Spirals

I'm not sure what's going on with these wide gaps between the paragraphs. Some html mumbo-jumbo, I'm sure.

I feel as though the cathartic emotional outbursts this week have been very helpful. I would like to think it was even a turning point for me.

I had to laugh as I type as I am thinking of a piece I heard Ellen Degeneres did on journaling. She said it was amazing how we record things when we think we have it all figured out. Of course, when we read it back months or years later, we realize that we had no clue at the time even though we think we had it all solved.

So maybe turning points are relative. We make little progresses that seem large at the time, but in relation to the whole process they are minor angle changes. Kind of like how a circle is made of thousands of straight lines. Actually I just drew one, and it turns out to be more of a spiral due to the impreciseness of my angles. This is definately how life is. Our angles of renewal are rarely precisely the same each time. Sometimes there are huge angles, and other times just little adjustments. Oh, but wouldn't Professor Johanson be proud!? (He was always making fun of my geometry skills.)

Geri, a good friend from Utah, is here visiting her sister this month, and we are trying to spend a little time together. Her life is crazy right now, and it is interesting that I had contact with her AFTER my little episode when I am more together. I think that I can be a strength to her. We have been through a lot of health teachings together, but she, like me, has failed in them most of the time. She has finally determined that there are 2 reasons for this which is she is working to resolve. First, she is doing the bioidentical hormone treatment thing that Suzanne Somers has made popular. We heard a little about this at Hippocrates as well. Secondly, she is getting some serious counseling to get at the root of why she is so self-destructive. I'm sure this will be most beneficial.

I have actually been thinking about counseling myself. I have always been opposed to it as I think there should be other ways to accomplish the same thing. I am still not convinced that there isn't. I think counseling is a shortcut to the old-fashioned crash and burn method. I never believe in getting other people to do things for me that I should be doing for myself. The exception to this is when getting someone else to do something will help them more than it does me. I would be hard pressed to think I was helping a psychologist more than myself, so I guess that doesn't fit the paradigm. Guess I'll stick to crash and burn.

The main principle behind that being of course, that one gets tired of getting burned, so one decides to stop crashing. One has to wonder how long it takes to get to that point. And, again, we're back to the spiral...