get in the habit of it. There was a lesson in Relief Society yesterday on doing more regular record keeping. The point was made that although it may seem mundane to us, it may not be that way to others that read it after us.

There is so much talk these days about a crash. I think people are more frightened now than they were in 1999 just before the year changed over. There was a lot of talk then about everything failing, but it didn't happen. It does seem to be happening now. When Wall Street is affected, that is when we know we are in a little bit of a spot.

Now is the time when we can look back and wonder if we have done everything we could to be prepared. We think of all the warnings we had to not get into debt, but we thought surely we will have time to dig ourselves out before times get really bad.

I am wondering who it affects the worst. I think the really wealthy get the worst end of it. The poor just keep surviving as they have always done; things aren't really that different for them.

I'm not sure where I fit into that picture. How would I fare if there was no money to be had? Well, I wouldn't be able to pay car payments. I don't think that would bother me too awful much. If I was never able to leave my home, I don't think I'd be too bad off. Not as much fun, but then, you can't really say that. Without work, there would be more time to do the things we really want to do at home but don't have the time for.

Probably we would have to redefine "fun". We've gotten that way stretched out. Maybe we should look at it as enjoyment more than fun. There are a lot of things that are very enjoyable that might not have the label of fun.

Like sitting outside on a cool fall evening watching the sunset...
Walking through the garden discovering how many sweet potatoes are buried under the vines...
Taking a walk with your granddaughter as she points out all her friends - the beautiful flowers she likes so much...
Helping your grandson take pictures, even if they aren't of anything spectacular...
Like having your students tell you that was the best lesson ever...
Like having a graduated student call you to tell you she found the best job ever...
Like biting into a big, juicy tomato...
Rubbing each other's backs and feet...
Playing a rousing game of Canasta or Scrabble or Boggle...
Relaxing at the baseball park watching a grand slam from one of your favorite players...
Watching one of your loved ones eat something you've made and really enjoy it...
Knitting and watching the fabric grow on your needles...
Discovering a butterfly chrysalis...
Watching the waves and discovering a porpoise in the horizon...
Cutting open a perfect avocado...
Tasting the first fruit of the season (every season!)...
Starfish...
Rain falling softly...

As I think about it, the few things that disrupt our earthly utopia are such a small part of our world, I wonder why we give them so much credence. The earth is a wonderful place. Whatever the evil powers that be have planned, we will weather it somehow.

Ants

I put my blogspot on my homepage so I would remember to update it more often. Come to find out it is not the forgetting it that keeps me from posting - it is not having the time to put into it what I want. I have loads of pictures I want to upload right now, and because I don't have time, I put off updating. Seems kind of stupid in a way. The object is not necessarily to entertain anyone - the object is to keep a record of what is going on. Two week entries are not going to cut it.

Since my last entry a lot has happened. Some very negative things are in our lives right now, and we are having a hard time dealing with them on a superficial level, but not on an internal level; it is kind of weird.

Have you ever watched ants when you disrupt their hill? At first they scurry around like crazy doing whatever it is their job to do, but the next thing you know, they are doing what they usually do. Things get back to normal really quickly. They don't spend any time agonizing over the crisis.

I feel like an ant. I have to keep putting out fires. Some just keep burning, and don't seem extinguishable. Others can be resolved, and we just keep working until the next crisis. Like the ants, I don't seem to have the ability to keep the problems at bay. I do not seem able to "see it coming". Instead, I just sit there waiting for the next moron who wants to come along and smash my hill.

The economy is striking hard right now, and we are really trying to not spend our pennies. Coincidently, we have been on a rampage to clean up our "hill" and in so doing have found a lot of stuff we are selling and/or giving away. It feels good for the "hill" to not be so cluttered. Should the heel-grinding get really bad, we can more easily move a small amount of personal belongings.

(Can you tell I've been watching ants this afternoon. I just planted arugula, lettuce, and celery; a group of ants had the nerve to build a hill in an area I had been planning to plant in. No, I didn't smash their hill, but I did throw a little dirt on it as I planted my stuff next to it. Maybe we can live together cooperatively? In my experience, the odds of that are negligible, but I am forever the optomist.)

Because of the number of students who have elected not to pay tuition at Deseret Academy, we have been forced to reduce our staff to just Roger and me. We had hoped at one time that it would provide at least a part-time income for all of our children, but it doesn't appear possible right now. As we have tried to keep this "dream" alive, we have gone into debt. We were free and clear of all debt but a school loan just a couple of years ago, but now we find ourselves in pretty deep. I should have done this months ago when I was first prompted, but now I will have to suffer the consequences of not listening. Those consequences come in more ways than just financially because at least one of my children is very angry at us for doing this. I feel very lonely right now.

Of course, with just Roger and I taking on all of the responsibilities for our school, there is added work. There are times when I ask myself if it is worth it. I still don't know the answer.

