All In A Day

2011-07-18T12:41:00.001-04:00

http://tafeweb.com/19007/robert-mullineux/AOF-cmsms/modules/Search/prot.htm

2011-07-15T05:53:00.001-04:00

http://closdulac.fr/modules/Search/tubyus.htm

Happy Birthday, Darius

2009-07-29T09:11:00.008-04:00

I'm a little late as usual, but I wanted to post my yearly remembrances for Darius' birthday. Whenever one of the children has a birthday, for some reason it brings a lot of things to my mind about our times together. It is a good time for me to write them down as they won't always be in my mind.

This birthday was a special one for us as we were told in August of 2007 that he only had about 18 months to live. If that had been the case, we would be celebrating his memory this birthday, and it would be a sad day for all of us. We are so thankful to our Heavenly Father for the blessing that he was allowed to stay with us for a longer season. Through priesthood blessings and the inspiration to change our eating habits and lifestyle, we have hope that he will have a long and happy life.

I can still see him lying on the floor at the foot of our stairs in our apartment in Provo, Utah. We were living in a student apartment a few miles from BYU where Roger was pursuing his master's degree. He wasn't home much due to classes and a full-time job; Dorian was playing little league baseball all summer, and it was a hot one. Pioneer Day is the July 24, and I can remember how much I hoped this baby would be born soon. Roger had lost the job that had provided insurance, but the expiration date wasn't until 7/31/81. The problem was that Darius' due date was not until the middle of August sometime. We were a little stressed to say the least.

Roger decided to fast and pray that we might be able to pay for this baby somehow. It was Sunday, July 26th. I stayed up late that night sewing baby outfits. Suddenly, my water broke. I was never more surprised in my life. Neither of us expected Roger's prayer to be answered in that way.

Off we went to the hospital, and Darius was born a few hours later: 27 July 1981. He was truly a miracle baby since we had never anticipated being able to have any more children.

As I would look at him sleeping, I was very aware of what a miracle he was and that all children are. Having that baby taught me a lot about the miracle of childbirth. I was very grateful to have been given the gospel so that I could understand this better and appreciate it more. In fact, Darius got his name from the king in the Old Testament who was converted to the gospel by Daniel. He was our testimony of our gratitude for our conversion.

Dorian had mixed feelings about his new little brother. He was almost 8 years old and was pretty used to having things his way. He had been excited about a sibling, especially a brother, for now he'd have someone to play ball with. One of my funniest memories was once when he propped Darius up in an overstuffed easy chair when he was about 3 months old. Then he started tossing a nerf football to him with the hopes he would catch it and return it. It was hilarious. Of course, Dorian was a little frustrated when he realized this wasn't going to happen for awhile.

Darius went through some rough times during his terrible twos. He was my only child that did. He would be so fussy about getting his own way. What strikes me as interesting about this is that he never really acted like that later as he got older. He was pretty mellow about going with the flow.

Some of my fondest memories of the children revolve around the animals they kept for 4-H. Darius and Orion would play for hours with the chilckens, the rabbits, and the goats. They were required to take care of their animals before they could have their breakfast, and there were many mornings when they did not come in until after lunch time. If there was a game imaginable to be played with the animals, they thought of it. Never have two children enjoyed their animals more. Good times, good times.

As Darius grew up, he became interested in the electric guitar. He let his hair grow out, and he and his friend, Stephen, started a band. I don't think they ever got too many gigs, but they sure enjoyed their practice time together. In fact, I broke my ankle once during a school visit when I fell through a porch during a student visit. I called him to drive me home as I was in too much pain to drive myself. He was very perturbed to have his practice time interrupted!

The dating years were rocky ones as the girls at church wouldn't date him because of his long hair. He looked a little wild to them I guess. He was pretty shy, and he didn't get too serious about dating until after his mission. He served for 2 years in the Torreon Mexico mission, and he had a wonderful time. He thought maybe he might want a Latina para su esposa, but then he met Alicia, and it was love at first sight. I think they are very happy together. They are now raising Angelina, Darius' niece. No other little Dariuses or Alicias yet.

Of course, when Darius was diagnosed with a stage 4 brain tumor (16 August 2007), we all went through some rough times. We are now able to say that we are grateful for that time as we all learned so much. We certainly didn't think it was something we would be saying that at any future time.

It is interesting how adversity affects us. We would never encourage it, and we even pray that we will be spared it. Yet, it seems, all of our paths to growth are paved with it.

Somewhere along the way while Darius and Alicia were adjusting to their new lifestyle, we decided we would all like to live together. We put off doing this even though we felt prompted to implement it. Then Dorian and his wife found they were unable to care for their children, and we took over the responsibility of Wyatt and Angelina: Wyatt to us, and Angelina to Darius and Alicia. Then, what had seemed a luxury (moving in together) became more of a necessity as we struggled to assume our new parenting roles. We still wallow through the mire of making the right decisions for the children and knowing how to nurture them correctly, but our knowledge that we are doing the right thing helps us get through it.

For Darius' birthday this year, we had a lot to celebrate, and a lot to hope for as well. We are grateful that he was here, and grateful too that the children are back in our lives after spending several months away. Things are not perfect; perhaps that would be an unrealistic expectation while we live in this world. What we can do is think about how much we do have to be grateful and relish it. Thanks, Darius, for choosing to come to our family and bear our imperfections.

Processed People

2009-07-06T07:54:00.004-04:00

Thought this video might be worth your perusal. It is weird to think about how much mis-information is out there and how much we have bought into it. Of course, many would say we are misinformed by thinking fries and hamburgers and milkshakes are bad. I guess we can let the fruits of our labors determine which path we want to follow.

From Russia with Love

2009-06-30T00:29:00.008-04:00

I always get behind on the weekends because of the work that goes into the market. I guess there's really nothing new and different because we are making the stuff that people ask us to make for them. So not missing much by not recording that on here. On Monday I start getting a little creative again.

We had a sea veggie salad for lunch; I think I'll call it Surf and Turf. It has some wonderful land veggies in it that go along with the arame (sea vegetable). I made it for the first time last Sunday, but I decided when I made it today that I would put more land vegetables in it, and I liked it a lot better. It was delicious.

We got some beets from our Gainesville farmer friend, Jeff, on Saturday. That is the first time we've gotten them. We ended up with 3/4 of a case which is about 18 lbs., so I'm hoping we can hold them for a while. I have to figure out how to pickle them or something. I used to make pickled beets all the time in my previous life (BR - before Raw), but I have to figure out how to do them in a more enzyme productive manner. Anyway, I made borscht today from a recipe Tatayana gave me. She is from Russia, and has eaten it all her life. Since she has started eating raw, she had to come up with a raw version, and that is what she passed along to me. Here is the version she gave me:

2 cups water
3 med. beets
1 small root of ginger
4 garlic cloves
7 bay leaves
3 sticks of celery
1 bunch of parsley
1/2 cup pecans
some sea salt

In a bowl, put some sauerkraut and minced parsley, and pour the above blended mixture over it. She adds defrosted lima beans which tastes like cooked potatoes in this dish. I didn't have any bay leaves or limas, and I forgot the sauerkraut part, so we just ate the broth, and it was very good. I'll be experimenting with that. I don't know if that is a good food for the market or not. Not too many people eat borscht, but I'll bet it is really good for you.

I also spiralized some beets to mix with an alfredo sauce tomorrow. I think the pink color will be really pretty.

For dinner we had spinach messaged and added to our cheddar cheeze soup base. It was really good. I diced up some tomatoes to have in it also. Very delicious.

Elizabeth has been asking me about foods for the 4th of July. Light and summery... that is what everyone loves in all this heat. I bought a case of corn, and we're going to have a marinated corn for our "heavy" part of the meal. I'll also have cucumber salad, and some kind of tomato dish, maybe a gazpacho since that is usually served chilled. For dessert I'm planning red, white, and blue parfaits. The blueberries, strawberries, and raspberries are amazing, and we'll top them off with some vanilla yogurt silk.

Of course, watermelon will be the star of the day if I can find some good ones. I think all the rain has watered down their flavor a little, but I'll keep hunting.

I was trying to decide if I wanted some "burgers", but they are way too heavy for this time of year. I just like lighter things to eat in the summer. The denser foods are nice in the winter when it is colder.

I'm sure a lot of people will want to add some hot dogs or grilled chicken to that menu, but I'm more than content with it just as it is. One of the things I like about eating like this is how I feel AFTER a meal. For many years I was sick almost every night from acid-reflux. It is such a relief to have NONE of those symptoms. I do not take it for granted. I am very grateful to not have to do that anymore. No food is worth having to feel like that every night of my life.

I also love the light feeling I have. It is hard to explain to anyone who has never experienced it. It is kind of the opposite of how one feels after a Thanksgiving dinner. It is so not like that. All cooked foods drop like a pit into my stomach. Raw fruits and vegetables don't make me feel like that.

We were talking tonight about how grains when they are sprouted are not the chemical composition of a grain but are a vegetable. I wonder if there's been anything written on that. It seems to me I have read that somewhere, but I can't recall where. I was thinking about it because today Angelina said she thought celery was a fruit since she knew people ate celery seed sometimes, so we went over the botanical definition of fruit. Everything else (in the plant kingdom) is a vegetable. I guess it is hard to keep it straight for a 7 year old. Anyway, that got me thinking about how a wheat seed is no longer eaten as a seed when it is sprouted and eaten: it becomes a vegetable. I suppose a lot of the nutrients in the seed are used up by the developing plant which then takes on the characteristics of a plant instead of a seed. Photosynthesis begins and the chemical composition would be entirely different. See what happens when I don't have enough things to keep my mind active?

Seasonal Fruits are the BEST!

2009-06-24T00:12:00.005-04:00

Started off the day with some grapefruit juice cocktail. That stuff is amazing. I love grapefruit anyway, but it is a real treat when done in this way. Try it!

For lunch, Alicia made a fruit salad we dressed with the vanilla yogurt silk. Then we had a green salad with ranch that was delicious. We had some crackers with the olive spread and sliced tomatoes and followed up with the butterscotch pudding. (We still have more work to do on that one. It tasted fine, but I would like to work on the texture. The olive spread on the other hand....that's another story! I could it eat it all day and all night and still want some. Better watch out for that stuff.)

Could you tell I had worked out right before lunch? I was starving. It sounds like more food than I usually eat for a meal. What's up with that?

Then for dinner we had some cucumber salad, alfredo, and a lovely kale salad. We were out of avocados, but I did have a half jar of guacamole, so I mixed that in. I also put in a couple of tablespoons of agave. I was thinking about a kale salad I had in a restaurant that put candied pecans on it. I really liked the sweet flavor it gave to the bites that had pecans, so I was thinking maybe it was the sweet flavor I was liking. It worked; I did like it a little better. That's saying something as it is already a really good salad. A couple of tablespoons for that large a serving is not enough sweetness to make you feel like you're having a dessert. It just changes the flavor a little. Try it and see what you think...

There are no ataulfo mangos this week, and I'm very sad to see their season coming to an end. Good thing cherries from Washington are in this week to help comfort me. Wyatt asked me what my favorite fruit was today. I told him it was whatever was in season...

Some New Stuff

2009-06-23T00:04:00.007-04:00

All of the food we fixed on Friday for this week was sold, so I had to start over today. I had plenty of cashew cheeze to work with, so we had a lot of fun. First I had to make some things for customers who wanted items delivered today, but that was done by 8 a.m. Then I made more cheddar cheeze, vanilla yogurt silk, Queso Dulce, and cucumber salad. I decided to experiment with some cashew cheeze alfreda, but we haven't eaten it yet, so I'll have to report on that when we eat it.

Here's the recipe for the "pasta":

1 whole zucchini shredded
1 red pepper, julienned
1/4 lb carrot, shredded
a touch of basil
some parsley
enough alfreda to sauce the dish

I plan on sprinkling some pine nut parmesan on it when it is served.

The alfredo is cashew cheeze (2 c) mixed with 1 T lemon juice, 1 T Nama Shoyu, 2 garlic cloves, 1 t apple cider vinegar, an jalopeno, some salt and pepper.

One other cashew cheeze experiment was an olive sandwich spread to which some red pepper, an jalopeno, and some green olives were added. I don't know if green olives are raw or not, but I love them anyway, and they made this spread taste really good. I pulled some alicheezits from the dehydrator to spread it on. Wow! It was really good. I think it would be really good with sliced tomatoes on it as well when we use it for a meal.

My last experiment was for a grapefruit cocktail made with some delicious grapefruits we got for the market this weekend. I just mixed grapefruit juice with agave nectar and water. It was a delicious soft drink. 5 cups juice, 2 1/2 cups agave. Fill up the gallon container with water. Serve over ice.

I also put some Irish moss on to soak and made it into gel tonight. I filled up 4 pint jars with a 1/2 lb. of moss and had 3/4 cup left over. I couldn't resist trying a recipe for butterscotch pudding I have been dying to try, so I was glad that I had the almonds soaking that were needed for the almond mylk that is the basis. The recipe calls for "thick" almond mylk, so I interpreted that as 4 cups of water to 2 cups almonds, soaked, instead of the usual 8 cups of water. This made 4 1/2 cups of almond creme, of which 2 1/2 cups were used for the pudding with the 3/4 cup of Irish moss. Then I added 1/2 cup agave nectar, 1 teaspoon butterscotch extract (from Frontier - organic, no alcohol), and 1/2 a vanilla bean. It tasted great, but we have to wait for it to set-up to see how the texture works.

All the soaked almonds had had their 48 hours dehydrating time, so they came out tonight. We need to get more alicheezits going, but that will have to wait until tomorrow as I'm tuckered out, and Roger's tired of washing dishes (4 loads today!). I'm lucky to have him to help. He's a great sous chef.

