Turns Out, Life Really Is a Bowl of Cherries

I got off my daily schedule of writing for two reasons: first because it is difficult to cut away in the evening to do it as Roger likes me to spend that time with him, and secondly because this week has been too unbelievable.

Sunday was Mother's Day and while I kept to my program, I went a little crazy with the not-so-good carbs. Why? Just because I thought I deserved it. It was freakin' Mother's Day for crying out loud. By not-so-good carbs, I mean honey roasted peanuts (which used to be my go-to breakfast when I had to eat in the car), and a 4 oz box of Wheat Thins that had been taunting me for a couple of months. Never mind that they were a little stale. On the plus side, I did have bananas and then some cherries Darius got to share with me on Mother's Day. First of the season, and they were delicious. It was nice to spend the day with his family, but I missed being with the other boys and my mom who chose to spend the day with my half-brother.

Sunday night it is hard for us to go to bed knowing that we have to start our 4:40 in the morning routine again the next day, so I think we finally got to bed about 11:00 only to be awakened at midnight by my daughter-in-law, Alicia, saying the Darius was having a grand mal seizure again (again because it was a repeat of what happened 16 August 2007). I don't think we were all ever so frightened in our lives. The first time this happened, we didn't know what caused it: a stage 4 brain tumor the size of an avocado pit. When the seizure occurred this time our worst fears were realized: the tumor must have returned. He came out of the seizure as the EMT's were carrying him to the hospital, and they did a CAT scan there. While we were waiting for the results, his father gave him a blessing that said he would recover quickly and return to his previous activities. We all thought Roger had lost it this time. There was no way someone could recover from a returning cancer. We all knew that meant certain death.

When the doctor came in to say there was no evidence of a tumor redeveloping, I think it shocked me as much as the doctor telling me my son had 6 months to live the first time. Then my next thoughts were of how faithless I was. I was truly ashamed to not have trusted my Heavenly Father. We learned that recurring seizures are not unusual in those who have had them. In fact, he was "lucky" it had only occurred this many years later. The doctor the next day explained to them that the scar tissue has very tender nerve endings which can trigger seizures.

Anyway, I don't think any of us had had this traumatic an experience in a long time, and we were all a couple of days in recovering (and, in my case, repenting). I have continued to journal my eating to make sure I stay on track, but I haven't been blogging it (obviously). I actually had a couple of really low calorie days Monday and Tuesday, but I think I am getting back on track. Until today anyway. I was so tired this morning that after I finished my morning work, instead of having breakfast I took a nap, so breakfast wasn't until 3:00, and that's never a good thing. It's hard to cram 2500 calories into a short space of time.

Salad Days Are Killing Me

I love salads, I really do, but I think it's the sauciness of all those veggies swimming around in dressing that I like. I mixed the pineapple/raisin mixture up in my dressing hoping to minimize the fat content of the salad, but it didn't help much. I've got a couple of recipes for low fat dressings that I'm going to try out if I can get them made before Roger surprises me with another salad. He put olives in there too, but that only accounted for 1% of the fat. The vegannaise in the Thousand Island was the big killer.

Anyway, I made the black bean burgers I've been wanting to make all week, but I didn't have any flax or chia to hold them together since we don't use eggs. It was more like a bean/rice hash, and it was okay. Not too flavorful like you want a burger to be, but I'll work on it. They have some really good black bean burgers at Costco, but I think they have egg in them. If you want it done right, you gotta do it yourself! Here's what I ended up eating today. (Notice the carb loading after the salad to try to offset the fat calories - it's all a numbers game I tell ya. In fact, if I could have eaten 35 more bananas, I'd have gotten the fat percent down to 10. It would have been almost 6000 calories though, so I'd have had to run a marathon or something to work that off. It makes me tired just thinking about it!)

Breakfast: 2 kiwi, 3 bananas

Lunch: huge salad w/ tomatoes, cucumbers, olives, pineapple & raisins, and 4 oz Vegan Thousand Island dressing

Snack: 3 bananas, 2 mangos

Dinner: black bean “burgers” with catsup on Romaine leaves (I was going to have them on bread, but I really wasn't hungry enough even though I knew I needed more carbs.)

Total calories: 1861 fruit;  2308 total

Caloronutrient ratio (carbs/protein/fat): 72/6/21

A Different Kind of Coconut Song

I didn't have a monumental food day. I felt kind of blah, actually; not bad but not good either. I didn't feel like eating, so nothing I ate was very exciting. So, with that being said, I thought I'd share a coconut water with you that my son found called Harmless Harvest. Since coconut water has become such a "thing" and it's everywhere, I have to say the best kind is the one you get from the actual coconut. There are just a couple of little problems with that. These are a bit of a challenge to bust open to get their delicious liquor, and it is very perishable. Also, I found out they soak the coconuts in formaldehyde to keep them from molding while they are transported out of Thailand, their country of origin. So what's a fella to do?

