Phew. It's Been a While

I haven't written much in a while as I've been in a very long transition cycle. It seemed futile to write if I didn't have anything of value to say. I'm still not sure if anything I have to say is worthwhile, but it does help me to sort things out if I write them down.

Many moons ago I attempted a raw vegan with my son's family to help him overcome his stage 4 brain tumor. I knew through inspiration it was the right thing to do, but I was not successful in sustaining it as a lifestyle. I won't go into the reasons (i.e. excuses) as they really aren't relevant. I do feel, however, that some of my reasons for failure are important even though at the time I did not understand them completely.

I am beginning to think I have some kind of learning disability. I read something, and my brain translates it into something completely different than was intended by the author. When someone points out to me where my logic was flawed, I can re-read the original document and realize that I didn't understand it's intended message. Is that retarded or what? (No offense to those who cannot read and comprehend what they read.) It's not that I don't comprehend; I simply comprehend it differently than it is intended. Well, I guess I should look into that.

As we traveled on our raw vegan journey, we were led to a young man eating lettuce in a farmers' market in Miami. We asked him if he was a raw vegan, and he proceeded to tell us about a high carbohydrate raw vegan (HCRV) program that recommended keeping the daily fat ratio to under 10% while eating plenty of high carbohydrate raw, whole, fresh, ripe, and hopefully organic plant foods. We bought the book he recommended by Dr. Doug Graham, 80/10/10, and proceeded to read it that very day.

This was a much different program than the initial program we learned which was calorie restricted (due to the fact that the majority of the foods are greens and sprouts which are extremely low calorie). It is not intended that this program be high fat, but in practice, everyone that ate the high green diet soaked their salads in salad dressings, avocados, and olives, all high fat foods. I never did a breakdown, but because the salads were so low calorie, the fat percent had to have been in the 50% or higher range. It's just a matter of working the numbers. (I love numbers!)

As we attempted to implement the high carbohydrate raw vegan lifestyle, I misinterpreted a few things and thus was not successful. 1) I assumed I could not live on just high carbohydrate foods and thought I would need some fat each day (an avocado, oil for salad dressing, olives) to "get the food down". 2) I did not comprehend how much high carb foods would be needed and drastically underate. 3) I thought more greens were needed than is actually the case.

I was searching for something that was sustainable, and neither of these 2 plans were it. We ate a high fat raw vegan diet for sometime (about 2 years), and I personally lost quite a bit of weight along with the other members of our family. Obviously this was not sustainable either, or I would still be doing it. I felt totally miserable and like a failure. Needless to say, I gained all of the weight back (plus a few extra for good measure). While I went through a binge phase, I eventually settled down to a standard American diet minus most of the convenience foods and eating out.

Unfortunately, the weight kept piling on, and I became more and more miserable as the pounds added up, not necessarily from being overweight, but because of what my body was going through. At this age (I'm now 61), my body simply could not manage the extra pounds as well as it did when I was younger. I started praying for some help to know what I should do. I had images of my family having to take care of me because I could no longer move. Sure I would die prematurely, I envisioned the mortician trying to stuff me into a coffin. Talk about a vision board!

Anyway, my prayers were answered in an interesting way. I was going through my e-mails on Sunday night (3/22/15) discarding 98% of them. One that I usually either filed or discarded caught my eye, and I decided to read it. It was a newsletter from Dr. Doug Graham, and they routinely do an interview with a successful HCRV. This time it was for a 55 year old woman named Diane who had lost over 100 pounds and had maintained this lifestyle for several years. I was intrigued. Most of the people on this lifestyle don't have decades of abuse and addiction to deal with, so I had always thought my age was a factor in my failures. I decided to read her interview. She invited anyone who would like to talk to her to contact her via Facebook, and I did that very night.

She wisely pointed out that nothing I had done so far was sustainable as I was not thriving nor healthy. She pointed out the things I had misinterpreted about the HCRV lifestyle and suggested a couple of websites I could check out including 30 bananas a day. What was interesting about that is that I had been to that website earlier this year and even bought the e-book, but I had not really investigated it assuming I could not be successful at it.

Well, to make a really long story a little shorter, I started my 30 day high carbohydrate raw vegan challenge on Tuesday, a week ago (3/24/15). I didn't intend to actually start the 30 day challenge; I was only practicing for the "real" one to start tomorrow, 1 April, It went so well that I decided to keep it going as long as I could, and here I am starting my second week. No one would be more surprised at this than I am. I have learned so much, and still have so much more to learn.

The main thing I have learned in this week is that I have been undernourished my entire life. I am still struggling with getting as many carbs as I need each day and am doing a little better each day. I can't wait to see what the results will bring.

Benefits so far, you ask? Already the swelling in my feet and legs has started to subside. My clothes are a little looser. (I won't be weighing.) I have serious digestive issues and must be very careful with my combining as per the chart above. This doesn't affect the young folks as much, but it is critical for me. Even a little fudging on it leads to indigestion which complicates the sleep apnea I have been experiencing. Even at that, it isn't as bad as it has been the last couple of years where I have thrown up almost every night from the acid reflux. While not resolved (though I fully expect it will be), it is improved over what I've been going through recently.

One of the biggest differences between this and what I have done previously is that I have not eaten ANY overt fats (avocado, oil, olives, nuts, etc.). My daily numbers are usually at 92/4/4 (92% carbs, 4% protein, and 4% fat). My skin is not drying out which happened previously on low fat regimes, so I was surprised at that. Obviously hydration is a bigger factor than fat.

I'm not sure what to do with all the skin when the fat leaves it, and I have yet to begin exercising as my joints are still a little stressed. It won't be long now, and Diane noted that she was a month into it before she began exercising. She now walks about 9 miles a day (she lives in Manhattan).

I am so grateful for a God that cares about me as insignificant as I am in His whole plan. I love the gospel, and I look forward to being a little more useful as my energy level increases and my health improves.

Who Am I Really?

I always find the best way to sort out my thoughts is to write. Technology has been such a great tool in enabling us to do this in a way that can be easily archived and therefore saved forever. I always find that looking back on past writings gives me a vision of the person I was at that time. I also can see that who I was and who I thought I was were not the same person. Of course, then I reflect upon my present state - when will the real me and the person I think I am merge? Maybe when the two beings are resolved, our lives on earth are completed, and we are ready to move on....

What if the purpose for life is to find our true selves? Wouldn't that be a hoot? That would also mean there was a whole earth full of people doing the same thing, and none of us would have a very realistic view of ourselves. We all have this imaginary person we think we are, but everyone else is seeing someone else. I wonder if we all understood that, would we be more empathetic and kind to each other? Wouldn't so-called offenses against us roll off our back easier?

An acquaintance once said, "You know, everyone really is doing the best they can, even if it seems to everyone else they should be doing better." I've thought of that many many times, and I think she was right.

President Hinckley once said, "Just do the best you can, but be sure it is your very best" ("A Challenging Time--A Wonderful Time" LDS CES broadcast, 2 March 2003).

Dean R. Burgess said, "Finding out who we are is one of life’s greatest quests... 'Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not. Beloved, now are we the sons of God” (1 John 3:1–2)... I testify that knowing who you are and keeping your promises and covenants with the Lord will bring you happiness in your life...May we all be able to know and understand who we really are" ("Do You Know Who You Are?" LDS April 2008 General conference).

So maybe our whole purpose here isn't just to resolve this imagined being with our real self, but I like how President Burgess said it IS one of life's greatest quests. I'm not really sure most of realize the incongruity. Is that part of the journey - to come to that realization? I know it always comes as a little surprise to me - I say little surprise because now that I know it to be a fact, I look for it. Still surprised though!

That reminds me of something George Carlin said: "I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose." We really do have to find out for ourselves!

Happy Birthday, Darius

I'm a little late as usual, but I wanted to post my yearly remembrances for Darius' birthday. Whenever one of the children has a birthday, for some reason it brings a lot of things to my mind about our times together. It is a good time for me to write them down as they won't always be in my mind.

This birthday was a special one for us as we were told in August of 2007 that he only had about 18 months to live. If that had been the case, we would be celebrating his memory this birthday, and it would be a sad day for all of us. We are so thankful to our Heavenly Father for the blessing that he was allowed to stay with us for a longer season. Through priesthood blessings and the inspiration to change our eating habits and lifestyle, we have hope that he will have a long and happy life.

I can still see him lying on the floor at the foot of our stairs in our apartment in Provo, Utah. We were living in a student apartment a few miles from BYU where Roger was pursuing his master's degree. He wasn't home much due to classes and a full-time job; Dorian was playing little league baseball all summer, and it was a hot one. Pioneer Day is the July 24, and I can remember how much I hoped this baby would be born soon. Roger had lost the job that had provided insurance, but the expiration date wasn't until 7/31/81. The problem was that Darius' due date was not until the middle of August sometime. We were a little stressed to say the least.

Roger decided to fast and pray that we might be able to pay for this baby somehow. It was Sunday, July 26th. I stayed up late that night sewing baby outfits. Suddenly, my water broke. I was never more surprised in my life. Neither of us expected Roger's prayer to be answered in that way.

Off we went to the hospital, and Darius was born a few hours later: 27 July 1981. He was truly a miracle baby since we had never anticipated being able to have any more children.

As I would look at him sleeping, I was very aware of what a miracle he was and that all children are. Having that baby taught me a lot about the miracle of childbirth. I was very grateful to have been given the gospel so that I could understand this better and appreciate it more. In fact, Darius got his name from the king in the Old Testament who was converted to the gospel by Daniel. He was our testimony of our gratitude for our conversion.

Dorian had mixed feelings about his new little brother. He was almost 8 years old and was pretty used to having things his way. He had been excited about a sibling, especially a brother, for now he'd have someone to play ball with. One of my funniest memories was once when he propped Darius up in an overstuffed easy chair when he was about 3 months old. Then he started tossing a nerf football to him with the hopes he would catch it and return it. It was hilarious. Of course, Dorian was a little frustrated when he realized this wasn't going to happen for awhile.

Darius went through some rough times during his terrible twos. He was my only child that did. He would be so fussy about getting his own way. What strikes me as interesting about this is that he never really acted like that later as he got older. He was pretty mellow about going with the flow.

Some of my fondest memories of the children revolve around the animals they kept for 4-H. Darius and Orion would play for hours with the chilckens, the rabbits, and the goats. They were required to take care of their animals before they could have their breakfast, and there were many mornings when they did not come in until after lunch time. If there was a game imaginable to be played with the animals, they thought of it. Never have two children enjoyed their animals more. Good times, good times.

As Darius grew up, he became interested in the electric guitar. He let his hair grow out, and he and his friend, Stephen, started a band. I don't think they ever got too many gigs, but they sure enjoyed their practice time together. In fact, I broke my ankle once during a school visit when I fell through a porch during a student visit. I called him to drive me home as I was in too much pain to drive myself. He was very perturbed to have his practice time interrupted!

The dating years were rocky ones as the girls at church wouldn't date him because of his long hair. He looked a little wild to them I guess. He was pretty shy, and he didn't get too serious about dating until after his mission. He served for 2 years in the Torreon Mexico mission, and he had a wonderful time. He thought maybe he might want a Latina para su esposa, but then he met Alicia, and it was love at first sight. I think they are very happy together. They are now raising Angelina, Darius' niece. No other little Dariuses or Alicias yet.

Of course, when Darius was diagnosed with a stage 4 brain tumor (16 August 2007), we all went through some rough times. We are now able to say that we are grateful for that time as we all learned so much. We certainly didn't think it was something we would be saying that at any future time.

It is interesting how adversity affects us. We would never encourage it, and we even pray that we will be spared it. Yet, it seems, all of our paths to growth are paved with it.

Somewhere along the way while Darius and Alicia were adjusting to their new lifestyle, we decided we would all like to live together. We put off doing this even though we felt prompted to implement it. Then Dorian and his wife found they were unable to care for their children, and we took over the responsibility of Wyatt and Angelina: Wyatt to us, and Angelina to Darius and Alicia. Then, what had seemed a luxury (moving in together) became more of a necessity as we struggled to assume our new parenting roles. We still wallow through the mire of making the right decisions for the children and knowing how to nurture them correctly, but our knowledge that we are doing the right thing helps us get through it.