Another challenge we are having is with my mentally challenged brother-in-law. He has been living in his mother's condiminium since her death 7 years ago. We have been getting phone calls and e-mails from the condo managers saying that he can no longer live there due to behavior problems he has been having. When we talk to Roger's dad and his brother, they assure us all is well. It has been very confusing. We finally arranged a trip there last weekend to see if we could clear up some things.

What a shock we had! The apartment is in horrible condition and is unlivable at present. It will probably cost us $20,000 to make the necessary repairs. Even then we may not be able to sell it because there is such a depressed market right now. We had to move Randy into an assisted living facility in Ft. Lauderdale, but he has left twice trying to return to the apartment. His case worker called to tell me they are moving him to another facility in the hopes he will be happier.

A big problem is that the neighbors are telling the authorities that we are stealing everything from Randy including his non-existent trust fund and "his" apartment. The APS case worker has told me they have lodged an abuse complaint against us, and we will be investigated. Isn't that lovely?

The odd thing about that is that Randy spent every cent his mother left him (which was about $17,000, we think) within a month after she passed away. She had planned on it taking care of him for a long time. Plus he took everything out of the safety deposit box which contained things he and Roger were supposed to share (not sell, mind you) and pawned them. We have no idea where the money went as he would not tell us. We assume he was conned as he has nothing to show at his home for it.

The apartment he has been living in is to be shared with his brother, Roger. Instead of being able to share in it, Roger has had to foot all of the bills for it, including a $300+ maintenance fee and untold "assessments". He also pays the light bill, and anything else that comes up. Some of these maintenance fees never made it to the bank apparently as the condominium association is also suing us for 1 1/2 years worth of unpaid fees. We supplied the attorney with our bank statements and cancelled checks, so that should not be a problem. They have actually put the condominium into foreclosure, I think. We may end up having to live in it ourselves before it is all over.

Like the ants, I feel completely powerless over the mightier powers that be. I feel oblivious to their power except for when they are stepping on me and trying to destroy what peace I try to make for myself. I just want to live simply and quietly, trying to take care of what responsibilities I percieve to be mine. How naive I am thinking I can just plop down in this particular garden bed!

Facebook

I know this is pretty random, but I really like Facebook. I have been thinking a lot about technology. Not even considering the advancements since I have been alive, I was talking to my grandson about the advancements that were made since HIS dad was born in 1973. Of particular interest to Wyatt were the video games. Remember pong? If you do, you are giving away your age. Atari was an incredibly primitive system compared to the video games of today, but you'd have thought my son had died and gone to heaven when we got our first system. I think he was about 10...

And video tapes. To say that video recordings are an improvement today would be a gross understatement. I think every one of them we ever had ended up in the garbage as the tape split one too many times. We even would take them apart and "splice" them with scotch tape, but that got pretty old after a while.

I also lived in the time of 8 track tapes which led to the cassette tape which had a pretty long run. I can remember being at my aunt's house one time, and she had a reel to reel player which was the forerunner of the 8 track tape. Talk about labor intensive. Of course, all the home movies were on reels as well, and that went well into my high school years and beyond.

Of course those were simpler days. I don't even know what was on television during the day because we NEVER watched daytime TV. I think they had game shows and soap operas, but we didn't watch it. If we were home, we were studying or playing outside or reading. Those are all three foreign concepts for children today. Most of the students in our school had no idea how to study when they came to us, and many of them are unable to read with any degree of proficiency when we get them. The math and communication skills of our nation's children are shockingly inadequate for ANY job, no less for the kinds of jobs needed to keep a country going.

Every presidential year, I think how sad it is that we are producing a nation full of citizens who don't know how to think. Of course, when one doesn't think, one is unable to reason. That can be very dangerous if the unthinking, unreasoning individual decides to cast his unthoughtful, unreasonable ballot. I wonder how the founding fathers would feel if they saw the campaign commercials being run that are directed totally at an American public who will not see through the propaganda.

Gee, I guess I found my soapbox. Facebook. I was going to tell you how much I like it. I have a few friends that have found their way to it. I had my account for awhile before I realized the advantages of it. I hope more of friends will too. The thing I like about it is that I can keep up with my friends without having to actually see them or even talk to them. It's as if they are publishing their own little newsletter for me to read each day. You know, like Christmas card newsletters. You know how we all love to catch up on what our friends are doing each year.

Of course, you might ask yourself why do I care what they are doing if I don't get to actually spend time with them. Well, that too is a sign of the times. Who has time to visit anymore?

Another thing I really like about it is that I can update my "status" each day, so it acts as a little journal entry. Since I am far too lazy to actually keep a journal, this works well for me.

I have even decided to use a myspace page to log my seminary lessons so that I will have a permanent record of what I taught when. Kinda late for that. I'd like to see what I would have written when I first started teaching a hundred years ago. I started it because one of my students has temporarily moved to Texas, and it will serve as a way for her to keep up with her lessons.

I also like facebook because I can update and catch up with my friends and family in my car on my mobile phone. I spend a lot of time in the car, so it helps me feel like I am making better use of this formally unproductive time. (Roger usually drives, and we go most places together.) We tried listening to talk CD's, but Roger and I don't like to listen to the same things. In fact, we don't listen to anything as Roger likes to spend time in the car talking. No fear, I can talk, listen, and facebook! I am a very good multi-tasker. One has to be these days. Computers may have made our work simpler, but now we have a lot more of it!

I remember when that first became a word: multi-tasker. It was when home computers started making it on the scene.

Home computers! Don't get me started. I had one of the first calculators ever produced by Texas Instruments in 1974 (I think). It was quite large by today's standards. Heck, I even have a calculator "application" on my cell phone. That first calculator was not solar or cordless; if you couldn't plug it in, you had to use the slide rule. Yes, I admit it: I went all the way through Chem I & II, Physics, Trig & Anal. Lit. Geometry with a slide rule. I couldn't use one of them now if my life depended on it. Can you even buy those things anymore? I remember all of the sine and cosines had to be in the appendix because that was the only way to do geometry back then.

And telephones have changed a tad as well... I remember when phone numbers began with an exchange; ours was "ludlow"; LU, I think. My aunt's was "jackson" JA. Area codes were only when you had to call out from yours, and our area codes covered much larger geographical areas, so that wasn't very often.

Our phones all had the curly cord thing which meant we didn't travel very far away from the phone while we were talking on it. It also meant we didn't talk all that long because we had to get stuff done that was farther away than where the phone could reach. We also had rotary dials. I bet most young people don't even know what that is!

We didn't have to wear seat belts in our cars because cars didn't have them. Of course, we didn't have express ways for local travel, so no one drove very fast anyway.

It really is shocking to think how many things have changed in the 50+ years I have been on this earth. One has to think that if things changed like this every 50 years, the cave man is not too hard to imagine. The fact is that civilization didn't change all the much technologically for thousands of years. I think the printing press was the invention that changed all that because once mankind could read, it opened up previously unavailable paths. So now the circle is complete: in the next generation will our leaders be readers? If not, they will close many paths leading to many wonderful opportunities. I don't want to think what our civilization will be like without readers.

Of course, if I can keep improving on my hermit-like existence, I won't know about it, right? All I will know is what I surround myself with: books, books, and more books with plenty of technology thrown in there to enhance the communication experience.

Do you know that plastics came into usage during my lifetime? But that's a discussion for another day...

committment

Good old Steve. I love his slant on things. Please visit Darius' blog to follow this thread as this is a good summary of it.

http://trunkybeat.blogspot.com/2008/09/you-might-be-raw-foodist-when.html

(While you're there, sign up for the feed. He's very insightful and fun to read. Of course, I might be prejudiced...)

I actually started sun gazing Saturday after I heard the lecturer, Ken Rohla (http://beyondrawfood.com/blog/), talk about it earlier that day. I actually believe one could be a breatharian, but it will have to wait until I am ready to give up my current addiction: delicious raw food.

RE: $5 a day - that is $150 a month; I believe if one were willing to garden and sprout a lot, that number could go down significantly. I am also trying to learn to eat wild plants more which cuts down on the work and money spent. There are a lot of raw fooders who are past the initial novelty phase that eat very simply and very cheaply.

Re: cost. Health insurance is very expensive these days, and we won't even talk about health care. Even with co-pays, people I know spend a small fortune. The re-investment of those dollars into a more healthful lifestyle would save more than money. Darius again, would have a thing or two to say about that since his last bout with cancer.

I don't keep track of what I spend, but I know that just not eating at fast food places and restaurants has saved me tons. I really don't enjoy going out anymore - to eat - that is. I love going out to other kinds of activities that I never did much when I was a SADist. Even going to raw food restaurants I think of more as an educational investment as I try to eat things I've never made or sometimes never even heard of.

For example, Saturday, at the lecture, I had a samosa. I'd never eaten any Indian food before so was not sure what to expect. Kasey, the chef at Present Moment, came out and showed me how to MAKE the coconut wrappers. They were tasty and definately a special event type food for me anyway.

I went to a seminary inservice meeting the other day, and our lesson was on becoming converted to the gospel through this conversation:

Do you get it?
Do you feel it?
Do you love it?
Are you willing to live it?

All of these steps must be followed before one can say they are converted. I strongly believe eating a more plant based and natural diet is part of the Word of Wisdom, and it is an important part of my testimony of the gospel. I know that sounds extreme to some, but I think if we truly get it (the gospel), our lifestyle choices must be examined to see if they are in sync with it. Feeling it, loving it, and actually being willing to do it follow right along.

I need to post a new pic of Roger than the one in the previous post...he's under the 250 pound mark! That is the smallest he has weighed in at least 30 years. He looks amazing! He is becoming a little vain, actually!!!!