Some brilliant marketing genius decided to start processing the coconut water, so all we had to do is pick up a pack and have all we want. One problem. It didn't really taste much like real coconut water. Now, if you've never had real coconut water, that may not be a problem. But for me, it was. I'd buy a few here and there and use them in smoothies, but I couldn't drink them straight up. Until now. These Harmless Harvest guys figured out a way to cold press the coconut water so that it is not heat processed. I was still skeptical until I tasted it. Wowee Kazowee. It tastes like the real thing, and I really love it. I'm finally able to buy coconut water again and not have to worry about the formaldehyde thing since these are organically grown. Check out their website for more info: http://www.harmlessharvest.com/

Sultana Cucumbers; We call them baby
cukes, but these are full size at 4 to
6 inches. We eat them peel and all.
Thanks, Emil, at Beli Farms for
growing them and Viva La Verde
who delivers them to
my house. (Who does that?)

And ... here's what else I ate today:

Breakfast: 16 oz Harmless Harvest coconut water, 135 g raisins

Lunch: an apple, 2 mangoes

Dinner: 1 oz Stacy’s multi-grain pita chips w/ 4 oz Hummus in a blender; 4 slices Alpine Valley Multi-grain w/ Omega 3 bread (oops, found out it has honey and is therefore not vegan) w/ Dijon mustard and Sultana cucumber slices (my favorite vegan sandwich)

Total calories: 1007 fruit;  1819 total

Caloronutrient ratio (carbs/protein/fat): 80/10/10

Hummus in a Vitamix

I found a new bread at the store yesterday, and since I only have one starch meal a day, I haven't been able to try it until today. I had to redeem myself from the travesty that was last Thursday's dinner for my son when I used store bought white hoagie rolls and what I thought was vegan cheese. I don't want to talk about it, but you can read about it in last week's post if you really need to know about my bloopers. So tonight was sandwich night again, but much improved.

Our first course was a bowl of chocolate nice cream as we always eat the easily digested fruits before the items that don't digest as quickly. While they were eating their nice cream, I made the sandwiches on the griddle/grill my daughter-in-law gave me for Christmas last year. Nice grill marks! They consisted of hummus spread on both pieces with lots of nice veggies in between: arugula, sliced cucumber, sliced roasted red pepper, banana pepper rings, and green onion spears. I had made the hummus earlier in the day from this new recipe I found on Fat Free Vegan (http://blog.fatfreevegan.com/2012/03/hummus-in-the-blender.html). The chickpeas had been cooked over the weekend, and were salt-free. (They were cooked with a few pieces of kombu and some bay leaves. I don't know if the kombu adds sodium or not.) Anyway, that was one delicious sandwich. I have been looking for a sandwich spread to replace my beloved mayonnaise, and I think hummus is a great substitute. I might have to have sandwich day every week, but I know my son likes to try different things, so I'll have it on a different day. Here's what I ate today:

Breakfast: 7 bananas

Lunch: 203 g dried persimmons, 2 mangoes

Dinner: 2 veggie sandwiches: (each sandwich) 2 slices Killer Dave’s 21 Whole Grain bread, ¼ cup Hummus in a Blender, arugula, sultana cucumbers, roasted red pepper, banana pepper rings, green onion

Total calories: 1695 fruit;  2357 total

Caloronutrient ratio (carbs/protein/fat): 85/8/7

Be Nice, and I'll Make You a Nice Cream

So why "nice" cream? Well, it's nice on a couple of different levels. Because it's made from plant food instead of exploiting our bovine friends, so the cows are a lot happier. Also, it's pretty nice to our heart and other organs as there is no fat or cholesterol to clog things up. Oh, yeah, and it tastes good, too, and you can can eat it for breakfast like I did today. I put 5 frozen bananas in my Vitamix and let them sit for a few minutes to thaw a tiny bit. I added a fresh banana, 1 tablespoon raw cacao powder, and 25 grams of coconut sugar. (It doesn't really need the extra sweetening, but it helps get the carb calories up where they're supposed to be.) That was it. No liquid. The Vitamix mixed it up into a lovely softserve bowl of goodness which held me for about 6 hours until lunch time. I'd say that's pretty nice. Here's what else I ate today:

Breakfast: 7 bananas, 1 T cacao powder, 25 g coconut sugar, vanilla stevia

Lunch: 4 mangoes

Dinner: 4 cups basmati rice, diced tomatoes, El Pato tomato sauce

Total calories: 1657 fruit; 2533 total

Caloronutrient ratio (carbs/protein/fat): 90/6/4

Back on Track

I was pretty happy with how today turned out after the frustrations of yesterday. I think the beauty of this kind of clean eating is that one feels comfortable with it. There is a more positive outcome on a lot of different levels. Plus, I found out today I've lost 14 pounds since starting. While my objective is health, the weight loss is certainly a contributor to that. Here's what I ate today:

Breakfast: 5 bananas

Lunch: 16 oz strawberries, 32 g coconut sugar, 4 bananas

Dinner: 4 cups basmati rice, 362 g of crushed pineapple mixed with raisins

Total calories: 1631 fruit; 2358 total

Caloronutrient ratio (carbs/protein/fat): 93/5/2

Mess Up Day

I've spent a lot of years dieting, so it comes as no surprise to me when I have a mess up day. I learned long ago that my resolve to NEVER eat another whatever, wasn't going to happen. HOWEVER, this wasn't one of those days. I just wanted a salad, and my husband had been talking about making one for 5 or 6 days, so today was the day. So what's the problem, you ask.

For me a salad is not a lovely bowl of lettuce lightly sprinkled with lemon juice. My salads are huge and literally doused in salad dressing. I think when I am wanting a salad, what I am really wanting is a big bowl of greens floating in salad dressing. At least today when I ate my salad, I prepared a vegan dressing using a vegan mayonnaise. But my, what a price to pay in terms of my being able to stay within my parameters. After I entered what I had eaten in CRON-O-Meter and realized how badly I had done, I tried for a high carb no fat dinner, but the damage had been done. I'd like to say lesson learned, but who knows. I can be such a dummy sometimes.

I tried to tell Roger I wanted the salad at night so that I could get more fruit in during the day, but he gets very confused about the precise details of what I'm eating. At least he knew not to put the meat and cheese on my salad that was added to his and Wyatt's. Who am I to complain when someone wants to fix food for me when I'm working and don't have time to fix it. Of course, how difficult is it to peel a banana? Seriously?

Re: recipes. I am trying to decide if I want to go down the tofu trail to replicate vegan mayonnaise, ranch dip, etc. I have not been a fan before as I think there are issues with soy not being as healthy as just plain food, but I can't just eat fruit and vegetables yet (especially vegetables) without dips, dressings, and sauces. Of course, the need for too many vegetables is not great. One can get all their nutrients from fruit, but I am not yet acclimated to that. Sometimes I just don't want any more sweet. (Anyone who knows me finds that hard to believe, I know.) So now that we've had true confessions, here's what I ate today:

Breakfast: 6 bananas, 16 oz Harmless Harvest coconut water

Lunch: Large tossed salad with cucumbers, tomatoes, celery, craisins, and 162 g homemade Thousand Island dressing (This is the recipe for a batch: (It makes about 2 pints) 16 oz jar vegenaise, 8 oz catsup, 4 oz sweet pickle relish, and 25 g coconut sugar)

Dinner: 2 cups leftover lima bean soup with an 8 oz can of El Pato tomato sauce, 33 grams coconut sugar, and a splash of apple cider vinegar (I’m trying to replicate catsup.)

Total calories: 841 fruit; 2609 total

Caloronutrient ratio (carbs/protein/fat): 69/8/24 (Yikes!)

Salt of the Earth

Last night I put some beans on to cook, large limas, my favorite. I wanted to try something different and found this recipe and video on the internet. I was intrigued by her use of kombu as I had heard it was used to add umami to foods (Umami is a savory taste, one of the 5 basic tastes together with sweet, sour, bitter, and salty.) 

Low fat vegan chef recipe for cooking dried beans with added salt and no fat:

I use a slow cooker to cook my beans. They were pretty good, but I'm still missing the salt a little bit. Same with the corn chowder from last night. I don't miss it enough to not eat it, but it definitely adds to my satisfaction. There was some sodium in the catsup.

Breakfast: 6 bananas

Lunch: 3 bananas

Dinner: 736 g dried large limas w/ 114 g catsup (with some Smokin Homegrown pepper sauce)

Total calories: 1402 fruit 2359 total

Caloronutrient ratio (carbs/protein/fat): 87/10/3

I'll Always Remember You, Dad

Not sure what to talk about today. My father passed away on this day in 1985 from a throat cancer. I was living in Utah at the time, and I was having trouble trying to figure out when to come as I had two small children at home, and a 12 year old. When I finally got my ticket and got to Ft. Lauderdale where my dad was staying at my Uncle Jimmy's, I was able to be with my father for the last 12 hours of his life. I treasure this time; it was one of the most sacred days of my life, and I learned a lot being with him in those last hours. I arranged his funeral the next day at my old Church in Ft. Lauderdale since daddy didn't have one. I flew home the next day, and was reunited with my nursing baby and the other 2 boys. It was a tough week for all of us and one I will always remember. I also got to stay with my Aunt Katherine while I was there, and we had a wonderful visit as well. She was very kind to all of us girls. You can see by the picture that daddy was in the Air Force. I was born on an Air Force base in Ft. Worth, Texas while he was stationed there during the Korean conflict. Here's what I ate today:

Breakfast: watermelon

Lunch: bananas

Dinner: Vegan corn chowder

Total calories: 1998 fruit (Yay!);  total 2509

Caloronutrient ratio (carbs/protein/fat): 90/5/5

Fruit, Fruit, and More Fruit

I learned yesterday while reading the comments on a Facebook post that 2000 of my 2500 calorie minimum are supposed to be in fruit before I get to the dinner meal. I had been wondering what would motivate someone to eat minimally before hitting those starches when the clock strikes 4:00. (I just got an image of Fred Flinstone checking out of his job at 4:00, yabba dabba do.) 

I guess that speaks to the addictive nature of the cooked foods and/or grains if we think about it that way as the fruit in itself is so delightful. I know from the 3 weeks I spent only eating fruit that I got tired of it some days. I just wanted something savory. Salads were very appealing. The day I stopped and went to this plan, I had a giant salad with Thousand Island dressing for lunch. I still remember how good it tasted. Maybe I needed to be eating more greens. Maybe I just take the fruit for granted when that is all I'm eating. I can't wait to eat fruit in the morning and don't miss savory dishes at all at breakfast time. Here's what I ate yesterday:

May 1, 2015 Friday

Breakfast: watermelon, dragon fruit

Lunch: Youhoo daterade, banana

Dinner: boiled potatoes w/ El Pato tomato sauce, diced tomatoes, and yellow corn

Total calories: 1650 fruit; 2794 total

Caloronutrient ratio (carbs/protein/fat): 89/6/5

Deceptive Marketing Targets Dumb Vegans (like me!)

Each Thursday I make a meal for our middle son who delivers produce for his organic produce business, and we are his last stop before he heads home. We enjoy socializing together, and I enjoy trying out new recipes on him. I'm not much of a shopper, so most of my meals are from scratch, but I got a wild hair today while in the big city, and did some vegan shopping ... or so I thought. I had wanted to make a Vegan Italian Hoagie that was a knockoff from a traditional recipe I had in my archives. It was all pretty simple except for the cheese. I had never had any type of vegan cheese (except soft, spreadable cheeses I'd made from cashews or almonds). I headed for the health food store after finding nothing at the grocery store. There was a whole section of "health food cheese" including organic dairy cheese, so I knew I'd have to shop smart. I found the soy cheese I'd heard people talk about, and there were many varieties. I chose a Monterrey Jack variety and headed back home to set up my sandwich bar.

My son has been a vegan for several years, so apparently he knew the game better than I did. He asked to see the package the cheese had come in, and one of the ingredients was casein. I didn't know what that was, but surely it couldn't be a non-vegan ingredient if it was in soy cheese. Who would buy soy cheese except someone who is avoiding dairy? Anyway, he informed me that it was an animal product, so he would not be eating it. Fortunately there were enough other ingredients on his sub for him to enjoy it: arugula, roasted red pepper, olive tapenade (I made this myself so that I would know what was in it), and he piled some kimchee on there too. Now, let's not get into the bread issue, at least not today. I'm still reeling because of the cheese.

After he left, I did a google search on foods vegans might not realize contain animal products (search: vegans beware). Here is one site that explained the casein and a few other things if you'd like to check it out.

http://www.drinksvelte.com/2014/05/vegans-beware-these-animal-ingredients-could-be-hiding-in-your-food/

It is a little overwhelming to think how best to plan my menus. Like I said before, I like to cook from scratch with very basic foods, so it sounds like I better stick with that plan. 

My food today:

Breakfast: watermelon; 3 bananas later on

Lunch: 8 bananas; 16 oz Harmless Harvest coconut water

Dinner: Italian Vegan Hoagies, kimchee

Total calories: 3042

Caloronutrient ratio (carbs/protein/fat): 85/8/7

Just wondering where we got these ideas ...

Have you met my friends? For all they know, they are headed for some playful days in the mud. I was thinking today why so many animals have been bred for eating. It is a weird concept. My children raised pigs for their 4-H projects, and they are amazingly intelligent creatures. Same with our goats. That's the only farm animals we've raised, but I'm sure the same can be said of other animals. I wonder where we got the idea that farm animals are stupid. It is weird to think of a world where no animals are eaten. I wonder what the numbers would look like.

Here's what I ate today while the fam dined on Bar-B-Q pork nachos (sorry, fellas):

Breakfast: 1 large cantaloupe

Lunch: 8 bananas

Snack: 2 mangoes, 16 oz Harmless Harvest coconut water (this tastes like the real thing)

Dinner: 2 lbs potatoes, 4 oz salsa

Total calories: 2442

Caloronutrient ratio (carbs/protein/fat): 92/5/3

Transitioning

I was thinking today about this journey I'm on and how much it has changed me already. I am not doing the total raw anymore as I think I needed a little more transitional time to get my calories up. I was seriously undercarbed almost the entire time, and it was starting to put me in the starvation mode which I wanted to avoid. So I switched to "Raw til 4" (RT4), which means that I eat raw fruits (mostly) and veggies (occasionally) until dinner time. Then I have a cooked high carb meal. I am still striving to eat as close to 90% of my calories as carbohydrates, 5% protein, and 5% fat (90/5/5), but the numbers are coming out closer to 80/10/10 which is still okay in some books.

I'm still struggling to know how much food to buy and keep it from spoiling before I can eat it. There is a serious learning curve with this lifestyle, but it is not so much difficult as different. I am enjoying the challenge, but I don't want to take too long to figure it out as I'm running out of time. 6 decades of bad eating is not going to change overnight.

Here's my food for the today:

Breakfast: 6 bananas

Lunch: 1 qt apple/cherry juice

Dinner: Roasted red pepper sauce, pasta, vegan Parmesan

Total calories: 2445

Caloronutrient ratio (carbs/protein/fat): 85/10/6

I didn't start out doing this for the planet as many of my young friends have done. I think that's a great reason to do it, but I never felt motivated enough to actually make the change for the animals' sakes, especially dairy and eggs. Since going vegan 3/24/15 (one whole month YAY) that has changed, and I am increasingly repulsed by meat, eggs, and dairy products. It is very strange really. That's not to say they do not seem inviting to me when I prepare them for my family, but when I think what they are, they no longer appeal to me, and I feel a little sick. If we did not have a freezer full of sacrificial animals, I would be unwilling to prepare them for my family. They have been put on notice that I will no longer purchase or prepare animal products for them when these are gone. They will have to get their fixes elsewhere. I'm trying not to be snotty about it as I have spent the better part of the 6 decades eating my friends, so who am I to look down on someone else? But it is increasingly disturbing.

Phew. It's Been a While

I haven't written much in a while as I've been in a very long transition cycle. It seemed futile to write if I didn't have anything of value to say. I'm still not sure if anything I have to say is worthwhile, but it does help me to sort things out if I write them down.

Many moons ago I attempted a raw vegan with my son's family to help him overcome his stage 4 brain tumor. I knew through inspiration it was the right thing to do, but I was not successful in sustaining it as a lifestyle. I won't go into the reasons (i.e. excuses) as they really aren't relevant. I do feel, however, that some of my reasons for failure are important even though at the time I did not understand them completely.

I am beginning to think I have some kind of learning disability. I read something, and my brain translates it into something completely different than was intended by the author. When someone points out to me where my logic was flawed, I can re-read the original document and realize that I didn't understand it's intended message. Is that retarded or what? (No offense to those who cannot read and comprehend what they read.) It's not that I don't comprehend; I simply comprehend it differently than it is intended. Well, I guess I should look into that.

As we traveled on our raw vegan journey, we were led to a young man eating lettuce in a farmers' market in Miami. We asked him if he was a raw vegan, and he proceeded to tell us about a high carbohydrate raw vegan (HCRV) program that recommended keeping the daily fat ratio to under 10% while eating plenty of high carbohydrate raw, whole, fresh, ripe, and hopefully organic plant foods. We bought the book he recommended by Dr. Doug Graham, 80/10/10, and proceeded to read it that very day.

This was a much different program than the initial program we learned which was calorie restricted (due to the fact that the majority of the foods are greens and sprouts which are extremely low calorie). It is not intended that this program be high fat, but in practice, everyone that ate the high green diet soaked their salads in salad dressings, avocados, and olives, all high fat foods. I never did a breakdown, but because the salads were so low calorie, the fat percent had to have been in the 50% or higher range. It's just a matter of working the numbers. (I love numbers!)

As we attempted to implement the high carbohydrate raw vegan lifestyle, I misinterpreted a few things and thus was not successful. 1) I assumed I could not live on just high carbohydrate foods and thought I would need some fat each day (an avocado, oil for salad dressing, olives) to "get the food down". 2) I did not comprehend how much high carb foods would be needed and drastically underate. 3) I thought more greens were needed than is actually the case.

I was searching for something that was sustainable, and neither of these 2 plans were it. We ate a high fat raw vegan diet for sometime (about 2 years), and I personally lost quite a bit of weight along with the other members of our family. Obviously this was not sustainable either, or I would still be doing it. I felt totally miserable and like a failure. Needless to say, I gained all of the weight back (plus a few extra for good measure). While I went through a binge phase, I eventually settled down to a standard American diet minus most of the convenience foods and eating out.

Unfortunately, the weight kept piling on, and I became more and more miserable as the pounds added up, not necessarily from being overweight, but because of what my body was going through. At this age (I'm now 61), my body simply could not manage the extra pounds as well as it did when I was younger. I started praying for some help to know what I should do. I had images of my family having to take care of me because I could no longer move. Sure I would die prematurely, I envisioned the mortician trying to stuff me into a coffin. Talk about a vision board!

Anyway, my prayers were answered in an interesting way. I was going through my e-mails on Sunday night (3/22/15) discarding 98% of them. One that I usually either filed or discarded caught my eye, and I decided to read it. It was a newsletter from Dr. Doug Graham, and they routinely do an interview with a successful HCRV. This time it was for a 55 year old woman named Diane who had lost over 100 pounds and had maintained this lifestyle for several years. I was intrigued. Most of the people on this lifestyle don't have decades of abuse and addiction to deal with, so I had always thought my age was a factor in my failures. I decided to read her interview. She invited anyone who would like to talk to her to contact her via Facebook, and I did that very night.

She wisely pointed out that nothing I had done so far was sustainable as I was not thriving nor healthy. She pointed out the things I had misinterpreted about the HCRV lifestyle and suggested a couple of websites I could check out including 30 bananas a day. What was interesting about that is that I had been to that website earlier this year and even bought the e-book, but I had not really investigated it assuming I could not be successful at it.

Well, to make a really long story a little shorter, I started my 30 day high carbohydrate raw vegan challenge on Tuesday, a week ago (3/24/15). I didn't intend to actually start the 30 day challenge; I was only practicing for the "real" one to start tomorrow, 1 April, It went so well that I decided to keep it going as long as I could, and here I am starting my second week. No one would be more surprised at this than I am. I have learned so much, and still have so much more to learn.

The main thing I have learned in this week is that I have been undernourished my entire life. I am still struggling with getting as many carbs as I need each day and am doing a little better each day. I can't wait to see what the results will bring.

Benefits so far, you ask? Already the swelling in my feet and legs has started to subside. My clothes are a little looser. (I won't be weighing.) I have serious digestive issues and must be very careful with my combining as per the chart above. This doesn't affect the young folks as much, but it is critical for me. Even a little fudging on it leads to indigestion which complicates the sleep apnea I have been experiencing. Even at that, it isn't as bad as it has been the last couple of years where I have thrown up almost every night from the acid reflux. While not resolved (though I fully expect it will be), it is improved over what I've been going through recently.

One of the biggest differences between this and what I have done previously is that I have not eaten ANY overt fats (avocado, oil, olives, nuts, etc.). My daily numbers are usually at 92/4/4 (92% carbs, 4% protein, and 4% fat). My skin is not drying out which happened previously on low fat regimes, so I was surprised at that. Obviously hydration is a bigger factor than fat.

I'm not sure what to do with all the skin when the fat leaves it, and I have yet to begin exercising as my joints are still a little stressed. It won't be long now, and Diane noted that she was a month into it before she began exercising. She now walks about 9 miles a day (she lives in Manhattan).

I am so grateful for a God that cares about me as insignificant as I am in His whole plan. I love the gospel, and I look forward to being a little more useful as my energy level increases and my health improves.

Who Am I Really?

I always find the best way to sort out my thoughts is to write. Technology has been such a great tool in enabling us to do this in a way that can be easily archived and therefore saved forever. I always find that looking back on past writings gives me a vision of the person I was at that time. I also can see that who I was and who I thought I was were not the same person. Of course, then I reflect upon my present state - when will the real me and the person I think I am merge? Maybe when the two beings are resolved, our lives on earth are completed, and we are ready to move on....

What if the purpose for life is to find our true selves? Wouldn't that be a hoot? That would also mean there was a whole earth full of people doing the same thing, and none of us would have a very realistic view of ourselves. We all have this imaginary person we think we are, but everyone else is seeing someone else. I wonder if we all understood that, would we be more empathetic and kind to each other? Wouldn't so-called offenses against us roll off our back easier?

An acquaintance once said, "You know, everyone really is doing the best they can, even if it seems to everyone else they should be doing better." I've thought of that many many times, and I think she was right.

President Hinckley once said, "Just do the best you can, but be sure it is your very best" ("A Challenging Time--A Wonderful Time" LDS CES broadcast, 2 March 2003).

Dean R. Burgess said, "Finding out who we are is one of life’s greatest quests... 'Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not. Beloved, now are we the sons of God” (1 John 3:1–2)... I testify that knowing who you are and keeping your promises and covenants with the Lord will bring you happiness in your life...May we all be able to know and understand who we really are" ("Do You Know Who You Are?" LDS April 2008 General conference).

So maybe our whole purpose here isn't just to resolve this imagined being with our real self, but I like how President Burgess said it IS one of life's greatest quests. I'm not really sure most of realize the incongruity. Is that part of the journey - to come to that realization? I know it always comes as a little surprise to me - I say little surprise because now that I know it to be a fact, I look for it. Still surprised though!

That reminds me of something George Carlin said: "I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose." We really do have to find out for ourselves!

Happy Birthday, Darius

I'm a little late as usual, but I wanted to post my yearly remembrances for Darius' birthday. Whenever one of the children has a birthday, for some reason it brings a lot of things to my mind about our times together. It is a good time for me to write them down as they won't always be in my mind.

This birthday was a special one for us as we were told in August of 2007 that he only had about 18 months to live. If that had been the case, we would be celebrating his memory this birthday, and it would be a sad day for all of us. We are so thankful to our Heavenly Father for the blessing that he was allowed to stay with us for a longer season. Through priesthood blessings and the inspiration to change our eating habits and lifestyle, we have hope that he will have a long and happy life.

I can still see him lying on the floor at the foot of our stairs in our apartment in Provo, Utah. We were living in a student apartment a few miles from BYU where Roger was pursuing his master's degree. He wasn't home much due to classes and a full-time job; Dorian was playing little league baseball all summer, and it was a hot one. Pioneer Day is the July 24, and I can remember how much I hoped this baby would be born soon. Roger had lost the job that had provided insurance, but the expiration date wasn't until 7/31/81. The problem was that Darius' due date was not until the middle of August sometime. We were a little stressed to say the least.

Roger decided to fast and pray that we might be able to pay for this baby somehow. It was Sunday, July 26th. I stayed up late that night sewing baby outfits. Suddenly, my water broke. I was never more surprised in my life. Neither of us expected Roger's prayer to be answered in that way.

Off we went to the hospital, and Darius was born a few hours later: 27 July 1981. He was truly a miracle baby since we had never anticipated being able to have any more children.

As I would look at him sleeping, I was very aware of what a miracle he was and that all children are. Having that baby taught me a lot about the miracle of childbirth. I was very grateful to have been given the gospel so that I could understand this better and appreciate it more. In fact, Darius got his name from the king in the Old Testament who was converted to the gospel by Daniel. He was our testimony of our gratitude for our conversion.

Dorian had mixed feelings about his new little brother. He was almost 8 years old and was pretty used to having things his way. He had been excited about a sibling, especially a brother, for now he'd have someone to play ball with. One of my funniest memories was once when he propped Darius up in an overstuffed easy chair when he was about 3 months old. Then he started tossing a nerf football to him with the hopes he would catch it and return it. It was hilarious. Of course, Dorian was a little frustrated when he realized this wasn't going to happen for awhile.

Darius went through some rough times during his terrible twos. He was my only child that did. He would be so fussy about getting his own way. What strikes me as interesting about this is that he never really acted like that later as he got older. He was pretty mellow about going with the flow.

Some of my fondest memories of the children revolve around the animals they kept for 4-H. Darius and Orion would play for hours with the chilckens, the rabbits, and the goats. They were required to take care of their animals before they could have their breakfast, and there were many mornings when they did not come in until after lunch time. If there was a game imaginable to be played with the animals, they thought of it. Never have two children enjoyed their animals more. Good times, good times.

As Darius grew up, he became interested in the electric guitar. He let his hair grow out, and he and his friend, Stephen, started a band. I don't think they ever got too many gigs, but they sure enjoyed their practice time together. In fact, I broke my ankle once during a school visit when I fell through a porch during a student visit. I called him to drive me home as I was in too much pain to drive myself. He was very perturbed to have his practice time interrupted!

The dating years were rocky ones as the girls at church wouldn't date him because of his long hair. He looked a little wild to them I guess. He was pretty shy, and he didn't get too serious about dating until after his mission. He served for 2 years in the Torreon Mexico mission, and he had a wonderful time. He thought maybe he might want a Latina para su esposa, but then he met Alicia, and it was love at first sight. I think they are very happy together. They are now raising Angelina, Darius' niece. No other little Dariuses or Alicias yet.

Of course, when Darius was diagnosed with a stage 4 brain tumor (16 August 2007), we all went through some rough times. We are now able to say that we are grateful for that time as we all learned so much. We certainly didn't think it was something we would be saying that at any future time.

It is interesting how adversity affects us. We would never encourage it, and we even pray that we will be spared it. Yet, it seems, all of our paths to growth are paved with it.

Somewhere along the way while Darius and Alicia were adjusting to their new lifestyle, we decided we would all like to live together. We put off doing this even though we felt prompted to implement it. Then Dorian and his wife found they were unable to care for their children, and we took over the responsibility of Wyatt and Angelina: Wyatt to us, and Angelina to Darius and Alicia. Then, what had seemed a luxury (moving in together) became more of a necessity as we struggled to assume our new parenting roles. We still wallow through the mire of making the right decisions for the children and knowing how to nurture them correctly, but our knowledge that we are doing the right thing helps us get through it.

For Darius' birthday this year, we had a lot to celebrate, and a lot to hope for as well. We are grateful that he was here, and grateful too that the children are back in our lives after spending several months away. Things are not perfect; perhaps that would be an unrealistic expectation while we live in this world. What we can do is think about how much we do have to be grateful and relish it. Thanks, Darius, for choosing to come to our family and bear our imperfections.

From Russia with Love

I always get behind on the weekends because of the work that goes into the market. I guess there's really nothing new and different because we are making the stuff that people ask us to make for them. So not missing much by not recording that on here. On Monday I start getting a little creative again.

We had a sea veggie salad for lunch; I think I'll call it Surf and Turf. It has some wonderful land veggies in it that go along with the arame (sea vegetable). I made it for the first time last Sunday, but I decided when I made it today that I would put more land vegetables in it, and I liked it a lot better. It was delicious.


We got some beets from our Gainesville farmer friend, Jeff, on Saturday. That is the first time we've gotten them. We ended up with 3/4 of a case which is about 18 lbs., so I'm hoping we can hold them for a while. I have to figure out how to pickle them or something. I used to make pickled beets all the time in my previous life (BR - before Raw), but I have to figure out how to do them in a more enzyme productive manner. Anyway, I made borscht today from a recipe Tatayana gave me. She is from Russia, and has eaten it all her life. Since she has started eating raw, she had to come up with a raw version, and that is what she passed along to me. Here is the version she gave me:

2 cups water
3 med. beets
1 small root of ginger
4 garlic cloves
7 bay leaves
3 sticks of celery
1 bunch of parsley
1/2 cup pecans
some sea salt


In a bowl, put some sauerkraut and minced parsley, and pour the above blended mixture over it. She adds defrosted lima beans which tastes like cooked potatoes in this dish. I didn't have any bay leaves or limas, and I forgot the sauerkraut part, so we just ate the broth, and it was very good. I'll be experimenting with that. I don't know if that is a good food for the market or not. Not too many people eat borscht, but I'll bet it is really good for you.

I also spiralized some beets to mix with an alfredo sauce tomorrow. I think the pink color will be really pretty.

For dinner we had spinach messaged and added to our cheddar cheeze soup base. It was really good. I diced up some tomatoes to have in it also. Very delicious.

Elizabeth has been asking me about foods for the 4th of July. Light and summery... that is what everyone loves in all this heat. I bought a case of corn, and we're going to have a marinated corn for our "heavy" part of the meal. I'll also have cucumber salad, and some kind of tomato dish, maybe a gazpacho since that is usually served chilled. For dessert I'm planning red, white, and blue parfaits. The blueberries, strawberries, and raspberries are amazing, and we'll top them off with some vanilla yogurt silk.

Of course, watermelon will be the star of the day if I can find some good ones. I think all the rain has watered down their flavor a little, but I'll keep hunting.

I was trying to decide if I wanted some "burgers", but they are way too heavy for this time of year. I just like lighter things to eat in the summer. The denser foods are nice in the winter when it is colder.

I'm sure a lot of people will want to add some hot dogs or grilled chicken to that menu, but I'm more than content with it just as it is. One of the things I like about eating like this is how I feel AFTER a meal. For many years I was sick almost every night from acid-reflux. It is such a relief to have NONE of those symptoms. I do not take it for granted. I am very grateful to not have to do that anymore. No food is worth having to feel like that every night of my life.

I also love the light feeling I have. It is hard to explain to anyone who has never experienced it. It is kind of the opposite of how one feels after a Thanksgiving dinner. It is so not like that. All cooked foods drop like a pit into my stomach. Raw fruits and vegetables don't make me feel like that.


We were talking tonight about how grains when they are sprouted are not the chemical composition of a grain but are a vegetable. I wonder if there's been anything written on that. It seems to me I have read that somewhere, but I can't recall where. I was thinking about it because today Angelina said she thought celery was a fruit since she knew people ate celery seed sometimes, so we went over the botanical definition of fruit. Everything else (in the plant kingdom) is a vegetable. I guess it is hard to keep it straight for a 7 year old. Anyway, that got me thinking about how a wheat seed is no longer eaten as a seed when it is sprouted and eaten: it becomes a vegetable. I suppose a lot of the nutrients in the seed are used up by the developing plant which then takes on the characteristics of a plant instead of a seed. Photosynthesis begins and the chemical composition would be entirely different. See what happens when I don't have enough things to keep my mind active?

Seasonal Fruits are the BEST!

Started off the day with some grapefruit juice cocktail. That stuff is amazing. I love grapefruit anyway, but it is a real treat when done in this way. Try it!

For lunch, Alicia made a fruit salad we dressed with the vanilla yogurt silk. Then we had a green salad with ranch that was delicious. We had some crackers with the olive spread and sliced tomatoes and followed up with the butterscotch pudding. (We still have more work to do on that one. It tasted fine, but I would like to work on the texture. The olive spread on the other hand....that's another story! I could it eat it all day and all night and still want some. Better watch out for that stuff.)

Could you tell I had worked out right before lunch? I was starving. It sounds like more food than I usually eat for a meal. What's up with that?

Then for dinner we had some cucumber salad, alfredo, and a lovely kale salad. We were out of avocados, but I did have a half jar of guacamole, so I mixed that in. I also put in a couple of tablespoons of agave. I was thinking about a kale salad I had in a restaurant that put candied pecans on it. I really liked the sweet flavor it gave to the bites that had pecans, so I was thinking maybe it was the sweet flavor I was liking. It worked; I did like it a little better. That's saying something as it is already a really good salad. A couple of tablespoons for that large a serving is not enough sweetness to make you feel like you're having a dessert. It just changes the flavor a little. Try it and see what you think...

There are no ataulfo mangos this week, and I'm very sad to see their season coming to an end. Good thing cherries from Washington are in this week to help comfort me. Wyatt asked me what my favorite fruit was today. I told him it was whatever was in season...