For Darius' birthday this year, we had a lot to celebrate, and a lot to hope for as well. We are grateful that he was here, and grateful too that the children are back in our lives after spending several months away. Things are not perfect; perhaps that would be an unrealistic expectation while we live in this world. What we can do is think about how much we do have to be grateful and relish it. Thanks, Darius, for choosing to come to our family and bear our imperfections.

From Russia with Love

I always get behind on the weekends because of the work that goes into the market. I guess there's really nothing new and different because we are making the stuff that people ask us to make for them. So not missing much by not recording that on here. On Monday I start getting a little creative again.

We had a sea veggie salad for lunch; I think I'll call it Surf and Turf. It has some wonderful land veggies in it that go along with the arame (sea vegetable). I made it for the first time last Sunday, but I decided when I made it today that I would put more land vegetables in it, and I liked it a lot better. It was delicious.


We got some beets from our Gainesville farmer friend, Jeff, on Saturday. That is the first time we've gotten them. We ended up with 3/4 of a case which is about 18 lbs., so I'm hoping we can hold them for a while. I have to figure out how to pickle them or something. I used to make pickled beets all the time in my previous life (BR - before Raw), but I have to figure out how to do them in a more enzyme productive manner. Anyway, I made borscht today from a recipe Tatayana gave me. She is from Russia, and has eaten it all her life. Since she has started eating raw, she had to come up with a raw version, and that is what she passed along to me. Here is the version she gave me:

2 cups water
3 med. beets
1 small root of ginger
4 garlic cloves
7 bay leaves
3 sticks of celery
1 bunch of parsley
1/2 cup pecans
some sea salt


In a bowl, put some sauerkraut and minced parsley, and pour the above blended mixture over it. She adds defrosted lima beans which tastes like cooked potatoes in this dish. I didn't have any bay leaves or limas, and I forgot the sauerkraut part, so we just ate the broth, and it was very good. I'll be experimenting with that. I don't know if that is a good food for the market or not. Not too many people eat borscht, but I'll bet it is really good for you.

I also spiralized some beets to mix with an alfredo sauce tomorrow. I think the pink color will be really pretty.

For dinner we had spinach messaged and added to our cheddar cheeze soup base. It was really good. I diced up some tomatoes to have in it also. Very delicious.

Elizabeth has been asking me about foods for the 4th of July. Light and summery... that is what everyone loves in all this heat. I bought a case of corn, and we're going to have a marinated corn for our "heavy" part of the meal. I'll also have cucumber salad, and some kind of tomato dish, maybe a gazpacho since that is usually served chilled. For dessert I'm planning red, white, and blue parfaits. The blueberries, strawberries, and raspberries are amazing, and we'll top them off with some vanilla yogurt silk.

Of course, watermelon will be the star of the day if I can find some good ones. I think all the rain has watered down their flavor a little, but I'll keep hunting.

I was trying to decide if I wanted some "burgers", but they are way too heavy for this time of year. I just like lighter things to eat in the summer. The denser foods are nice in the winter when it is colder.

I'm sure a lot of people will want to add some hot dogs or grilled chicken to that menu, but I'm more than content with it just as it is. One of the things I like about eating like this is how I feel AFTER a meal. For many years I was sick almost every night from acid-reflux. It is such a relief to have NONE of those symptoms. I do not take it for granted. I am very grateful to not have to do that anymore. No food is worth having to feel like that every night of my life.

I also love the light feeling I have. It is hard to explain to anyone who has never experienced it. It is kind of the opposite of how one feels after a Thanksgiving dinner. It is so not like that. All cooked foods drop like a pit into my stomach. Raw fruits and vegetables don't make me feel like that.


We were talking tonight about how grains when they are sprouted are not the chemical composition of a grain but are a vegetable. I wonder if there's been anything written on that. It seems to me I have read that somewhere, but I can't recall where. I was thinking about it because today Angelina said she thought celery was a fruit since she knew people ate celery seed sometimes, so we went over the botanical definition of fruit. Everything else (in the plant kingdom) is a vegetable. I guess it is hard to keep it straight for a 7 year old. Anyway, that got me thinking about how a wheat seed is no longer eaten as a seed when it is sprouted and eaten: it becomes a vegetable. I suppose a lot of the nutrients in the seed are used up by the developing plant which then takes on the characteristics of a plant instead of a seed. Photosynthesis begins and the chemical composition would be entirely different. See what happens when I don't have enough things to keep my mind active?

Seasonal Fruits are the BEST!

Started off the day with some grapefruit juice cocktail. That stuff is amazing. I love grapefruit anyway, but it is a real treat when done in this way. Try it!

For lunch, Alicia made a fruit salad we dressed with the vanilla yogurt silk. Then we had a green salad with ranch that was delicious. We had some crackers with the olive spread and sliced tomatoes and followed up with the butterscotch pudding. (We still have more work to do on that one. It tasted fine, but I would like to work on the texture. The olive spread on the other hand....that's another story! I could it eat it all day and all night and still want some. Better watch out for that stuff.)

Could you tell I had worked out right before lunch? I was starving. It sounds like more food than I usually eat for a meal. What's up with that?

Then for dinner we had some cucumber salad, alfredo, and a lovely kale salad. We were out of avocados, but I did have a half jar of guacamole, so I mixed that in. I also put in a couple of tablespoons of agave. I was thinking about a kale salad I had in a restaurant that put candied pecans on it. I really liked the sweet flavor it gave to the bites that had pecans, so I was thinking maybe it was the sweet flavor I was liking. It worked; I did like it a little better. That's saying something as it is already a really good salad. A couple of tablespoons for that large a serving is not enough sweetness to make you feel like you're having a dessert. It just changes the flavor a little. Try it and see what you think...

There are no ataulfo mangos this week, and I'm very sad to see their season coming to an end. Good thing cherries from Washington are in this week to help comfort me. Wyatt asked me what my favorite fruit was today. I told him it was whatever was in season...

Some New Stuff

All of the food we fixed on Friday for this week was sold, so I had to start over today. I had plenty of cashew cheeze to work with, so we had a lot of fun. First I had to make some things for customers who wanted items delivered today, but that was done by 8 a.m. Then I made more cheddar cheeze, vanilla yogurt silk, Queso Dulce, and cucumber salad. I decided to experiment with some cashew cheeze alfreda, but we haven't eaten it yet, so I'll have to report on that when we eat it.

Here's the recipe for the "pasta":

1 whole zucchini shredded
1 red pepper, julienned
1/4 lb carrot, shredded
a touch of basil
some parsley
enough alfreda to sauce the dish

I plan on sprinkling some pine nut parmesan on it when it is served.

The alfredo is cashew cheeze (2 c) mixed with 1 T lemon juice, 1 T Nama Shoyu, 2 garlic cloves, 1 t apple cider vinegar, an jalopeno, some salt and pepper.

One other cashew cheeze experiment was an olive sandwich spread to which some red pepper, an jalopeno, and some green olives were added. I don't know if green olives are raw or not, but I love them anyway, and they made this spread taste really good. I pulled some alicheezits from the dehydrator to spread it on. Wow! It was really good. I think it would be really good with sliced tomatoes on it as well when we use it for a meal.

My last experiment was for a grapefruit cocktail made with some delicious grapefruits we got for the market this weekend. I just mixed grapefruit juice with agave nectar and water. It was a delicious soft drink. 5 cups juice, 2 1/2 cups agave. Fill up the gallon container with water. Serve over ice.

I also put some Irish moss on to soak and made it into gel tonight. I filled up 4 pint jars with a 1/2 lb. of moss and had 3/4 cup left over. I couldn't resist trying a recipe for butterscotch pudding I have been dying to try, so I was glad that I had the almonds soaking that were needed for the almond mylk that is the basis. The recipe calls for "thick" almond mylk, so I interpreted that as 4 cups of water to 2 cups almonds, soaked, instead of the usual 8 cups of water. This made 4 1/2 cups of almond creme, of which 2 1/2 cups were used for the pudding with the 3/4 cup of Irish moss. Then I added 1/2 cup agave nectar, 1 teaspoon butterscotch extract (from Frontier - organic, no alcohol), and 1/2 a vanilla bean. It tasted great, but we have to wait for it to set-up to see how the texture works.

All the soaked almonds had had their 48 hours dehydrating time, so they came out tonight. We need to get more alicheezits going, but that will have to wait until tomorrow as I'm tuckered out, and Roger's tired of washing dishes (4 loads today!). I'm lucky to have him to help. He's a great sous chef.

Also enjoying the wonderful stone fruits that are in season: peaches, pluots, cherries, plums... does food get any better than this?

Cucumber Salad by the Ton

Sorry I haven’t kept up; this has been a crazy week. Thursday I needed to drive to Alachua to pick up kale and cucumbers for our weekly orders of kale salad and cucumber salad. I decided to call Geri who is visiting from Utah to see if she wanted to ride with me. She agreed and probably got more than she bargained for. I don’t think she’s ever seen that much “country”. We finally found a park on our way home where we could stop for lunch, and we had a great romaine salad with no net tuna, cucumber salad, and ranch dressing. At least I thought it was great. She ate it all, so I’m thinking she must have liked it as well. It is hard for people to believe it has no meat products or dairy. They don’t expect it to taste good. As an aside, our branch president told Roger he had felt sorry for him having to eat this way until he saw how we ate the other night at the branch party. We really aren’t deprived at all.

I was thinking about that yesterday when I was asking how the cheddar cheeze went over at the market yesterday. (I was unable to go as I had a church assignment in Orlando.) I was wondering if I would eat it if I was still eating “real” cheese. I think our palettes have to adjust to eating differently, but it is not offensive in any way. We eat what we are used to eating. Things we are not used to seem strange to us. I guess the main difference is that once we get educated as the harmful effects of something, say coffee for example, we make an effort to find substitutes that are both palatable and not destructive. Once we realized that meat and dairy products were unsuitable for us, we were determined to find substitutes that we enjoyed as much or more that were plant-based. (Please read the China Study if you haven’t done so already. It really is one of the best scientific explanations for why we must change our way of eating culturally.)

Well, anyway, enough of the philosophical stuff. On to the goods! Friday we had some delicious Mac n Cheeze made with wonderful spiralized zucchini, cheddar cheeze sauce, and marinated mushrooms. Of course we had a delicious salad to go with it. We experimented with mixing our ranch dressing and avo mayo for a fantastic avocado ranch dressing.

Saturday was leftover no net tuna for Wyatt and Roger. Angelina and I just had regular salads with veggies. We had some nice cherries and grapes as well. Roger had his cucumber salad of course. He eats it every day if we have it. We had Queso Dulce for dinner with celery sticks. Darius and Alicia like to dip strawberries in their QD. Today I sent shredded zucchini and cheeze sauce for the after-conference lunch. They have the missionaries with them as well as Alicia’s mom. I made a couple of quarts of cucumber ranch dressing to go with all the carrot sticks we have. The cucumbers add a nice touch to it.

I am making a bunch more cucumber salad as Roger eats it by the pound. Since the name didn't come up with I put it in the labels, I guess I haven't posted how this is made. It is very simple. I don't measure any of the ingredients, so I can only tell you what goes into it: cucumber, onion, apple cider vinegar, raw agave nectar, and a pinch of salt. I also marinated some broccoli (Nama Shoyu, maple syrup, onion powder, jalopeno pepper, sesame oil) so that we could have broccoli soup (marinated broccoli and cheddar cheeze) for dinner. I guess I’d better get more cheeze started, but I can’t make the alicheezits from the rejuvelac that's ready as the dehydrators are both going full blast with soaked and sprouted almonds.

There were a lot of people asking for prepared foods at the market yesterday, but it is too hard for us to keep everything at the right temperature. We are asking everyone to let us know what they would like us to bring to them there as we can keep small quantities cold. New people came though who had heard about our stuff and were hoping to buy it. I’m sorry they were disappointed; we’re not sure how to get people what they want. We’ll keep working on it. ¡Viva La Verde! is definitely a work in progress.