Also enjoying the wonderful stone fruits that are in season: peaches, pluots, cherries, plums... does food get any better than this?

Cucumber Salad by the Ton

2009-06-21T10:34:00.007-04:00

Sorry I haven’t kept up; this has been a crazy week. Thursday I needed to drive to Alachua to pick up kale and cucumbers for our weekly orders of kale salad and cucumber salad. I decided to call Geri who is visiting from Utah to see if she wanted to ride with me. She agreed and probably got more than she bargained for. I don’t think she’s ever seen that much “country”. We finally found a park on our way home where we could stop for lunch, and we had a great romaine salad with no net tuna, cucumber salad, and ranch dressing. At least I thought it was great. She ate it all, so I’m thinking she must have liked it as well. It is hard for people to believe it has no meat products or dairy. They don’t expect it to taste good. As an aside, our branch president told Roger he had felt sorry for him having to eat this way until he saw how we ate the other night at the branch party. We really aren’t deprived at all.

I was thinking about that yesterday when I was asking how the cheddar cheeze went over at the market yesterday. (I was unable to go as I had a church assignment in Orlando.) I was wondering if I would eat it if I was still eating “real” cheese. I think our palettes have to adjust to eating differently, but it is not offensive in any way. We eat what we are used to eating. Things we are not used to seem strange to us. I guess the main difference is that once we get educated as the harmful effects of something, say coffee for example, we make an effort to find substitutes that are both palatable and not destructive. Once we realized that meat and dairy products were unsuitable for us, we were determined to find substitutes that we enjoyed as much or more that were plant-based. (Please read the China Study if you haven’t done so already. It really is one of the best scientific explanations for why we must change our way of eating culturally.)

Well, anyway, enough of the philosophical stuff. On to the goods! Friday we had some delicious Mac n Cheeze made with wonderful spiralized zucchini, cheddar cheeze sauce, and marinated mushrooms. Of course we had a delicious salad to go with it. We experimented with mixing our ranch dressing and avo mayo for a fantastic avocado ranch dressing.

Saturday was leftover no net tuna for Wyatt and Roger. Angelina and I just had regular salads with veggies. We had some nice cherries and grapes as well. Roger had his cucumber salad of course. He eats it every day if we have it. We had Queso Dulce for dinner with celery sticks. Darius and Alicia like to dip strawberries in their QD. Today I sent shredded zucchini and cheeze sauce for the after-conference lunch. They have the missionaries with them as well as Alicia’s mom. I made a couple of quarts of cucumber ranch dressing to go with all the carrot sticks we have. The cucumbers add a nice touch to it.

I am making a bunch more cucumber salad as Roger eats it by the pound. Since the name didn't come up with I put it in the labels, I guess I haven't posted how this is made. It is very simple. I don't measure any of the ingredients, so I can only tell you what goes into it: cucumber, onion, apple cider vinegar, raw agave nectar, and a pinch of salt. I also marinated some broccoli (Nama Shoyu, maple syrup, onion powder, jalopeno pepper, sesame oil) so that we could have broccoli soup (marinated broccoli and cheddar cheeze) for dinner. I guess I’d better get more cheeze started, but I can’t make the alicheezits from the rejuvelac that's ready as the dehydrators are both going full blast with soaked and sprouted almonds.

There were a lot of people asking for prepared foods at the market yesterday, but it is too hard for us to keep everything at the right temperature. We are asking everyone to let us know what they would like us to bring to them there as we can keep small quantities cold. New people came though who had heard about our stuff and were hoping to buy it. I’m sorry they were disappointed; we’re not sure how to get people what they want. We’ll keep working on it. ¡Viva La Verde! is definitely a work in progress.

Try It, You'll Like It!

2009-06-17T19:26:00.003-04:00

We had an unusual experience this week. There was a missionary preparation party we held for a young man going on a mission soon, and Alicia and I decided we would go ahead and prepare our raw vegan food for them. I was really worried that people might not like it, even though one of my favorite phrases is, "What's not to like?" Here's what we made for them:

Unfried no-beans served on a bed of lettuce
Ensalada
Guacamole
Salsa
Cashew Hemp sour creme
Corn chips

The avocados and cilantro were so amazing this week that we have been eating it all week long. We can't get enough of either.

The people attending all seemed to like the food very much including the Spanish people which was surprising. I guess you never know.

Leftovers are the Best

2009-06-14T21:40:00.006-04:00

For lunch today we had some beautiful strawberries left over from the market. I decided to make Wyatt's favorite: strawberry soup. This is just strawberries, a few raspberries to highten the flavor of the strawberries, some lemon juice, and agave to sweeten. I swirled a teaspoon of the vanilla yogurt silk on top. More delicious than you can imagine. We had waldorf salad left from the market, so that's what we had for our lunch. It was also very good. I love the avocado mayonnaise in there. Have I published the waldorf salad recipe? There's a tag for it, so I must have. The avocado mayo makes it better than the nut based one in my opinion.

Darius made some jalopeno poppers for dinner. These are just jalopenos split and cleaned of their membranes and seeds (for us wimps). Then we fill it with that good guacamole we made. I'll have mine on lettuce leaves, thank you. I do love the peppers, their flavor, but the heat is too much for me to eat more than one. Wyatt had the peppers stuffed with no net tuna and really liked it.

We finished off the night with some popsicles for FHE treat made from left over raspberry smoothies last week. I just wanted a juvie lemon shake. It hit the spot.

Pineapple Salsa

2009-06-13T21:24:00.004-04:00

We met a few people at the market today, but the highlight was seeing all of our "regulars" when they came to pick up their pre-orders. One of our new friends was talking about how frustrated she was that her son is eating so much bread when he has wheat allergies. He is only 6 and will not stop "sneaking" it when they go to church or other areas where it is being served. I told her what I had learned about grains and how they have opiates that cause people to be addicted to them when consumed in large amounts. She had not heard this before, but it was very helpful to me in learning to control my eating to understand the addictive nature of foods that I was craving. Once I could see them for what they were, foods designed to control me, I was able to overcome the urge to eat them. This does not mean that I do not still crave them occasionally (rarely, fortunately), but I know why that craving exists, and it has nothing to do with nourishment.

We talked about the emotional needs that create a dependence on any drug or substance and how even young children have that need. It is kind of scary to think about it.

Everyone liked the pineapple salsa (I think). Here's the recipe I used yesterday to make it:

Pineapple Salsa

1 pineapple cored and peeled and chopped
3 avocados, peeled and chopped
3 jalopeno peppers, seeded, and chopped finely
1/2 carton of sweet mini peppers (about 1 large regular sweet pepper)
1/2 large onion, minced
1 head cilantro, chopped fine
3/4 pound tomatoes, chopped

Mix all together and enjoy. This makes a large recipe. You'll need it! Everyone loves this, including the children.

One of our friends introduced us to the lychee nut. I have heard of this for many years and even seen them at markets, but since I did not know how to eat them, I had never purchased any. She gave us one of hers, so I went to another vender and bought some. They are really delicious. I'll try to u-tube how to eat them, but you just peel the skin off and pop it in your mouth. There's a large seed, so don't bite down too hard. The flesh easily separates from the seed.

Long, Busy Day

2009-06-13T01:03:00.004-04:00

We had a very long, busy day from about 7 a.m. until after midnight. You'd think we'd be able to pace ourselves through the week a little better, but maybe we will get better as we go along.

Our new recipes for the market were pineapple salsa along with guacamole and regular salsa. We also decided to do tuna. Alicia thought of a great name for it: "No Net Tuna". Isn't that clever? We made the regular kale salad, cucumber salad, raisin cheeze, ranch dressing, waldorf salad (along with little side salads), and honey almond butter. Alicia also pulled several trays of Alicheezits out of the dehydrator. We'll see how it goes tomorrow.

We sprouted some more buckwheat, made more alicheezits for the dehydrator, and Alicia got some alternate universe sunnies going as well. What's that about? Can you tell I'm a stick in the mud. I like things to stay the same...

We've been sprouting 2 cups of wheat every day to keep up with the need for juvie. I think we've caught up. When I got my grocery order today, they messed up and left off my cashews, so we're hard pressed for our cheezes until I can get another order next Friday.

Life is Good

2009-06-11T23:40:00.003-04:00

Today was a fun culinary event for me. The other day I had an inspiration for a recipe come into my head, and today I was able to create it. I don't do that all that often. I usually re-work other recipes that I try, and I'm pretty good at that, but this one, I actually came up with in my head.

I had been having some fruit with my other yogurt on it, and it was tasty and everything, but the consistency wasn't as good as real yogurt is. So I was trying to think of how to make it better. Then I was impressed to put irish moss in it which is the substance from which the food industry extracts carageenan (commonly used in ice cream - read the label). We've used irish moss in other applications with great results, but I hadn't used any in a while. I made some irish moss paste last week - I can't remember why. Oh yeah, Alicia had put it on to soak and left it there. We had to do something with it, so I made it up into paste.

Anyway, I decided to put some in my yogurt recipe, and I also added part of a vanilla bean. It was perfect, in fact, better than perfect! I loved it. I tried it out on the family tonight, and I think everyone enjoyed it. Here's the recipe, I think:

3 cups fermented raw cashews
1 cup irish moss paste
3/4 cup fresh lemon juice
1 cup honey (or to taste)
1/2 a vanilla bean

All of this is mixed in the blender. We had some nice blueberries left from the market, and I topped them with this mixture, and then sprinkled them with buckwheaties for some crunch. It is truly too good for words. It is one of those foods it would be very easy to overeat. I had some on a really ripe banana tonight, and it was perfect because the tanginess counteracted the oversweetness of the banana. Anyway, I think we'll take it to market Saturday for one of our samples.

I didn't get breakfast this morning because I got caught up in the recipe, and the next thing I knew was I had to leave for work. I was also making some Queso Dulce (that's our new name for raisin cheese). So no breakfast today even though Roger had food in the car on the way to the school visit. I guess I didn't feel like eating. I had 3 mangos before going to bed last night, so maybe I really wasn't in need of any calories anyway. No exercise this morning either, so it worked out all right.

For lunch I had marinated veggies over zucchini noodles with an alfredo type sauce along with a salad and avo soup. Then I made another avocado soup for dinner with one avocado, 2 stalks of celery, 1 huge cucumber, and 1 whole bunch of cilantro. We put some miso in there too. It was pretty tasty and not overwhelmed by the cilantro as you might think. It felt so vivacious and alive. (I feel silly saying that food feels like that, but I don't know how else to describe it. It is really amazing.)

After Alicia and I went to the gym, I cut up 2 pineapples for all of us. They were so sweet and delicious, it felt almost decadent. I think they put yogurt on their's, but I ate mine just the way it was with a few sprinkles of blueberries. Life is good. I feel bad that it takes food to make me feel like that. Driving home from the YMCA, we saw one the prettiest sunsets I have seen in a long time. Yes, life is good for more reasons than just wonderful food...

Planning for the Market

2009-06-10T20:58:00.002-04:00

I'm not doing too much cooking this week because I have a lot of work to do with school, but I did come up with some items that might be good for the market. We are committed to making 2 items for sampling each week, so we need to have enough product from the week before so that we have enough for sampling the next week. I made up a tentative schedule, but it will depend on what is available from the suppliers and the garden, and what is leftover. I guess we will figure it out after the market each week for the next week.

I was hoping to make a spinach alfredo, but the spinach is not in good enough shape for that to happen. We have mushrooms that would have been nice stuffed with it.

I think we will make a nice marinated broccoli to serve with shredded zucchini and marinated mushrooms with a marinara or alfredo sauce. Can't decide for sure. For the other thing, maybe we'll make some salsa to have with corn chips or something. Or maybe a lemon pie? or sunnies would be easy since it is a hard work week, and I haven't had much time to make stuff. Alicia made a whole batch of them this week, and I'm sure they're delicious. Of course, we always cut up produce for people to try as well, but we've had so many pre-orders, our table produce might be limited.

Anyway, the other thing on our agenda is the prepared foods that we prepare to have for customers. The honey almond butter went over well as did the ranch dressing. We have pre-orders for both of them as well as for the alicheezits and East Indian Sprouts. I think we'll make more kale salad even though we don't have pre-orders for it. It sold well. I was also wanting to make a pineapple salsa and some salads. I wonder if miso soup would go over well. Then we could use those gorgeous mushrooms. I want to make some guacamole as well. I ordered a whole case of avocados, and I am anxious to make lots of stuff with them.

So, even though I haven't been able to cook much this week, I've had fun thinking about what to prepare. It is kinda fun imagining what people will like, and there is a thrill to seeing them enjoy it. I've never felt like that before even though I've cooked a lot for others. They've always liked it, but I think this is more of a challenge because people assume they WON'T like it. They are surprised and delighted when they do enjoy it. I am getting a satisfaction from this that I didn't from preparing cooked foods. People expect to like that.

We were talking tonight about how we like not having to go to the grocery store anymore. We haven't been for the whole month. We just eat leftover produce! It is very cool. Our menus revolve around what is left, and we are eating like kings. (Raw vegan kings, that is. There probably haven't been a whole lot of them historically.) Fun stuff! It is a challenge to try to eat it before it spoils. We don't like to waste any of it because it is all so beautiful and delicious.

Smoothie Overload

2009-06-08T23:20:00.003-04:00

I know this is boring during our heavy work weeks, but there is still stuff going on. We are kind of in survival mode when we have to work a lot, but that's ok, because we need to see that it works for us whether we have a lot of time to prepare and be creative, or if we need fast preparations so that we can get on with our work.

Cucumbers are coming on in the garden. That is good news. They were really high last winter, and they are still expensive. They never recovered. The more of them we can produce for ourselves, the better. I suppose that is true for any food, but some things will always be more elusive than others. For example, herbs are always high. Speaking of which, the basil is also doing great. We cut some today, and it was so fragrant, it was almost heady.

Darius made raspberry smoothies for breakfast. I know he used greens in there, but I'm not sure which one(s). They were delicious. He went a little overboard, so we made sorbet with the leftovers. The raspberries we got at the market this week were really delectable. I'm not a big fan usually, but these were truly wonderful.

For lunch Alicia made us a delicious salad with some sea vegetables, cucumbers, heirloom tomatoes, and that wonderful romaine. We also had some more yummy cucumber salad. We still had ranch dressing. UmUmUm. Thank you, mother nature. I do love salads.

We served the ice cream as our FHE treat, and the children really loved it. I'm glad we have the ice cream maker for them. I don't think it would matter that much to us, but it seems to be important to them. We had enough smoothie left over to make some popsicles, so they can enjoy them tomorrow.

Alicia got the sunnies into the dehydrator today, and we did broccoli tonight. We are not sure how it is going to come out, but we'll see.

I pulled the tomatoes that were drying. I can never resist munching on them as I pack them. The dried sweet peppers were yummy too.

We're going into double time on the juvie. I'm not sure where we'll put it all. We don't have the refrigerator space for it. I guess we'll figure that out as we go along.

Watermelon Feast Day

2009-06-08T00:10:00.003-04:00

Today was fast and testimony day, so we did not eat until after our church meetings. We had some sugarbaby melons left from the market, so we had a wonderful watermelon feast. These were not as sweet as some I have had, but they were wonderfully hydrating after 19 hours of no fluids. They were tasty as well, just not the best I've had. Actually one of the 4 we cut open was delicious, the others were just okay.

Do we expect perfection each time we eat a fruit or vegetable? We had some cherries this weekend as well. Almost every one of them was an exquisite jewel of goodness. The few that weren't were a lesson in opposites. It helps us appreciate the good when we have something to which to compare it.

I had some of those cherries for dinner, and I will never cease to think of them in the off season. They are truly memory makers.

We also had some of Roger's salad left over from yesterday, so we had that. I think the children nibbled on fruit all day as well. It was a simple day.

Tonight I made some more rejuvelac for the week, started more wheat seeds sprouting, and used the rejuvelac that was ready for some more cashew cheese. The cashew cheese that was ready was used for some cheddar, some yogurt, and more raisin cheese. We needed to stock up! Our supply had diminished drastically! Can you tell we like this stuff?

We also packaged our finished zucchini chips and started more. Some of the heirloom tomatoes we had put in the dehydrator were ready, so we packaged them. We also cut up some peppers for the dehydrator along with a few more trays of zucchini and yellow squash. We have 2 dehydrators now going full tilt: 18 trays.

We started some marinated broccoli for some broccoli soup tomorrow. Everyone said they like the dehydrated broccoli texture better than the fresh for this application, so I guess we are going to start some broccoli drying tomorrow. Should be interesting. I got out my dehydrator book I bought when I got my dehydrator, and Alicia was able to find lots of other concoctions I had forgotten about. One is an herbal tea made from raspberry leaf. We have literally tons of that in our garden growing as a weed, so we will probably try some of that. I used the raspberry leaves in my juices last year, but I hadn't thought of them as a tea. Of course that makes sense. I think raspbery leaf is supposed to be a good blood cleanser. Sounds we have a new avenue to pursue.

Synergy in the Soil

2009-06-07T07:19:00.003-04:00

Met some more wonderful people at the market yesterday. (I forgot to write last night.) We feel very blessed that they find their way to the market so that we can meet them. There are so many venues for organic food these days (and man, isn't that an amazing blessing), that it is a wonder we get to connect with so many people seeking those choices.

We brought some of our concoctions to the market including kale salad and ranch dressing/dip as samples. They seemed to be a big hit. We also brought cucumber salad, honey almond butter, East Indian sprouts, zucchini chips, and banana bark for sale. We are wondering how we will keep up with the demand when we get a lot of customers. I guess we will deal with that when it happens. We know this is what we are supposed to be doing at the present time, and we know it helps people to have support when they are trying to change from destructive habits, so that being the case, He will help us do it just as He always has when He directs the path in which we are to travel. He never leaves us high and dry. We just can't imagine what that path might be. We are ALWAYS amazed at it when it does become evident.

One of the greatest benefits of this has been the wonderful produce WE are blessed to eat. When we were buying it at stores hit and miss, much of it was older and not as good. We are being blessed to eat the best possible food available to us right now, and I am so grateful for that. Some of it is so incredible, and I am so thankful to the growers that produced it.

Speaking of growers, Roger added 40 tomato plants to our farm yesterday. We will soon be swimming in cherry tomatoes, and that is a wonderful thing. Last year I would pick our tomatoes, bring them into the sink, and could hardly resist eating them as quickly as I washed them. Most of them never made it to a salad, sadly for Roger. He has no idea how wonderful they were! There was a sweet tangy thing going on, definitely yen and yang. I am salivating to think of them. I can hardly wait for this year's crop. In the meantime, I will enjoy other farmer's versions.

Saying that reminds me how personal and distinct each garden's output is. I don't believe any 2 gardens or farms produce could be identical. That is all the more reason to have a greengrocer who wants delicious produce as much as you do. I was thinking that at the market yesterday. So many people turn their nose up at organic. I can't even tell you how many people walk by and say, "Oh, that's organic...", and walk by as though it is something to be avoided as much as possible. The sign we have which designates us as organic is as much a detriment as it is an attraction. That is okay. It is the great divider. We don't want to force our idealogy upon anyone. We just want to help those who have come to believe it is important.

I am becoming more and more passionate about buying only those fruits and vegetables produced by farmers who care about their soil and the organisms they encourage to live there in a symbiotic relationship. I can tell by how a fruit or vegetable tastes how much effort was put into this. I know that sounds strange to some. There are even organics for which this is true. There are non-organic (conventional) foods in which I have tasted this, but it is rare, and not worth the chance since most conventional produce is mass produced with little thought put into the life of the soil.

Some farmers accomplish this unknowingly. I think of this when I drive through Hastings and see the silage growing. Farmers grow this as a way to enrich their soil the cheapest way possible, but it is also a great way to accomplish the synergistic relationship that makes for great tasting produce.

I have been thinking of how this is true of our food preparation as well. When we combine fresh, organic, and whole fruits, vegetables, nuts, and seeds into foods, we must keep this concept going. They must compliment each other. We must keep the synergy going. That is why some combinations are so delightful and others aren't. If we begin with foods that are substandard to begin with, we have little chance of coming up with something wonderful. When we use only great products, and feel what would go well together, we can't lose. I realize too, that what is good for me, may not be good for everyone, but apparently I have a pretty generic sense of this since most people like my preparations.

So no new recipes at the market this week, just some oldies but goodies. We are already excited about what we will be making next week: spinach alfredo stuffed mushrooms, caesar salad, and waldorf salad. We had the most beautiful romaine this week I have seen in a long time, and we can wait to make these delicious salads with them. Our celery was gorgeous too. Oh how blessed we are...

Change in Repetoire

2009-06-05T23:49:00.002-04:00

It's fun to take a lot of samples for people to try at the market, but we have decided it is a little too labor intensive for us this early in the game. We decided to bring 2 new recipes each week for people to try which highlights some sort of seasonal produce we've been able to get. Then we can have other prepared foods we've passed out samples for before if anyone wants anything. We'll see how it goes tomorrow.

This week we made some kale salad and ranch dressing, raw vegan style. Both are delicious. We have celery sticks to go with the dressing/dip. I've already posted both recipes, so nothing new there.

We had a delicious fruit salad for breakfast with some cashew yogurt. For lunch, because the children both "graduated" today, we went to Present Moment for lunch. They had a great corn chowder today for their special. Darius and Alicia liked the jalopeno poppers, but they were too hot for me. There was also a scampi zucchini pasta dish with a Caesar salad, but it was nothing too special. We did like the addition of sun-dried tomatoes to it. It was nice to see Yvette and Sandy again.

"Sufficient for Our Needs"

2009-06-04T20:43:00.003-04:00

Today it was Alicia's turn to forget something...she forgot the agave when she made her smoothies. Like I said, it is really hard to mess these things up. Darius said they were fine. I had watermelon. It was ok, but I am really looking forward to having one of the organic ones from Lady Moon Farms we will have at the market this weekend. All of their produce is top of the line.

We picked up our cherries today. They have been so outrageously priced, we have not been able to get any before today. They are still high, but this is the price they tapped out on last year. We bought some conventional ones last year, and they just aren't that tasty, so we held off getting cherries until we could get the organic ones. They seem hard to come by in general this year though. I haven't even seen any conventional ones at the market.

I have been thinking alot about why organic fruits and veggies taste better than conventional. (There is no doubt that they do. If you don't believe it, eat only organic for a couple of weeks, and then eat a conventional apple.) I believe it has to do with the life of the soil. When the soil is being nourished, there is a magical mix there, and all of the components are able to work together to make for a very desirable fruit or vegetable. Any other theories?

For lunch we had a delicious salad with romaine and heirloom tomato, cucumber, and alfalfa sprouts with some of the fantastic ranch dressing. I also sprinkled on some blueberries and capers. Yummy.

For dessert, we sliced up celery to have with the raisin cheese. Darius convinced me to try a banana with the raisin cheese, and that was good too. Seems like it combines well with all fruit. I had it with strawberries the other day.

Put some bananas in the dehydrator today. Alicia had some slices in there when I pulled something out of there, and they were so good, it motivated me to get more bananas in there. There is just too much good stuff to eat and not enough time to eat it!

We are going to pick basil and parsley and rosemary from our "farm" to take to the market this week. The basil is going crazy! Pesto time!

Messing Up is Hard to Do

2009-06-03T22:19:00.002-04:00

I made smoothies for breakfast, but I was in a hurry, so I forgot the juvie base. It was a very thick smoothie! It's really hard to mess this stuff up even when you're trying!

Worked many hours today, so I didn't have time for much cooking. Alicia made a salad for us for dinner to go with yellow squash noodles and cheddar cheeze sauce. The ranch dressing is so good it makes me want a salad every day.

Darius made a fruit salad for lunch with some of all our fruit we still had. It was delicious with some of our yogurt dressing.

We were making more juvie, of course, and this time I used 2 cups of wheat berries so we could make a bigger batch of Alicheezits. We decided to make our own version of the Greek seasoning. We looked on the bottle of the one we got from Penzey's and concocted our own ratio based on the listed ingredients: coarse salt, garlic, lemon, black pepper, Turkish oregano, marjoram. It smells really good dehydrating, so maybe we got it right.

Patterns

2009-06-02T22:11:00.003-04:00

Since we started a new work month today, there is not too much time for me to prepare food, so a lot of that fell to others. Darius made a mango milk shake for breakfast. Gotta love the mangos.

I had leftover kale salad for lunch with a lemonade. Good stuff. For dinner I was wanting a salad, so I made some ranch dressing from my giant bottle of cashew cheeze. After 3 1/2 quarts, there was still some cheeze, so I made 2 quarts of yogurt. I also started another bottle.

We are kind of getting in the groove with sprouting and fermenting. When I finish one, I start another. That seems to be a good pattern. I think it is essential to get some kind of pattern if you want to keep the food in your fridge that you want to eat.

Waldorf Salad

2009-06-01T22:56:00.004-04:00

We went to Jacksonville last night for seminary graduation and our granddaughter Brooklyn's 1 year birthday, so I was pretty beat last night when it came time to get the old quill out for record keeping. Let's see how much I can remember about yesterday...

I know we had a Waldorf Salad for lunch after church. This is one of my favorite salads, and we don't have it often. I'm not sure why. I guess we don't want to get tired of it...

I like to serve this salad over a head of lettuce.

Mix well in a mixing bowl:

1 cup of chopped apples
1 cup of chopped celery
¼ cup raisins
¼ cup walnuts (I use soaked & dehydrated walnuts)

Mix together and dress with the following mayonnaise:

Blend in a blender till creamy smooth:

1/2 cup water
4 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
2 tablespoons raw agave or honey
2 teaspoons sea salt

For creaminess choose one and add to the blender mixture, creaming well:
1 1/2 C chopped young coconut meat
1 1/3 cup raw cashews
1 ripe hass avocado

This mayo can be used as a sandwich spread or as a delicious dressing for any kind of salad. I've made it with each of the three "creamers", and they are all good. Just go with whatever you have on hand. I'm really into the avocado one right now.

Before church everyone munched on their fruit of choice, and you already know what I chose (mangos). After we got home from Jacksonville, I had some celery and raisin cheese after I ate some of the watermelon Alicia cut up for dinner. It wasn't a truly great one, but it was adequate and hit the spot.

Today Wyatt and Angelina made a fruit salad for breakfast. I took a picture but will have to post it when I have more time. More fruit for lunch for most of us, and then for dinner we had another kale salad, cucumber salad, and an save-the-tuna salad served over romaine lettuce with a tomato/pineapple/red pepper/onion/parsley salsa. It was very good. I made the above mentioned mayonnaise instead of the one I've made with it before. I think it was good. We had a dinner guest, Stephen Miracle, one of Darius' oldest friends. I think he liked it as well.

After dinner we had some delicious strawberries, some raisin cheese, and some more celery. Strawberries really taste good with raisin cheese, a little like that dip everyone makes with marshmallows.

Hale the Almighty Kale

2009-05-30T23:20:00.004-04:00

What a great day at the farmer's market! I can't believe all the really neat people we get to talk to each time we go. We especially like talking to the ones who have adopted a vegan lifestyle. There aren't too many, but we really enjoy the ones we do meet. We feel very connected to them.

Several of our customers have recommended we go to the Riverside Arts Market, so yesterday I submitted an application to it. I don't know if we will be accepted or not, but we will see. If we are accepted, 2 of us will go there, and the other 2 will stay at Beaver Street.

Darius and I took lemonade for breakfast, and then we had some grapes. I made kale salad before we left, so we had that for lunch. It was very popular amongst the people at the market. I think I posted the recipe for that on Thursday. We also had some pesto pasta I mixed up for us and the customers. It wasn't as popular as the kale. We took 12 heads with us and sold 10 of them! That is pretty amazing based on our past track record.

For dinner, Alicia made a salad. We haven't had too many salad meals lately, so it was very good. I love salad meals. She made kind of a Caesar-like dressing.

Getting Ready for the Market

2009-05-29T23:15:00.004-04:00

Today was a busy day preparing food for the farmer's market tomorrow. We like to have samples there so that people will have more ideas on how to get their fruits and veggies in every day. We also got our new supplier order in, and put together some pre-orders from that. We tried the new honey Elizabeth told us about from Wee Farms in Vero Beach. It is raw and organic and delicious!

For breakfast at seminary, Darius made lemon milkshakes which were delicious. He made us some more at home so that the kids and Alicia would have some too. We had been wondering how they would taste with greens added, so he put some spinach in it, and it was excellent. Not only did we have a wonderful, tasty breakfast, we felt good about it knowing we were getting at least a partial serving of greens. Another victory!

We snacked on fruit most of the day including delicious grapes, peaches, and mangos. Don, Alicia's father, came to visit her and tried some of our groceries and really enjoyed them. That is something coming from a person who doesn't normally eat like we do. He really liked the lemonade, the kale salad, and the "mac & cheese"; not so much the raisin cheese which is my favorite.

For the market tomorrow we packaged up some raisin cheese, honey almond butter, (celery to have with them), cucumber salad, pesto pasta, Alicheezits, and I can't remember if there was anything else or not.

For dinner we had the pesto pasta with marinated mushrooms. Side dishes were the delicious cucumber salad and a tomato salad made from grape tomatoes combined with the seasoned dried roma slices I made last week. It was pretty tasty. We're still tweaking our lemonade, and the batch we made for dinner was our best yet.

We're really needing to step up the rejuvelac production and are at various stages for 3 batches: 1 final stage of the wheat sprouts fermenting, 1 at the middle stage with the sprouts almost done so they can go into the juice, and one at the beginning stage where I just put the wheat on to soak for the sprouting stage. We also had a batch of cheese we started with some rejuvelac that just got finished today, so really we had 4 batches working at once. Because we pulled that batch, we were able to make a batch of crackers. We decided to call them Alicheezits (pronounced Ali like in Ali McGraw, and cheezits like the cheddar cracker with the main emphasis going to the "chee" syllable) since they are Alicia's creation and they taste like cheezits. The secret is Greek seasoning, so we are looking into making our own blend of it so that we can use organic ingredients. The crackers are really good, so we are going to have to figure out a way to make more of them which is tricky since they have to be "juvied" first. I am going to try to sprout 2 cups of wheat berries instead of one and see if it makes a difference. Never a dull moment around here!

Our final (for now) lemonade was made with 1 1/2 cups each fresh lemon juice and raw agave nectar, 2 cups water (to wash the agave out of the cup), all mixed in a half gallon container. Fill the container with rejuvelac. Serve over plenty of ice. Wow!

Feasting 101

2009-05-28T19:49:00.002-04:00

We had to leave early today for Jacksonville to pick up our produce order, so we grabbed some watermelon from the bowl Alicia fixed last night. It was a mighty fine breakfast.

We had fruit throughout the day as we travelled around Jacksonville: grapes, bananas, and mangos (of course) when we got home. Then we got out the preparations for our Spanish meal for dinner: refried no-beans, tortillas, hemp sour cream, and we prepared salsa, guacamole, and ensalada. It was truly a feast fit for a king.

Just a Bowl of ...

2009-05-27T22:30:00.004-04:00

For breakfast today, Darius suggested a fruit salad, and it turned out to be a very good idea. I mixed several ripe bananas with a small pineapple, some grapes, and an orange. There was some yogurt leftover from yesterday that was a nice dressing for it. Yummy!

I dug the kale from the weekend out of the fridge in the shed. Out of sight, out of mind. I had forgotten it was there. I had wanted to make a kale salad. It turned out to be very delicious:

Kale Salad

1 head kale, cleaned of stems, and sliced thinly
3 roma tomatoes, diced
1 avocado, diced
EVOO sprinkled around bowl
1 teaspoon salt
lemon juice sprinkled around bowl

Everything is mushed up together. The marinade helps break down the fibers so that it turns out to have a "cooked" texture and more digestible.

I had a small bowl full right after preparation, but the rest went into the fridge for dinner. I also had a few of my beloved mangos.

For dinner, Alicia shredded up some yellow squash. We topped it with some marinated mushrooms and our "cheddar" we made yesterday. It was the best "mac and cheese" I have ever had, cooked or uncooked. Served with the kale, it was a great meal. Some of us even mixed the kale into the squash, and that was delicious too. Again, a no-brainer!

We just finished up a small bowl of watermelon from a larger one Alicia was cutting up for the seminary students tomorrow. Life may be just like a bowl of cherries as our friend Forrest says. Or a bowl of watermelon...

No-Brainer, Really...

2009-05-26T21:48:00.007-04:00

Today was cooking day since it has been so long for one of those. Lots of things to catch up on. Lots of cheese waiting to be made. First I pulled off the zucchini chips. I get 1 oz of chips per pound of zucchini (!). Wow, huh? I started 7 more trays of them since we had a goodly supply of zucchini on hand from the market. We ate the whole 2 pounds as soon as I took it out of the dehydrator - yes, they are that good! I also put more soaked and sprouted almonds in so that I'll have plenty of almonds around for honey almond butter.

I also made 4 more tortillas out of some of the zucchini. It takes about 1 zuke to make a tortilla.

3c peeled zucchini
3T olive oil
2t lemon juice
Pinch cayenne
1t ground coriander
1/2t salt
1/2c flax meal*

• Blend all ingredients except flax meal in a high-speed blender until smooth.

• Add flax meal and blend again until smooth.

• Pour mixture onto 2 dehydrator sheets and spread evenly into a circle on each.

• Dehydrate for 8 hours at 105 degrees F, or until able to peel of the sheet.

• Once the dehydrator sheets are removed, return to the dehydrator for 30 - 60 mins, until both sides are dry to the touch but still pliable.

* Flax meal is flax seed that have been ground in a coffee grinder or similar, to produce a fine flour.

These are really tasty and are an excellent substitute for the heavy grain kind. We used some made yesterday for some burritos for dinner with "not fried no beans", and they were delicious. I also got my salsa groove on with another interesting salsa:

1 10 oz. bag frozen corn, thawed
2 avocados, diced
1 chopped sweet pepper
1/2 a pineapple, chopped up
1/2 a large onion, diced small
splash of lemon juice
salt to taste

This made a huge bowl that we ate as salad with some romaine on our "burritos". Good stuff.

Once the dehydrator was loaded up, it was time to make the no-beans and then tackle the cheese. First we made a small batch of yogurt to have with the blueberries. I just made the hemp sour creme and mixed in some honey and vanilla bean. Ummm Umm good. We had that tonight for our FHE treat we didn't get last night. Then we made several batches of "cheddar" since we use it for so many applications. I also started the broccoli marinating so we could have our broccoli cheese soup for dinner. After the cheddar, we finished up with raisin cheese, and then I put the package of mushrooms on to marinate so we could have it with out green spaghetti later in the week. I find mushrooms will hold better in marinade than in their plastic grocery store package.

I shouldn't neglect to mention that Darius made yogurt shakes for breakfast this morning. He wanted to try a spinoff of my lemon shakes. He made a cherry version which was delicious. It really is hard to screw this stuff up. It seems like a no-brainer! We snacked on the zuke chips and fruit the rest of the day until dinner.

Asian Night

2009-05-25T23:35:00.005-04:00

We worked very hard much of the day, so it was good that we began our day (after a few hours of light work) with the banana mambo. Our bananas are ripening fast, so that is another good reason to have this special breakfast. It's the bananas with almond honey butter on them, plus raisins and sunnies. Ummm, Ummm, good!

Our dinner consisted of zucchini shredded with peanut sauce. We also mixed in some shredded carrot, julienned yellow pepper, and julienned mango. It was great. We still had cole slaw and ensalada left over from the weekend, so Alicia mixed them into a salad with some romaine hearts. It was really good even though it sounded a little weird as we were talking about it. I'm a big fan of cabbage all of a sudden, I don't know why.

Mock Peanut Sauce

1 recipe almond butter (about 1/2 cup if you don't make your own)
1 1/2 T lemon juice
1 T maple syrup
1 T nama shoyu
1 t crushed garlic
1/2 t grated fresh ginger
dash cayenne
dash salt
water to blend (approx 1/2 cup)

lasts 5 days

In the dehydrator, I put 2 more pounds of zucchini rounds to see what the dehydrated yield would be. The tomatoes turned out perfect as did the other things from yesterday. I made some tortillas to have with the sunflower seed pate tomorrow. I have some cheese that needs mixing, but it's late, so I'll have to do that tomorrow.

Last night I made the honey almond butter, and everyone went crazy over it, so I am dehydrating soaked and sprouted almonds like nobody's business so that I can keep up with the demand. I was hoping to have some for the seminary kids tomorrow.

Sunday Must Have - Mango Salsa

2009-05-24T23:59:00.005-04:00

Let's see. Saturday we worked the market all day. The red flame grapes are wonderful, and we are all so glad to see them again after about 6 months with no grapes. I'm not a big fan of blueberries, but we got some very nice ones. I was going to make some parfaits, but we have very few left, so we'll see.

I had a lot of lemons left over, so I decided to try a tip I got from a dehydrator newsgroup. I sliced some up very thinly and dehydrated them on a teflex sheet. When we tasted the finished dry product, they taste like a lemon drop candy without the sugar. There is a small amount of sweetness there anyway. It was a very surprising discovery because I was going for a dried product I could whirl up in the food processor to make a lemon "powder". It will be fun to experiment with it.

I also put some sliced yellow peppers and zucchini in there. Today I did some tomatoes. I like snacking on these items, and the peppers work great in recipes - they add flavor to wet product without diluting it.

Last night we had our pesto on shredded zucchini. Oh my, that is good stuff. I have a pound of basil left over from market I am going to make into pesto. I'm excited to do a little more experimenting with it.

We are going to step up the rejuvelac production. We are using a lot of it - about a half gallon a day. I want to do some videos of that this week.

Today we made a delicious salsa for lunch that involved 1 yellow pepper, chopped; 2 mangos cut in small pieces; 1/2 onion, chopped; parsley; lemon juice; 1 cup corn; tomatoes, chopped, as desired for color and taste. It was fantastic! We used it as a filling with lettuce leaves or tortillas. We also had some ensalada which rounded our lunch out well.

Pizza!

2009-05-22T00:17:00.004-04:00

Shredded up 15 large onions for 9 trays of crispy onions. Tried our pizza tonight with the buckwheat crust, pesto, crispy onions, sliced tomatoes, and marinara. It was surprisingly good. (I had not expected to like it.) Actually it was delicious, and this is coming from someone who is not fond of buckwheat.

Made the no-fat milk shakes for everyone today, and it was a hit. No complaints. So the high fat versions are out the window. These really agree with me. Darius went on a juicing spree doing several quarts of every juice available, so we'll all be quite juicy for the next little while.

Too tired to post recipes tonight, but I'll get to them along with pictures soon. Things have been very hectic with the kids moving down, so I'm assuming things will get back to normal when we get all of that out of the way (whatever normal is).

More Experiments

2009-05-19T22:03:00.004-04:00

I'm getting tired, but I am trying to write every day. I have been working a lot yesterday and today, so I am not cooking or eating very much. Yesterday we made milkshakes for breakfast, and that is all I had to eat all day. They really do hold you all day.

I had put some caramelized onions in the dehydrator, and I had some of them when I pulled them out. They really are irresistable. Onions are sliced and mixed with their sauce made of 1 cup dates, 3 tablespoons nama shoyu and a little oil (2 tablespoons) plus 1/4 cup water. They can be dehydrated until they're soft representing a sauteed onion, or they can stay in a little longer to become crispy. I'm going to make some more for the market this week, so I'll try to post a video when I do that.

I have been thinking about the mylkshakes Wyatt likes to have each morning for breakfast. The only fat in them is the almond mylk. I don't know fatty it is, but I was thinking that the consistency of the shakes comes from the bananas, not the mylk. So this morning I only had 1/3 cup of almond mylk left, so I decided to test my theory. I made our morning shake with rejuvelac, lemon juice, agave nectar, and bananas (4 frozen and 2 fresh). It was very yummy, and I loved it. Roger and Wyatt didn't seem to know they were drinking anything different than usual. Of course, if you had both drinks sitting next to each other, I'm sure you would be able to tell the difference. The point is that they are both tasty, but one is significantly lower in fat which is a good thing when you are working with sweet fruit. Fat in the blood stream holds the sugar in the bloodstream instead of letting it do its thing. As the sugar remains in the bloodstream, problems can occur. (Check out 80-10-10 by Dr. Doug Graham.) The issue is not calories OR fat as much as it is on the ability of the sugar to be absorbed into the bloodstream. I'll give numbers after I get it figured out.

Besides my morning mylkshake, I had 3 mangos. I snacked on some of the zucchini chips and dried tomatos and of course, some crispy onions.

I started some buckwheat to sprout yesterday, so today I mixed up some pizza crusts. They are still dehydrating. I've never made them before, so I'll post the recipe after I see what they taste like. We had some beautiful basil at the market Saturday, so I decided to make some pesto to put on the pizza. It seems really nice, but again, I'll let you know. I've never had pesto very much, so it will be a work in progress.

I was making some rejuvelac too, so made some bread with the berries based on Alicia's recipe: sprouted wheat berries (leftover from 1 cup wheat, soaked, sprouted, and juvied), 3 to 4 tomatoes, 1 teaspoon salt, and Italian seasoning. Alicia's recipe used Greek seasoning. Anyway, it's in the dehydrator and will come out tomorrow.

That's it, we're done.

Stepping up

2009-05-17T22:59:00.005-04:00

Man, I can't believe how crazy this week was. I really want to record this each day, but I just couldn't get done early enough to do it. I put in 16 to 18 hours each day. I think I worked 20 hours one day. I try not to think about it, but this week is is kind of bugging me because I couldn't do some of the things that are important to me, like this blog.

Anyway, we got through graduation which is what was creating a lot of the stress. It was a great group of graduates.

Anyway, back to the food...

I have to start with today because I don't know where I left off before this, and I'm not sure how far back I can remember!

Today, no breakfast; not hungry. Not sure why as I had a "no fat" day yesterday which means not too many calories consumed. After church today I had 3 altaufo mangos, my new favorite food. Later after home teaching we pulled all the partial jars out of the fridge to get it cleaned out. Wyatt had his favorite: shredded zucchini with marinara. Roger cleaned up the crabby patties from last night, and I had some refried no-beans on lettuce leaves with salsa, sliced avocado, and hemp sour cream.

Last night after a long day, Roger and Wyatt had some crabby patties that I had fixed the day before. I whipped up some tartar sauce from the mayo I made for the un-tuna. I sliced up some dill pickles and some onion, and it looked pretty tasty. I made some cole slaw by grinding up a head of cabbage in the blender with water. I then strain it through a nut mylk bag. I also ground up a carrot. I made a dressing from apple cider vinegar and agave nectar with a little salt. It was delicious, and I ate several helpings of it. I had planned on having some of the dinner, but I was too full from the salad to eat anything else. I did drink a quart of rejuvelac lemonade:

1 cup lemon juice
1 cup agave nectar

Pour this into a half gallon container. Fill the container with rejuvelac. That's it. Darius and Alicia only half fill the container with rejuvelac, and then fill it with regular water. I like to pour it over crushed ice.

I had a glass of the lemonade for breakfast on my way to the market, and then I snacked on pieces of strawberries and oranges.

I had made some banana brittle to bring to the market, and I think everone who tried it really liked it. Many signed up for the newsletter and asked for that recipe in the next one. One guy asked me to assemble the recipe components for him, minus the bananas of course.

1 cup date paste
5 medium bananas
1/4 cup flax meal
2 cups shredded unsweetened coconut
2 heaping cups of walnuts chopped in the food processor

Blend the dates, bananas, and flax in the food processor. Pulse in the coconut and chopped walnuts. Spread this on 2 dehydrator sheets and dry until brittle. It can be dried less for a sweet pizza.

I promise to include some pictures when I get caught up.

Last week we had some of our case of zucchini and roma tomatoes left over. They were beautiful quality from Lady Moon Farms. I didn't want them to get even close to going bad, so I went ahead and sliced them thinly and dehydrated them. I love zucchini chips. In fact, I included this suggestion in our first newsletter sent out last week.

Crabby Patties are a big hit at our house. I've adapted the recipe we got from Present Moment, but theirs is a great recipe too. I think it is posted earlier in the blog.

I think that's all I've made this week with all the work. I need to come up with some new stuff. I'm now making the raisin cheeze by the gallon. Stepping up all of my recipes to accomodate 6 of us. What to make, what to make?

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-10T22:56:00.005-04:00

My experiments worked out pretty well. The peppers were terrific; I used some in the salsa today hoping it would absorb some of the water from the tomatoes. It had a nice consistency.

The "parm" tasted like parm, but the consistency was different of course. We haven't had an Italian dish to try it on, so we'll see how it goes.

The carmelized onions were amazing. I could make a batch of them everyday if I had time. They were a delicious snack. We never got far enough to have them on a dish. I am anxious to try them as a pizza topping.

The breads were fine. Wyatt will enjoy them. The tortillas got left in all day as I had to work in Jacksonville, and I think they would have been nicer if we could have pulled them while they were still flexible. They had a nice flavor. I haven't used them in a meal yet. I forgot to bring them out for the Mexican meal at lunchtime.

We had a lot of parsley left over from the farmer's market as we had to buy a whole case, so I started dehydrating it when I pulled the other stuff out today. One bunch went on a tray. It worked out nicely because I used the last of my dried parsley on Friday. It is a very nice product. We actually used it to make our ensalada today since we didn't have any cilantro, and it was delicious.

Our dinner today:

Living Tacos made from refried no-beans on romaine lettuce leaves
salsa (roma tomatoes, onion, dehydrated red peppers, salt, garlic)
guacamole
hemp sour cream
ensalada (shredded cabbage, parsley, lemon juice, salt)

ears of corn

Happy Mother's Day!

Experiments Gone Wild

2009-05-08T18:07:00.007-04:00

I'm getting too confident in my experiments. I have never been this fancy free in my cooking. I hope this craziness stops! I don't like the unstructured chef in me...

I've got the dehydrator loaded with a hodge-podge of experiments - well, some of them are tried and true, but there will be a few surprises when the rest comes out. I've got my fingers crossed that they will be pleasant ones.

First, the almond meal went in after I made almond milk this morning. That's no surprise. We have been using it, so we don't have a backlog of it like we did. I am really grateful we found ways to use it as I hated wasting it. We made lemon smoothies as that is something we can take in the car with us.

Secondly, I decided to make some tortillas out of the squash scraps Roger always has after he spiralizes "spaghetti" noodles out of it. There are 1/2 inch chunks that won't go through the machine. He always puts them in the fridge, and I usually throw them out after they go bad. I remembered that I had read about making tortillas out of squash, so I thought I'd give it a go. I poured the squash remnants into the blender with some olive oil, lemon juice, salt, and flax meal. We'll see what pops out.

My last batch of rejuvelac was ready, so I had some berries to process into "banana bread". I think it's kind of nappy, but Wyatt loves it, so he will be glad to see it when he gets home. Roger has been hiding his bread from him, so he hasn't been eating as much, but it is building up too much. I guess I shouldn't make so much.

Then I decided to try a real experiment: rejuvelac "parmesan" made from soaked pine nuts. I mixed in some lemon juice, rejuvelac, salt, and some pizza seasoning, blended it up, and poured it on the teflex. It smells good, but I don't think it will be the right texture. I don't know what we'll do with it. We'll decide when we see how it turns out.

My last dehydrator experiment is "caramelized" onions. I mandolined 3 large onions. In the blender I mixed 3 T nama shoyu, 2 T olive oil, 1 cup soft dates, and enough water to make it blend (about 1/3 cup). Then I just mixed the date paste with the onions and spread them out on the teflex sheets to soften. I guess I need to think of something to eat them with.

I think I'm going to whip up a few dips to take to the market tomorrow as I plan on cutting up some fruit and veggies to share with the passer-bys. I think a lot of people do not realize that organic fruits and vegetables taste different. How are they going to find out if we don't let them try some? Of course, we'll need some dip or something for the zucchini slices, etc. We have lots of cabbage; I wonder what I'll figure out for that... Hopefully I'll be able to post my results, and hopefully they will be positive!

Roger had his first rejuvelac lemonade today; I think he liked it! I guess that will be a keeper.

We stopped taking "bad" food to seminary, and the students have been eating "our" food for the whole week. I took raisin cheeze and apple slices a couple of days, and we had the "peanut butter and jelly" apple slice thing with almond butter and raisins. Roger also gave them bananas once or twice. One day he took apples, and they didn't take any, so that's when we figured out we needed to slice the apples for them. They want their breakfast "fixed" for them! Anyway, they seem to be surviving it ok. They don't miss their processed foods at all (I don't think). This is more work though...

New Uses for Old Friends

2009-05-07T21:56:00.006-04:00

Not much eating or cooking going on this week as we have been very busy setting up a produce business where we sell organic produce at the Farmer's Market in Jacksonville. We had students today, our opening day, so were unable to be there, but Darius said there was a lot of interest in someone bringing organics there. There are a lot of venders who do not believe people will pay the extra money required for organics, and in this economy they may be right. We'll see. We have felt prompted to do this at this time, so we will see where it takes us. Here are some pictures Alicia sent me of opening day.

I decided to start making the cashew cheez in gallon batches since I do so many things with it, so I got my rejuvelac made and started a batch yesterday. It starts with 2 quarts of cashews. I also decided to try the rejuvelac lemonade Darius and Alicia told me about. It is kind of weird tasting, but somehow very enjoyable. I like it! It is a great way to get a sizeable amount of probiotics into our system as compared to cheezes which have a lot of fat and are not as digestible as the lemonade. I drank a quart of it for breakfast with no ill effects. I also had several glasses for my dinner last night and had no problems sleeping indicating no digestive upset. So that is good news, I think.

To make rejuvelac lemonade, I mixed 1 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice with 1 cup agave nectar. Then I filled the half gallon container with rejuvelac (instead of water). Easy, easy.

For lunch yesterday, we shredded up several summer squash (called cousca, I think Jeff said), and mixed it with marinated mushrooms. We should have taken a picture of it as it was a very attractive dish. Then we added cheddar cheeze as a sauce individually. I think Angelina ate it without any sauce, and she liked it.

I was inspired by Alicia's salad dressing to try one today outside my usual comfort zone. I had some soaked pine nuts, added the juice from 3 lemons, several spoons of garlic, several spoons of miso, a sprinkle of nama shoyu, and enough rejuvelac to turn the blender blades. It was quite tasty although I still like the ranch better. It is nice to have variety though. I think Alicia's tasted better too, so maybe she used more miso or salt or herbs. I'm not sure...she's holding out on the recipe.

We made 2 pies over the weekend. Sorry I couldn't get here to post about them. Maybe next time. Things have been incredibly crazy this week with all that is going on.

When Life Gives You Lemons...

2009-05-02T20:18:00.004-04:00

With everyone off and running early this morning, everyone was on their own for breakfast. I had a banana and then some celery with raisin cheeze. Alicia made a salad for lunch, and we had our ranch dressing made with cashew cheeze. It was quite tasty.

For dinner I made some miso soup:

finely minced spinach
1 carrot sliced very thinly
dried shitake mushrooms

These 3 ingredients were put in 1 cup of warm water per serving to rehydrate the mushroom which was then thinly sliced. 1 tablespoon of miso is mixed with 2 additional tablespoons of warm water (per serving), and the vegetable combination is then mixed with the miso blend. It was a little bland, so I may go with more miso next time along with a little less spinach. The children liked it a lot though which surprised me, so maybe bland is good with them.

I made more patties today, so we'd have food tomorrow, and took a quart of corn out to thaw for the mashed cauliflower we'll have with them. I tried to make my sunnies, but they were very weird looking, so I threw them out. I tried to wash them for a long time, but I was worried that they would make someone sick. One thing about fresh food: it is easy to tell when it is not spot on. (One clue should have been the other day when the tray on top of them was warm as though they were composting.) I had already mixed up some garlic and chili powder and had some more sunflower seeds soaking, so I just used them to make a small batch. I had intended them for some refried beans. They don't take long, so I just started some more; they'll be ready by the time we need them. I needed some sunny mixture to make the patties, so I used some of the dried sunnies instead, and I'm sure that will work out just fine.

We have lots of lemons now, so we're having lemonade. I really enjoy it, but we don't have the luxury of extra lemons all that often. We need to make it when we have them. The recipe is easy: 1 cup lemon juice, 1 cup agave in a 1/2 gallon container. Fill with water. Serve over ice. I'll experiment with some other fruits in the summer time.

Marketing the Market

2009-05-01T22:59:00.004-04:00

For breakfast today we had a delicious strawberry soup as given to us from Chef Tracy at Glaser Farms:

1 pint large fresh strawberries
1/4 cup fresh or frozen raspberries
5 large dates, chopped and soaked in OJ for 4 hours
1 cup fresh orange juice
2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice

Blend all in the blender til smooth. I spooned some of last night's "yogurt" into it as a garnish.

We made a large batch of untuna from some sunflower seeds we sprouted earlier this week. I still haven't made my sunnies, but I need to get them on tomorrow.

Tonight I was experimenting with my cashew cheeze and substituted it into my ranch salad dressing recipe. I wasn't hungry so didn't taste it, but it got rave reviews from everyone else. They made quite a feast of it with some broccoli spears and celery sticks. I also made a batch of "cheddar" from the remainder of the cashew cheeze. I discovered yesterday that we still had a nice patch of parsley in the garden, so I got that to use in the recipes. Nice touch!

I also ate a banana today and 2 of my beloved mangos. I do look forward to the mango season every year.

We decided today that we would try to make a run of introducing the Jacksonville Beaver Street Farmer's Market to organic produce. We have talked to the venders there, and many of them fear people won't pay the extra price for organic produce, and it doesn't really matter anyway. I believe very strongly in using organic when it is available. One of the most amazing things to me about it is how much different it tastes. I love the flavor of organic, in most cases, much more than conventional produce. There are some foods I won't even consider buying conventional for the taste factor alone including: strawberries, bananas, apples, grapes, lettuce, celery, and cucumbers. How a fruit or vegetable is grown definately affects its flavor, and I have to assume its nutritional value as well. There is still a lot we don't know about this aspect of horticulture.

We are experimenting with our garden this year of putting as much living soil into our grow boxes as possible to see if it affects the quantity and quality of the produce grown. We are anxious to see if it helps it to ward off viruses and funguses so prevalent over the summer here.

Our goal at the farmer's market is to educate the public re: the importance of eating more raw, fresh, organic (when possible), fruits, vegetables, nuts, and seeds. We are going to distribute literature and have samples of foods we like. We cannot prepare and sell these foods without a lot of permits, but we're not sure that's the direction we're supposed to be going anyway. Our thing has always been education, and this new aspect of our lives isn't any different. So, we hooked up with a couple of organic producer and/or distributors today, and we are hoping to start next weekend. See you at the market!

Last of the Citrus

2009-04-30T21:25:00.007-04:00

We had a busy work day today, so I hit the ground running. Roger made me a delicious grapefruit orange juice so I'd have something in my belly. For lunch we had a watermelon we'd picked up at Costco, but it wasn't as good as the one we got at the farmer's market last week. Then for dinner, Darius and Alicia got to our house late with Angelina. I mixed up some taco soup (cheddar cheeze with salsa mixed in topped with hemp sour cream and avocados) and a fruit salad: 1 pineapple chunked up, 1 orange sectioned, 1 quart of mango, 6 bananas, some dried coconut, and some raisins.

I made a sauce out of some hemp sour cream mixed with honey. It was very filling. We served it on some romaine leaves.

Theories and Suppositions

2009-04-29T20:31:00.003-04:00

We were away from home during the breakfast hour, so Roger packed apples and bananas to have in the car. I like bananas best when they are not overly ripe, although I know they are sweeter when they are riper. I like to freeze them or use them in the banana brittle recipe when they are really ripe as they add the necessary sweetness to the recipe.

I did a little experiment with the almonds I bought at the co-op yesterday. There has been this big toodoo about pasteurizing almonds making them not raw anymore (like a pasteurized juice is not raw). I heard that the pasteurization of almonds takes place before they are hulled and is an effort to kill all the e-coli bacteria that are on them before they are shelled. I was thinking this might not be enough heat to actually kill the nut inside the shell, so I decided to try to sprout the ones I got from the co-op which I am pretty sure were pasteurized. Lo and behold, they sprouted just fine, so my theory, I believe is correct. The almond is still alive inside the large hull, and would therefore, still have its enzymes intact. Yay!

So I have been soaking and sprouting almonds and walnuts and cashews and have had them in the dehydrator this week. I need to put the chili-garlic sunflower seeds in tomorrow as they are sprouted, but I don't have any room until the other nuts come out. The cashews were done dehydrating today, so I curried them, and they will spend another day in there.

One of the things in my order yesterday that I was out of was my hemp seed, so I made a quart of hemp seed sour cream today. Man, is that tangy and good! I think the hemp helps it be creamier and not as chalky as cashews by themselves. I'm thinking it will be a great base for a cheesecake, so I am going to experiment with that with some irish moss.

We still had a pint of refried no-beans, so I made a large batch of salsa and sliced some avocados to have living tacos using romaine leaves as the shell. With the sour cream, it was a meal fit for a king. I can't eat that too often. I think I could eat it everyday, and that is unusual for me.

We all had fruit for lunch earlier in the day; mine was some of those lovely honey mangos. I feel as though I've died and gone to heaven when I eat them. Surely the golden gate is surrounded by honey mango trees. Wyatt ate 4 oranges and a bunch of apples. Roger had his banana bowl. It is funny how we all have our favorite fruit and it is different from everyone elses.

Well, that was our day. Totally delish.

2009-04-28T21:00:00.003-04:00

Not a very exciting menu options day. We had mylkshakes for breakfast at Wyatt's request. I think he would have that every day if we let him. We used fresh bananas as we had a box about empty, and we still had to freeze a few so they wouldn't go bad. We'll use them soon enough.

We had to pick up quite a few supplies including our co-op big order: 25 lbs each cashews, almonds, sunflower seeds, coconut, 30 lbs red flame raisins, 15 lbs dates, 4 more gallons agave, himalayan salt, cumin, curry powder, hempseed, and some frozen strawberries. We also got another case of bananas at Native Sun and a case of golden delicious apples at Whole Foods. We also got some fresh strawberries, kiwi, and raspberries for one of Roger's favorite pies. We picked up another case of those wonderful mangos, a beautifully fragrant pineapple, a huge knob of ginger, and some more tamarindo. We also made a stop at Costco for avocados, oranges, pine nuts and walnuts, olive oil, more garlic, and a watermelon. So there might not have been too much in the way of menus today, but that's a bird's eye view of our eating for the coming week(s). yummmmmm

After the shopping, we had a cooler full of fridge stuff that we took to the park to eat with Darius and family. This was stuff we had fixed over the weekend: leftover alfreda, marinated mushrooms, refried beans, sour cream, untuna, raisin cheeze, sunlight patties, cucumber salad, pickles, cheddar cheeze, plus celery, lettuce, and tomatoes to eat it with. Everyone chose their own combination, and it was tasty, at least for me. I had refried beans and sour cream on lettuce tacos with tomatoes. Of course I couldn't resist raisin cheeze with celery for dessert. The grandbabies don't like the raisin cheeze, but that doesn't bother us at all (as in "more for us").

Menu Planning?

2009-04-27T18:59:00.002-04:00

We had bananas mambo for breakfast since our bananas are turning fast. I made the almond butter from some almonds dehydrating that had been soaked and sprouted. It made a very nice butter. I mixed it with some honey, 1/2 a vanilla bean, and some cinnamon and dipped it on some bananas. We topped that with raisins and spiced sunflower seeds. It was quite tasty.

For lunch we had some of our leftovers. I mixed the leftover alfredo sauce with some coconut water to thin it, then topped some corn and marinated mushrooms to make some kind of soup - I have no idea what kind! Mushroom corn chowder? Nevertheless, it was tasty. Then Roger had the leftover Crabby Cakes with some sauce leftover from salmon, a lemon caper sauce. I had some of the refried beans and sour cream on lettuce leaves. Wyatt had his usual selection of corn chips.

It is interesting to me how easy it is to use leftovers on this dietary plan. I have always tried to use my leftovers creatively, but it was work. I find this very easy. It is like everything goes with everything else. There aren't any bad combinations. If it sounds good, it probably is. Even when it doesn't sound particularly good, it might be. You just have to take a chance. The point is, very little has to go to waste. My biggest problem is that I will buy something thinking I will use it and then decide not to prepare it. Eventually it will go bad. I have a real problem with cole vegetables. I just don't like them very much, but I know I should make them. At least 1/2 the time they go bad and then I don't have to make them; problem solved! A better solution would be to not buy them in the first place. An even better solution would be to make up menus including those vegetables and develop the discipline to actually prepare them. Actually Wyatt made the suggestion today to make up menus. His mother always did that, he said, and then they always knew what they were going to be eating. He really doesn't like not knowing what's for dinner. In all honesty, I don't know until I get in the fridge and start stirring things up. I don't know why I'm like that. It's better to do it the other way, I suppose. I guess that is one of my many faults. I'm not working too hard to overcome it though.

2009-04-26T23:58:00.003-04:00

Before church, I slid a mango down. I love the new kind we found this year. After church, I had a few more. There is nothing better than a nice, ripe mango.

The kids were coming over for dinner, but I got hungry about 4:00, so I made some yogurt up out the cashew cheese by mixing in some honey and lemon juice. I poured it over some pineapple and banana. It was delicious.

When the kids got here, I made up some mango lassis: 2 cups almond milk, 1/2 cup agave, 2 cups frozen mango, and 8 teaspoons lemon juice. Nice appetizer.

Then I made up some tartar sauce for the crab cakes (just some dill pickle diced up and mixed into the un-tuna mayo along with some onion). Then I sliced up some baby cukes into a vinaigrette made from apple cider vinegar, agave, and a touch of salt and dill. We also had some corn I cleaned up and mixed with lemon juice, EVOO, and dill (just a light sprinkling). Topped off with sliced tomatoes, and we had a lovely meal.

We talked about the foods for this weekend, so I put some cashews on to soak for the curry cashews. I also put some soaked almonds in the dehydrator as I would like to make almond butter from soaked and sprouted almonds to see if they are different. A soaked nut would always be preferable to an unsoaked one as the enzyme inhibitors are present in unsoaked nuts. To make almond butter, the soaked and sprouted nuts would have to be dehydrated to insure the nut butter is stable (oil and water don't mix!).

Marathons Come in Various Forms

2009-04-25T17:05:00.003-04:00

We had lemon milkshakes for breakfast. Angelina was pretty excited about that. It was kind of like dessert for breakfast!

2 cups almond milk
1/2 cup lemon juice
1/2 cup agave
4 cups frozen banana pieces
2 T coconut oil

We had a marathon cooking session today. We learned to make a crab tasting patty at Present Moment. I call them Crabby Patties. I've adapted the recipe a little bit.

About 3 cups coconut meat in the food processor with 2 stalks celery, 1 small red pepper, a few green onions, 2 tablespoons Old Bay seasoning, 1 tablespoon lemon juice, and about 1/4 cup mayonnaise. (I used the mayonnaise I use with the un-tuna).

I grind some dehydrated corn in my wheat grinder and mix some into the coconut mixture until it thickens up a little. Then I put a scoop of the mixture in the corn meal and "bread it". I then dehydrate them for a couple of hours. These are quite delicious.

We then made my version of the Sunlight Burger, my favorite of which is the burger sold at Present Moment. I don't know their recipe, but this is how I make it.

2 cups of almond pulp left from making almond milk
2 cups sprouted sunflower seeds
1/2 cup pine nuts
2 1/2 cups soaked and dehydrated walnuts

about 6 mushrooms
a few stalks of celery
4 carrots
1 onion
6 cloves of garlic
nama shoyu
pepper to taste
handful of parsley
1 tablespoon ground cumin

I like the texture derived from running this through the juicer with the blank plate. We then scoop 2 scoops on the teflex for each patty. We then smooth it with the spatula to make a patty shape. Then I dehydrate for a few hours and turn it out on the mesh to finish dehydrating. These are good if you don't dry them all the way through leaving them a little mushy on the inside.

I had some wheat berries leftover from making rejuvelac, and once I got the corn chips out of the dehydrator, I was able to put the wheat berries through the food processor with some banana and cinnamon and a spot of salt. This is smoothed out on a couple of teflex sheets and dehydrated several hours until they can be turned over on the mesh. We call it "banana bread".

We also made some refried no-beans to have with the corn chips sometime next week.

We had the taco soup we invented the other day for lunch. This involved combining the cheddar cheeze with leftover salsa. It was delicious and a tad spicy which was nice. The cheeze needs to be thinned with water (or coconut water or rejuvelac). We had corn chips with the soup and celery with raisin cheeze for dessert.

The Earth's Bounty

2009-04-25T08:12:00.006-04:00

For breakfast on Friday (I forgot to update last night) we had a delightful low fat smoothie, 1 cup coconut water, 2 cups frozen sweet cherries, 2 bananas, 1/2 a vanilla bean, 2 tablespoons agave, pinch of salt, and 1/4 cup cacao nibs. I think I would like it without the cacao just as much. It was very nice. This is from Everyday Raw.

We made a double batch of corn chips for the weekend and put cashews on to soak for our multiple kinds of cashew cheeze.

I was famished by the time we drove to Jacksonville later in the day. The oriental market had called to say our 3 cases of Thai coconuts were in (we get them for 3 families), and I couldn't resist the lovely looking case of mangos that was calling my name. They also had ripe pineapples which is unheard of. They are almost always unripe anywhere I see them. They were so fragrant, I had to buy one of them as well. Never shop hungry! I also bought a package of tamarindo pulp to make for my Thai wraps.

As soon as we got to Darius and Alicia's house (we were picking up Angelina to spend the weekend at our house), I ate a mango and sliced up 2 more for others who might be hungry. It was so good, and I love how the juice feels running down my hand. There is no more wonderful fruit than the mango in my opinion (although the watermelon is a very close second). How blessed we are with the bounty of the earth. It truly is a garden of Eden even with its difficulties.

We had packed a lunch to have in Jacksonville of some leftovers from earlier in the week. We also had some dehydrated broccoli I had marinated (since I didn't have any fresh broccoli). This turned out to be a huge hit as it added another dimension to our "primavera". We also shredded some additional Cousa squash we got from our Gainesville CSA guy. It makes a nice substitute for zucchini which can be hard to get. I had also made some Alfreda sauce which also made a nice salad dressing when mixed with the marinated mushrooms and broccoli. It tasted kind of like a creamy caesar dressing.

Alfreda sauce

1 cup cashews soaked
1 1/4 cup water
1 T lemon juice
2 t nama shoyu
1 1/2 t garlic
1/2 t apple cider vinegar
1 1/2 t nutritional yeast
pinch cayenne
1/8 t salt, pepper

blend well in the blender until creamy. Serve over shredded zucchini. It is also nice as a "primavera" over shredded zucchini, carrot, red peppers with some herbs sprinkled in. I like marinated mushrooms and broccoli too. Do we eat well, or what? I feel very privileged and grateful. I know it is not that way for most people.

When we got back from Jax, I strained some sprouted wheat off the rejuvelac I had started earlier in the week, and it was ready to make cashew cheeze. I'll get some of that mixed up today hopefully after it is finished fermenting. I also need to mix the leftover rejuvelac wheat berries with some banana for Wyatt's favorite banana bread.

Alicia invented a new bread as well. She sprouted some lentils and mixed them with her wheat berries left over from making rejuvelac and dehydrated them. It was surprisingly tasty. I actually like it better than the wheat berries straight.

Smashed Bananas

2009-04-23T22:07:00.003-04:00

Nothing fancy today. We had chocolate milkshakes for breakfast at Roger's request. Of course, Wyatt was delighted as those are his favorite. Then we had smashed bananas with almond butter mixed with honey, and added some raisins and sunnies. That's all I've eaten today, and I think the guys had some leftovers.

Experimenting

2009-04-22T20:09:00.003-04:00

We made mint juleeps for breakfast today: 1 cup lemon juice, 1 cup agave nectar. Mix in blender with 1/2 a bunch of mint. Fill blender with ice. After this mixed, add a couple of shots of wheat grass juice. Very nice and healthy too!

I had also put some orange zest in some agave on Monday to "candy" so that I could make a recipe in Everyday Raw called "Creamsicles". They really did taste like the creamsicle ice cream delicacy. I didn't make them into popsicles though. I ran them through the ice cream maker. They are made with 1 1/2 cups coconut meat, 1 cup water, 1/2 cup orange juice, 1/2 cup agave, and 1/2 cup coconut oil. After this is liquified, the candied zest of 6 oranges is stirred in. This can be poured into popsicle molds also.

We also put 1 gallon of raw sunflower seeds in the dehydrator. We started these soaking on Monday (16 cups), and drained them. Then they have been sprouting for about a day and a half.

This is a large amount of seeds, so we divided them up into 3 sprouting trays. For each tray we minced a cup of garlic cloves (in the little bowl of the food processor of course), and mixed this with 2 tablespoons of chili powder and 3 tablespoons of sea salt. After the seeds are coated with this mixture, we divide it up on 3 dehydrator sheets. So the whole batch makes 9 trays, and we have 2 cups leftover to make burger patties tomorrow.

Dinner was leftover Mexican from yesterday. Still fantastic! I also started marinating some dehydrated broccoli (from Walton) to see how it freshen up. I want to see if it will rehydrate sufficiently for the soup or the pasta primavera recipe. I'll post the results tomorrow.

I don't think we posted about the mixture of leftover salsa and cheddar cheeze. I didn't have any, but Darius and Alicia said it was really good. They used some of the ensalada as garnish.

Happy Birthday, Trae

2009-04-22T00:14:00.005-04:00

This morning we made mylk shakes as a little treat since we had company. They were delicious, and the children really loved them. It is so nice to have a non-dairy treat like that. They are so light and satisfying. The ones I usually make start with an almond mylk base:

I always soak the almonds I make into mylk. I store them in pint jars, so I just empty a pint jar into a quart mason jar and fill it with water and stick it back in the fridge. I always have 2 quarts soaking as I use the soaked almonds for a lot of different things. As soon as I use one, I empty another pint and make a new quart. I hope that makes sense.

Anyway, I empty one of the quarts of soaked almonds into a colander and rinse them really well. Today the skins were wanting to come off, so I "blanched" many of them. I put 1 quart of water in my blender and add the rinsed, drained almonds.

After thoroughly blending, I the mixture through a nut mylk bag into a large bowl, and rinse blender with another 4 cups water. I added the contents of the bag back into the blender to make sure we got all the almondy goodness we could. This is blended again and poured through the bag again. Of course, the pulp is stripped of as much liquid as possible. The pulp is put on a dehydrator sheet and dried to be used later.

The original pint of almonds results in a 1/2 gallon of almond mylk plus some pulp to use for burgers or a pie crust.

To make the mylk shakes, we freeze really ripe bananas on a cookie sheet just before they are too ripe. These are placed in quart jars in the freezer. I use one quart jar of frozen banana chunks with 2 cups of almond mylk, 2 tablespoons coconut oil, 1/2 agave nectar, and whatever flavoring we want. Today we used 1/4 cup each carob powder and raw cacao along with a dash of cinnamon. I also really like lemon flavored ones where I add a 1/2 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice.

Very yummy.

For lunch we had the cheddar cheeze made into soup again, this time with some dehydrated spinach flakes. I fermented a triple batch of cheeze yesterday, so I mixed it all together today for use during the week including the soup. It just has to be thinned a little bit for use as a soup. Rejuvelac makes a good thinner, but since I was out today, I had to use water. We also had some tomato "sandwiches" on sprouted wheat crackers with some mayo again.

For dinner, I was giving a party for one of my seminary students who turned 18. I decided to go Mexican and made the corn chips Wyatt likes so much. I also made some "refried" no-beans, ensalada, salsa, and guacamole. I pulled out some of the sour cream from last week's cheeze frenzy, and added a little bowl of the cheddar made today. It was truly a feast meant for a king. I loved it.

Ensalada is something from my old way of eating that the Mexican sisters at church taught me to make. I had forgotten about it when I abandoned my cooked Mexican dishes, but I was thinking today that it would be a very tasty addition to our Mexican dinners. It is simply shredded cabbage mixed with a little sea salt, cilantro, and lime or lemon juice. I love it!

Everyone makes their own version of salsa and guac. Mine aren't anything special beyond the deliciousness of the wonderful ingredients going into them. We are so blessed to have so many beautiful and delicious fruits and vegetables.

Guacamole

Avocado
onion
garlic
tomatoes
salt
squirt of lemon

Salsa

chopped tomatoes
Jalopeno pepper
onion
garlic
salt

I never measure for these items. They are very intuitive foods.

2009-04-22T00:13:00.001-04:00

Let's see how easy it is to blog from my mobile phone. The big problem is the 160 word limit. Lots of pictures today.

Busy Day in the Kitchen (no computer!)

2009-04-20T21:38:00.005-04:00

My computer was gone yesterday, so I couldn't write my recipes. We had "save the tuna" tuna for lunch (saving the tuna because none were killed in its preparation). We had some ranch dressing to pour on which I posted yesterday.

I am having to prepare some food for a seminary party we are having for Trae who turned 18. I try to do something special for them when they are graduating. It is a bit of a challenge to think of food they will like that is consistent to my values. I started some corn chips when I got home from church. Then today I found out we're doing it tomorrow, so I just fixed regular food for today. I marinated some broccoli yesterday cause I wanted to make a broccoli cheese soup with the Cheddar Cheeze. It was amazingly awesome. I got the marinated broccoli idea from a workshop we went to at Present Moment. There was no recipe; just pour these items onto 3 cups of prepared vegetables (any vegetables, but they suggest broccoli, carrots, and mushrooms for the lasagna).

onion powder
chili powder
nama shoyu
sesame oil
maple syrup
crushed fresh garlic
white pepper

Anyway, I just put a pile of marinated broccoli in each soup bowl. In the blender, I put what cheddar cheeze was left from last week with some rejuvelac, enough to make it soupy. After it was mixed up good, I poured it over the broccoli. It was the best broccoli cheese soup I've ever had! I loved it.

For dinner, I shredded some zucchini to have with marinated mushrooms, carrots, and the rest of the broccoli. I also made a pasta sauce to pour over. It was kind of a pasta primavera. Very tasty.

Best Pasta Sauce Ever

(This is from Chef Olive in Orlando; Pam's recipe)

2 C chopped fresh tomatoes
2 cloves garlic, peeled
1/2 C fresh basil
1/4 C chopped onion
1/2 C raisins
2 tsp dried oregano
2 T olive oil
2 tsp paprika
2 tsp sea salt
1/2 C sun-dried tomatoes, soaked
1/8 C fresh cilantro (optional)
1/8 C fresh parsley (optional)

In a blender (I use food processor), combine the tomato with the garlic, basil, onion, raisins, oregano, olive oil, paprika, and sea salt. Blend well. Add the sun-dried tomatoes to the mixture and blend again, slowly adding water until desired consistency.

Thanks Pam!!!

I also started another batch of Cheddar Cheeze, a triple batch, in fact. I can't get enough of it, and I can't wait for another bowl of soup. I'm thinking it will be good with cauliflower too. I also started some orange zest soaking in some agave; I'm going to make creamsicles tomorrow. We started sunflower seeds to make a new batch of seasoned sunflower seeds, a batch of mayo (a staple we like to keep on hand), and more wheat for rejuvelac. We had a busy kitchen day. We also got the corn chips out, and I put some soaked sesame seeds in for tahini. Chef Olive recommended soaking and dehydrating seeds we use for butters, so I am going to give it a try.

Here's the recipe for the mayo (Chef Olive):

2 cups cashews and 1/2 cup pine nuts
1 1/2 cups Thai coconut water
3 - 4 cloves of peeled garlic
1/2 cup lemon juice
1 T sea salt
1/4 cup stone ground mustard

Delicious for the un-Tuna recipe, but Roger loves it with sliced tomatoes. It is a tasty spread on the sprouted wheat crackers to make tomato sandwiches.

So no pictures today, but 3 recipes, so hopefully I have redeemed myself.

I Do Love the Juice!

2009-04-18T21:57:00.004-04:00

I got to work early this morning, so Roger made me a wonderful juice for breakfast: a whole quart of the most delicious grapefruit juice I've ever had. It was fantastic, and it was just the thing to get my day off to a wonderful start.

I made some ranch dressing for the weekend and had more than would fit in the quart jar, so I put it in a little pickle jar. When we got on the road I was using it to dip some celery sticks, and then we picked up our CSA from Fruitland and there were some of their delicious tomatoes, so I enjoyed some of those along with the celery. I also had a cup of raisin cheese to eat with some of the celery, so that was a nice dessert.

For dinner, Alicia made a spiced papaya that she serves over spinach leaves. She makes a lovely caper lemon sauce to pour over it, and it is quite yummy. I get way too into the moment to remember to take pictures. Sorry. Maybe next time.

Ranch dressing/dip

This recipe comes to me from the raw body twins, a couple of sisters who started a business helping raw fooders find their inner beauty. Their website is therawbodytwins.com.

1-1/2 c nuts (cashew or mac or combo)
Soak them for a creamier dressing (1-2 hr is fine, then drain)
3/4 - 1 c filtered water for blending
3 T lemon juice (translates into approx 1/2 lemon)
1/3 c cider vinegar
1/3 c evoo
3 T agave (or 3 soaked dates)
2 cloves garlic
1 t garlic powder
3 t onion powder
1 t dill
1 T sea salt
1/2 t basil

And to add after it's done:

1/4 c finely minced parsley
another 1/2 t dill, minced

Makes 3 cups. Serving size 2 T. Blend all ingredients till creamy and smooth except the last 2, then once blended, stir in the last 2 ingredients. Thickens in fridge. Thin to desired consistency if using as a dressing, or toss into wet lettuce leaves as is. Number of servings: 24

Mono Meals

2009-04-17T20:28:00.010-04:00

Sometimes our best meal is a mono meal meaning a meal that only consists of one food item. I especially like this type of meal when the food is something that has been out of season and unavailable for a period of time. That happened to us today as we found some first of the season watermelons at the farmers market. It was absolutely delicious.

Towards the end of last summer, I bought a couple of watermelons knowing they were going out of season but hoping I could prolong the enjoyment a little longer. I couldn't. They weren't very good. So I let out a nice, long sigh, and decided to wait the long winter out.

When my kids told me there were watermelons there, I asked if they had samples out. They said no, so I said I won't buy them til I know they're good. There are far too many rogue watermelons running around out there. However, when I went today, one nice senorita gave me a sample, and it was good, so I decided to give it a try. I'm so glad I did. What a feast! (That's one of the secrets actually, and a good reason to shop where farmers are selling. They're proud to show off their good produce. I can't begin to tell you how many bad peaches I've purchased over the years from the grocery store. Now I don't buy any produce from the grocery store at all.)

Anyway we enjoyed a huge melon and can't wait til the next opportunity. $10 for a meal for 6 ain't bad either. I love mono meals!

For a light dinner, we had some leftover refried no-beans on some romaine leaves with some fresh guacamole and hemp cheeze sour cream. The corn chips were finally done, so they helped us finish off the guac. Umm, umm, good.

Today's picture. I'm just not very photogenic. I don't think we're going to get a good one here.

Getting Ready for Cinco de Mayo

2009-04-17T00:08:00.015-04:00

This has to go down in history as one of the worst pictures ever. I had to post it cause I promised myself I would, but then I decided that was okay, because this is truly one for posterity! They will know how wacky their great great grand maw maw was when they see this one! I think I'm actually snarling or something. I don't remember doing that, so maybe I have palsy...

We made more sprouted wheat crackers this morning. Just trying to keep up with demand. Wyatt really loves them, and I worry that he'll eat more than is good for him. I try to get him to eat something green with them, but he can eat a ton of salad too. I guess I shouldn't worry so much about it. I wonder how different a sprouted wheat kernel is compared to just a dry wheat kernel. In theory, a sprouted kernel is a living plant compared to the dry seed where the energy is stored in the germ waiting to be awakened. If it is ground and cooked, the life force is killed, isn't it? When I dehydrate the crackers, I only do so at a low temperature so that it doesn't kill the sprout. I have to hope that is a good thing.

Anyway, after the sprouted wheat crackers, we made some refried no-bean pate. We were wanting some living tacos for dinner tonight. They turned out extremely good. We made guacamole to go on top of them, and dolloped a spoon of hemp cheese sour cream on it. They were out of this world. I was hoping for some corn chips, but I forgot to make them and start dehydrating them last night, so this morning was too late. We'll have them tomorrow. It's all good. We used some beautiful red leaf lettuce we get from one of our CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) farmers as our "taco", and I can't remember when I've had a better meal. I meant to take pictures for the blog, but I got too caught up in the moment. [Hey, I took a video of this the next day from the leftovers. Check it out.]

Refried No-Beans

2 cups hulled sunflower seeds (soaked and sprouted)
3/4 cup sun-dried tomatoes (soaked)
1 Tablespoon Nama Shoyu
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
2 teaspoons chili powder
2 teaspoons ground coriander
1 teaspoon lemon juice
2 Tablespoons olive oil
1 Tablespoon agave
1 teaspoon sea salt, plus more to taste

Place all ingredients into a food processor. Process until you have a refried beans consistency. If you need more moisture, add one Tablespoon at a time of the sundried tomatoes soak water.

This tortilla recipe is for a whole dehydrator full (9 shelves). Doesn't last too long around here.

Golden Tortilla Chips
from Everyday Raw by Matthew Kenney (doubled recipe)

3 1/2 c flax meal
8 c frozen corn, thawed
3 c water
5 T olive oil
2 T cumin
1 large red onion
2 cloves garlic
1/2 T sea salt
8 t lime juice
1/8 t cayenne
4 t chili powder

Place chili powder, flax meal, and cayenne in a large bowl. Blend remaining ingredients in a blender in batches to liquify. Stir liquified mixture into flax meal mixture. Stir well to break up clumps of flax meal. Spread about 1 1/2 cups batter over Teflex sheet. After dehydrating about 1 1/2 to2 hours, score chips. Sprinkle with additional salt if desired. Dehydrate 12 hours, turn, and finish dehydration.

We also made another fruit pie to share. These are very nice for those who like to have a healthy dessert. I'd rather just have the fruit, but others go a little crazy over it, so I try to accomodate them. No recipe. Just a crust, some bananas, slice some fruit, whatever is in season. If prepared ahead and refrigerated, the pectin in the fruit will help it all stick together a little more when it is served, but it's still going to be all over the plate. No one minded.

Mango-Pina Piiiiie

2009-04-15T21:02:00.009-04:00

Only had one quart of my "hot" lemonade today, but boy, was it delicious. I really love it. I don't look forward to it because it is so spicy, but when I'm drinking it, I really love it.

Finished up the cheeses today. After they fermented, I refrigerated them until I could get to them. The cheddar cheese is a fantastic new recipe I will be using many times over. I can't wait to try it in a broccoli soup tomorrow! I'm dying for some raisin cheeze too, but I can wait til tomorrow if I have to. I think the hemp cheeze will be a new addition we all will like as well.

We also made up the mango-pina pie, but didn't have time to freeze it, and I think it fixes up better that way. Everyone still liked, but I'll make sure to allow time to freeze it next time.

The crust is just smushed soul dates with cinnamon and a pinch of salt. The filling is 2 cups mango, 2 spears pineapple (about 1/2 a pineapple, I think), 2 cups soaked cashews, 1/2 to 1 cup agave (depending on sweetness of fruit), and 1/2 cup lemon juice blended in the blender til smooth. It can be topped with a sprinkling of coconut, but I didn't have any more. This is a variation of a recipe in Matt Amsden's Rawvolution.

Also got a new pic for me. Not sure it's a final one..., but we'll see. I thought I'd try to get Roger to photograph me when I do my food pics and see how they come out.

Darius and Alicia checked on the farmer's market in Jacksonville (the Beaver Street Market), and it looks like we may be going there to hawk some of our goods.

Soup and Salad, again

2009-04-14T20:39:00.003-04:00

No time for pictures today. We drank our "hot" lemonade all day while working in Palakta. I just made 2 quarts of it, one for Roger, and one for myself, and we ran out to the van when we got the chance for a sip of it.

When we got home, Roger juiced a bunch of celery for the cuke soup, and it was delicious and very light and nourishing as usual. I also made untuna salad from the sunflower seeds I had sprouting. This is Wyatt's favorite. Or one of them. The sprouted wheat crackers also came out of the dehydrator, and Wyatt said they tasted like popcorn. That's a new one. I haven't had one yet.

We had green salad left over from dinner last night upon which to plop our untuna pate, and it was quite tasty, but I haven't been very hungry for salad lately which is very unusual for me. I'm in the soup mode, I guess, and juice.

Well, that's all we ate today. Roger is still polishing off his pie...

It's interesting, isn't it, how we don't overeat the raw foods as much as their cooked counterparts. It's certainly not for lack of taste. I think the nourishing value of them is certainly an aspect of it. The cooked foods, and certainly the junk foods, don't have the nutritional value, so we find ourselves eating more than we should to get satisfied. We're satisfied on many fewer calories when eat foods in their natural state. Nice, huh, not to have to feel like a glutton all the time.

We drove past a former favorite restaurant today, and I felt the heaviness in my stomach I would experience when eating there. It is extremely unpleasant, and a feeling I am NOT anxious to experience ever again even if the addictive side of my head is telling me I want to experience the "taste" sensation.

Hot Lemonade and More

2009-04-13T15:47:00.012-04:00

First off, here's how we make our "hot" lemonade. It is a recipe from Stanley Burroughs who wrote a book called Master Cleansing where he recommends drinking this whenever one feels the need to cleanse. His recipe calls for maple syrup which I don't like to use in large quantities, so I substitute honey (which he says NOT to do. Too bad.).

2 T freshly squeezed lemon juice
2 T raw honey
1 1/4 cup water
sprinkle of cayenne

It is really quite tasty, and it hits the spot if you are feeling the need to cleanse.

I also made some "banana bread" yesterday with the wheatberries leftover from making rejuvelac. I just mix them with a few bananas, some cinnamon, and a pinch of salt. It makes a flexible bread that we might be able to make ice cream cones out of.

Today, I decided to use the tray of sprouts from yesterday to make some sprouted wheat bread. I haven't made it in a while, and Wyatt won't let me forget it! So this batch is for him!

Here's a pic of the cheeze made yesterday so you can see how much it "grew". It's alive!!!!!

Last night for dinner we had our leftover patties on a bed of lettuce and shredded zucchini. I marinated some mushrooms to put on top of the patty, and then poured alfreda sauce over it. Muy delicioso! Wyatt ate 2 helpings, but one was enough for Roger and I.

Of course, Roger had a slice of his pie, too, as did Wyatt. I'm not too crazy about stuff like that, but it did look good. We made the crust out of almond flour leftover from making almond mylk mixed with dates, cinnamon, and a pinch of salt. Roger made 2 more for the freezer awaiting whatver we can think of to put in there. Last week I made a mango pineapple dessert that I will probably do again. He really liked it alot, and we wanted the kids to taste it.

I love leftovers! I used the leftover Alfreda sauce to make a spinach soup for dinner tonight, added a little nutmeg, and it was fantastic. Wyatt hasn't been eating soup lately, but Roger and I don't mind a bit! More for us!

Moving in a Different Direction

2009-04-12T11:40:00.012-04:00

Because I have been looking for a venue for my raw food journey, and because I have used this resource for that purpose while I was juice feasting, I have decided to take it in a different direction in case there is anyone out there who cares what I am doing. I am asked for my recipes a lot, and this might be a good way to keep track of my experiments.

Keep in mind, I have never been much of an experimental cook. I have always been a strict recipe follower. Also keep in mind that due to my work schedule, I do not have a lot of time for preparing or experimenting. We eat a lot of standard salads during the heavy work schedule.

I got a new book at Borders the other day called The Complete Idiot's Guide to Eating Raw. A lot of people are put off by being called an idiot, but I think I am an idiot in many different aspects of my life, why not in the way I eat?

There was actually a number of good recipes in here I would like to try. I bought the book because they had quite a few rejuvelac recipes, and I have been looking to branch out there as I love the rejuvelac cheeses. This one takes it a step farther into salad dressings and sauces, and I have been fearful about taking that additional step. (Hence the idiot status is completely accurate.)

Here is a picture of the next batch of rejuvelac that is in the works. Wheat or some other grain is sprouted. Once the sprouts are about 1/4 inch long, they are mixed with water and allowed to ferment for a couple of days, stirring at least 2x a day.

I made some rejuvelac at the latter part of the week and put it in the fridge to finish up while we did a weekend trip to Daytona for opening day at Jackie Robinson Ball Park. It was still waiting for me when I returned, so I was more than happy to put it to good use. We used up the last of our raisin cheeze last week, and we have celery positively dying to have some more. So that was the first order of the day. Jaray asked me for that recipe last week, so here it is:

Raisin Cheese

4 cups cashews
Enough rejuvelac to blend it (about 2 1/2 cups)

Blend until smooth; pour into 1/2 gallon glass container and let sit at room temperature overnight. Grind 2-3 cups of raisins in the food processor. (Don't wash as you will use the bowl to prepare the cheeze.) Put into a separate bowl while you mix the cashew cheese into cream cheese thusly:

Cashew Cream Cheeze

Cashew cheese prepared in previous recipe
1/2 cup lemon juice
1/4 cup OVOO
2 t sea salt

Blend in the food processor and empty into bowl with chopped raisins. Mix thoroughly. We then put this in 1/2 pint jars and try to limit ourselves to one jar at a setting. It is soooo good.

In the idiot book, there is a recipe for Hemp Cheeze I am also trying which can then be used for sour creme.

Hemp Cheeze

4 cups cashews soaked at least 2 hours
1/2 cup hemp seeds
2 cups rejuvelac
1 t salt

Place all ingredients in the blender, and blend for 40 - 60 seconds until very smooth. Place in a 1/2 gallon mason jar. Cover and allow to sit in a warm place overnight. Use as a dip for crudites and/or as a base for sour creme.

Sour Creme

1 cup Hemp Cheese
1/4 cup EVOO
1/4 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice
water as needed for consistency and blending (additional rejuvelac can be used)
pinch of salt

Blend ingredients in blender only adding water slowly and as needed. Blend on high speed for 20 seconds. Add needed water and blend an additional 30 seconds until creamy and smooth.

Chill at least 30 minutes before serving. "Store in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to 4 or 5 days. It is perfect to serve with burritos, tacos, and any other savory dish as well as desserts."

Here is another version of cashew cheeze I want to try from the idiot's guide:

Cashew Cheese

2 cups cashews
1 cup filtered water (I used rejuvelac)
1/3 cup red bell pepper, ribs and seeds removed, and diced
2 1/2 T green onion, diced
2 T fresh cilantro, minced
1 t garlic, minced (optional)
1 t nama shoyu (or to taste)
1/4 t sea salt (or to taste)
Pinch crushed red pepper flakes

Place cashews and water in a blender, and blend on high speed for 40 - 60 seconds or until very smooth.

Place mixture in a quart-size mason jar. Cover and allow to sit in a warm place overnight.

Transfer cashew mixture to a large mixing bowl. Stir in remaining ingredients. Serve immediately (I think it would benefit from sitting for flavors to combine) or store in an airtight glass container for 3 to 4 days. This recipe provides a great base for a variety of dips. Red bell pepper can be blended into the cheese in the blender if you want an orange cheese. Other nuts (macadamia or pine) can be substituted if desired, and other herbs can be used.

Roger is making a raw fruit pie. He loves them, and I could care less, so he is the official pie maker in the family now although I don't mind whipping one up every once in a while.

Our main innovation there is that we use dry almond meal leftover from almond milk. After making the milk, we run it through a nut milk bag, and spread the residue on a tray in the dehydrator. After it dries, we place it in pint jars. To make the pie crust, we grind the meal up in the food processor until it is like a coarse flour, then add dates until we get the consistency we want. We add some cinnamon and a pinch of salt as well. This is pressed into the pie plate, and the pie can be whatever you want to add. I made this crust with agave last week instead of dates, but I think the dates give it a better consistency.

Happy Birthday Baby Boy

2009-03-01T22:54:00.008-04:00

Whenever one of my children's birthdays roll around, it is hard for me to think about anything except their birth and the consequent days, weeks, months, and years. It is amazing the things that come to mind. Often it is things I haven't remembered for years.

Today is Orion's (my youngest son's) 26th birthday. It really seems too incredible that he could be that age and that I could be his mother. I became pregnant with him when Darius was only 9 months old. I did not know I was pregnant for awhile; I just thought I had some major issues with the flu. I really didn't think I would get pregnant that easily while I was still nursing Darius. Finally, about 4 months into it, I decided to ask the doctor if it could be another baby. Obviously, it was, and we were off to the races again.

I decided to keep nursing Darius throughout his pregnancy against the advice of most people. I felt it was too early to wean Darius as I had hoped to nurse him a couple of years. So we did the best we could. Orion was born in a birthing center with a midwife who was under the supervision of Dr. Lewis. He was well-known for his work with people who wanted to have more natural childbirths.

My other two babies had been born without too many complications, but this one presented a few more trials. First he presented face first which means that, well, let's just say it was a lot more difficult. I remember the midwife almost had a stroke when she saw that he was coming out that way. She yelled, "Why didn't you tell me it was hurting that much?" I just knew it was hurting; it didn't occur to me that there might be a reason. Anyway, he was born under a little stress because of that, and they were concerned because he didn't get his color right away. I guess it could have gone another way, but Orion was intended to live out his life. As easy as it would have been for him to slip back through the veil, he was determined to stick it out apparently.

Not only was he a little touch and go for a while, so was I. I started hemoraging (I don't know how to spell that, and I'm too lazy to look it up but not too lazy to type this explanation...) and passed out.

Somehow we survived all of that. Orion weighed in at 9 lb. 9 oz, and he was 23 inches tall. No wonder I felt like I was going to explode! I am way too short wasted for all these tall babies! We went home as soon as we were allowed to, and started enjoying the ride.

Orion was a good baby except that he wanted to eat every hour on the hour. He and Darius got along very well; Darius was at his birth, and I've wondered if they bonded then. At the time, