just a little overwhelmed

I can't say that a day goes by when I don't think to myself, "I really need to write that down in my blog." Oftentimes lately I've said this 2 or 3 or 4 times a day. It has literally been a whirlwind of amazing events in my life since I last recorded anything. It is so frustrating as I don't imagine I will ever be able to capture these events.

The last time I wrote was just after my birthday. That seems eons ago right now, but it has only (?) been 5 weeks. Since then I have:

Gone to Green Bay, Wisconsin with Roger, Darius, and Alicia.

Gone to New York City with Roger, Darius, and Alicia.

Started back teaching early morning seminary (6:15 a.m. M - F).

Watched 2 Hurricanes threaten the Florida coasts, or was it 3?

Had so many inspirational moments I cannot begin to count them.

Rode several emotional roller coaster rides with Dorian and his family.

Booked a Bahamas cruise for Dorian and his family in November for Dorian's birthday.

Planned a trip to New York City AGAIN for this coming Thursday through Monday (school break) where I will participate in a raw food class with a chef we met at our last outing to NY (Raw Soul).

Been on the amazing NY subway system and become convinced that there was a genius behind its development.

Ridden a train (from NJ to Grand Central Station).

Been to a Mets game.

Been to a Packers game and toured their museum and stadium (awesome even if you are not a fan - did you know the Packers are the only public owned sports team?).

Watched the Daytona Cubs win the Florida State League championship (minor league high A).

Sorrowed about the Dodgers leaving Jacksonville only to be replaced by the Marlins...

Purchased season tickets to the Daytona Cubs for the 2009 season.

Attended the Orlando temple.

Visited the Manhattan temple.

Ate lunch at the Quintessence and Raw Soul restaurants in Manhattan - absolutely amazing (everything you've heard about the food in NYC is understated - it is amazing).

Gone to farmer's markets (one of my personal favorite activities) in Green Bay (where they had the most amazing little tomatoes I have ever eaten) AND Union Square (Manhattan).

Learned about the "Amigos for Christ" (http://www.amigosforchrist.org/). (This was a whole blog entry in itself. I usually avoid these kinds of booths at fairs and farmer's markets, but I kept finding myself being drawn to it. I purchased some journals for my seminary students and Orion. It is neat to think of Kathy Fox and her son going to Nicaragua to help build houses everytime I see the journals.)

Gone to Times Square.

Ridden the L train and lived to tell about it.

Attended a Spanish branch in Green Bay.

Taught an institute lesson to about 30 college aged kids in Jacksonville (Matt. 13). Realized myself that this chapter with 8 parables is Jesus' prophecies regarding the gathering of Israel.

Had a grandma camp for Wyatt during one of the hurricanes. Learned he loves corned beef hash and watching dolphins at Marineland.

Visited a 3 story Toys R Us in NY with a ferris wheel in the middle of it.

Bought some new clothes at an awesome Goodwill in Green Bay. Threw out old, way too baggy clothes.

Discovered LaraBars.

Locked ourselves out of Dorian's house while we staying with the children and had to call a locksmith. Upside: it was a stunningly beautiful night under the stars. We could even see the Milky Way!

Harvested the most awesome watermelons I've ever eaten along with tomatoes, cucumbers, parsley, and peppers, not to mention learning to eat more of the wild edibles our property produces. Chickweed, our most plentiful weed, is a daily salad addition now.

Learned to make a few raw salad dressings that we actually like. We've almost weaned Roger off the thousand island.

Made an incredible raw garbanza bean sprout hummus. I don't think anyone else liked it as much as I did, but I loved it! (Which is unusual - I'm not usually crazy about stuff like that, especially raw beans.)

Well, I suppose there is more, but you get the idea. And I haven't even gone into any of my spiritually uplifting moments.

I will share my most recent. I have been thinking about the China Study lately - written by Dr. Colin Campbell. I have been trying to think of ways to share the information in it with others. I have finally gotten over my anger over being brainwashed all of my life as to the foods I have eaten which are very unhealthy. I was remembering back in the 70's how there were lots of commercials for cigarettes on TV. Most were very enticing, and I'm sure not a few people started smoking as a result of the propaganda. Once the surgeon general came out with the statement that smoking could lead to lung cancer, laws were passed which restricted cigarette advertising. People still continued to smoke of course, but often times, people started smoking because it was the rebel thing to do.

Now that smoking is seen as such a health hazard, I assume fewer people are beginning the habit, but I don't know the statistics. My point has nothing to do with smoking except to say that I see our food habits changing along those same lines. It is undeniable the harm that is caused by certain foods, especially processed and/or high fat foods. Of course, people persist in eating them for a couple of reasons: they induce feelings of satisfaction; they are addicted to them; they think the research is a bunch of rubbish; and it is the rebel thing to do.

The China Study outlines 45 years of research that determined "even relatively small intakes of animal based foods (from 0% to 20% of total calories) could encourage biological processes that, over a lifetime, would give rise to higher risks for a wide variety of diseases typically found in Western societies (e.g. cancers, cardiovascular diseases, diabetes, etc.)."

My a-duh moment came yesterday as I was thinking of what I should prepare for the Relief Society sisters in terms of preparedness. I was thinking about the Word of Wisdom (Doctrine and Covenants 89). I remembered that when this revelation was given to Joseph Smith during the 19th century, the word caffeine had not even been invented yet. No one knew the harmful effects of alcohol, caffeine, or nicotine. The early saints that obeyed the Word of Wisdom simply out of faith. It wasn't until the 20th century that science learned about the harmful drugs in these foods commonly consumed by most Westerners.

Now, here we are in the 21st century. Dr. Campbell, and others, have done extensive studies that have again proven the Word of Wisdom to be true.

10. And again, verily I say unto you, all wholesome herbs God hath ordained for the constitution, nature, and use of man—
11. Every herb in the season thereof, and every fruit in the season thereof; all these to be used with prudence and thanksgiving.
12. Yea, flesh also of beasts and of the fowls of the air, I, the Lord, have ordained for the use of man with thanksgiving; nevertheless they are to be used sparingly;
13. And it is pleasing unto me that they should not be used, only in times of winter, or of cold, or famine.
14. All grain is ordained for the use of man and of beasts, to be the staff of life, not only for man but for the beasts of the field, and the fowls of heaven, and all wild animals that run or creep on the earth;
15. And these hath God made for the use of man only in times of famine and excess of hunger.
16. All grain is good for the food of man; as also the fruit of the vine; that which yieldeth fruit, whether in the ground or above the ground—
17. Nevertheless, wheat for man, and corn for the ox, and oats for the horse, and rye for the fowls and for swine, and for all beasts of the field, and barley for all useful animals, and for mild drinks, as also other grain.

I am amazed at how we look at verse 12 and see it as a license to kill animals daily for our food when verse 13 so clearly indicates it is only supposed to be during extreme conditions of hardship. True also for grains (vv. 14 AND 15).

My a-duh moment came when I realized the scientific research is here now to substantiate these unpopular teachings. It is being received as negatively as it was when cigarettes were found to be bad. We don't like change! We want to keep doing what we're doing even when it doesn't work. Just as the people in Joseph Smith's time found it hard to give up addictive substances, so are we. It doesn't matter how much evidence there is to the contrary, WE personally are going to beat the odds.

Unfortunately, the dialysis labs and cancer clinics and cemetaries are full of our loved ones who did not beat the odds. It is likely some of us aren't going to either if we don't make an effort to change. While we all have to die, I agree with Sister Davis' 97 year uncle who said, "If I'd have known I was going to have to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." I assume he meant he would have enjoyed a better quality of life in his older years if he had taken better care of himself.

Dr. Oz has introduced a concept known as "biological age". Everyone of us who is eating poorly and not exercising has a biological age far beyond our chronological one. The degree to which we are hyper-aging depends upon our degree of overconsumption of foods that detract from our health. According to the 45+ years of research from Dr. Campbell, "One of the most direct ways to think about which foods to favor is to consider the concept of 'nutrient richness'; ... it is clear to me that these are the whole plant foods: whole vegetables, beans, fruits, raw nuts and seeds, and cereal grains. This also means that, as much as possible, we should avoid or minimize the consumption of any foods that stray from this group. These include animal foods and fragments of plant-based foods (like sugar, white flour, oil) that are used to make 'junk' foods."

I am grateful for a-duh moments. They never sound quite so profound on paper as they do when I have them because I am not able to write with the same intensity and energy with which it is delivered by the Holy Ghost.

If you have not already read the report by Dr. Campbell, please do so. I have a PDF summary of it I can e-mail you. I'm off to finish off the hummus with some crunchy celery sticks.

It will not be in vain.

Having had a rough day yesterday required some analysis on my part to figure it all out. It was an amazingly emotional time, and I cried almost all day long. Fortunately, Roger was working in Palatka and was not there to witness most of it. We cried together over a couple of things after he got home, but he has no idea what I had been through during the day.

In the morning I had wanted to watch some of the baseball 2008 draft while I enjoyed my morning watermelon. When the first young man was drafted, I began crying while thinking of his family and how much this might mean to all of them.

When I went back to work after that, I plugged my Zune in, and I have a playlist called "working" that has all my favorites in it. I don't have to stop and program music as I like all the songs in there. Early on, "Earth Angel" came on, and the waterworks began anew. This was getting ridiculous! (If you're guessing that I'm not a particularly sentimental person, you are correct.) This particular song was the one I used to use as my ringtone for Bonnie, and I can never hear it without thinking of her. (The lesson here is to never use one of your favorite songs as a ringtone for someone who may walk out of your life.)

I've heard this song several times since she left, and I have always felt a lot of emotion, but this time it was more extreme than before. I started thinking about why that was, and I realized it was because I was feeling the loss of her in my life for the first time. Prior to this, I had felt a lot of emotions including anger, frustration, and sadness, but never loss. This time I realized I had truly lost someone in my life that I loved. I guess I had not wanted to acknowledge this before. So there you go.

Then, once I realized this, I started thinking about other losses, including Jac. While she is not out of my life physically, certainly emotionally she is. Again, I felt the same sense of loss. This is heightened by the sense of loss I have for Orion and Brooklyn too as they cannot be as large a part of my life with her gone.

I had a lot of work to do, thank goodness, and I tried not to think about it too much, but it was very hard to do.

After I finished working, I decided to catch up on some DVR'd material (no more draft right now, thanks), and turned on the Oprah show. There was my old friend Kris Carr (of course, she doesn't know we are old friends) who I have read about quite a bit since Darius started his cancer ordeal. She is a former model / actress who found out after she'd made it big in a superbowl Bud commercial that she had terminal stage 4 liver cancer. She has written a book called Crazy, Sexy Cancer Tips that we read while we were at Hippocrates. I had never seen her on TV, so I was delighted to see that she was on. Dr. Oz visited her at home where she made him a green drink on air along with a great salad. She explained how these things were part of her recovery and acceptance of her illness and how she felt better than she had before she got sick. They showed a few other alternatives to medicine she had chosen including yoga and meditation. She insisted that instead of the cancer killing her, it had helped her live. (For example, she was previously afraid of heights, and they showed a clip of her learning to fly on the trapeze.)

It was a wonderful interview, but, you guessed it, I cried all the way through it. As if that was not enough, there was another man on the show, Randy Pausch, who has 3 children under the age of 5 who has terminal pancreatic cancer. He has been given less than 6 months to live. He was very inspirational. He has written a book called The Last Lecture. (He was a professor at Carnegie-Mellon.) He has not chosen any alternative health practices, so it was a pretty dramatic contrast. I think everyone in the audience was crying as he finished thinking of him leaving his beautiful young family behind.

When Roger came home, I thought he might want to see Kris, so I played it again for him. Of course, we cried together. One of the questions Dr. Oz asked her was how was she going to feel if she found out this was all not working and that she was going to die anyway. This was hard for me because I fear that all the time in relation to Darius' healing. Of course, I never acknowlege it, especially to him, but Kris gave a wonderful response I will try to remember. She said her life was far better now than it ever was before the cancer, so she had no regrets. She was doing what she wanted to do with her life, she happily married, and she loved her family and had a good relationship with all of them. She said that we would all die eventually anyway, so while it was harder to think of dying earlier than later, as long as one lives while he / she is alive, one need not have any regrets.

I hope that Darius' life is better now and that he feels that the cancer has given him an opportunity to live and to analyze his relationship to others in his life and to his God. I think that this is the case. If that is true AND he is also healed from that cancer, he has received a double blessing.

I ended the day with the realization that his disease has given all of us a second chance. Roger and I, and I think Alicia too, were struggling to overcome some health challenges when Darius got sick. With his recovery, we have all found new life. What a blessing it can prove to be to all of us. Of course, there are family members and friends who are opposed to what he is doing and do not think it will work. This is unfortunate because what he is doing will address their health and mental health concerns as well. Whether or not it heals Darius, he will have been the vehicle for everyone with whom he has contact to get a new lease on life (whether they appreciate it or take advantage of it or not). My closing thoughts for the day: As for me and my house, his struggle will not be in vain. I will use the knowledge and experiences he has given me to make a difference in my life. I hope that I can share this with others in my sphere of influence as well, so that his struggle will be even more long-reaching.

As I was thinking of this today, I was thinking of the Savior's Atonement and the donut story shared in a seminary class somewhere. The student could eat the donut if one member of the class did a certain number of push-ups. By the time he had done several hundred push-ups, the latter part of the class didn't want him to have to do any more push-ups for them, so they told the teacher they didn't want a donut. The teacher answered that was fine, but the push-ups had to be done anyway. They could accept the donut or not.

The Saviour has died for all of our sins whether we choose to partake or not. Darius has gone through this horrendous ordeal whether any of us choose to learn anything from it or not. What a horrible waste it is when we choose not to benefit from the suffering of others. It is one thing not to listen to well-intentioned advice, but it is quite another to not accept the offerings of a sacrifice. I don't think Darius intended to sacrifice so that so many could benefit, but since he did, who are we to not pay attention? And who knows what kinds of conversations were had before he came to earth? Perhaps he did agree to have a terminal illness so that people could see the deceptions that were being taught on the earth.

Colin Campbell wrote a book (China Study) trying to expose these deceptions, and many do not want to listen; many do. Then there is Kris Carr telling us there might be a better way. There are many more too numerous to name. How many have to go through this before we will listen?

I have heard these teachings for many years, but not until my son went through his experience was it a life-changing experience for me. It had to touch me in a personal way before I would make the necessary changes. I suppose the Atonement is that way too: until it is personal, no one will listen. You have my attention: I'm listening.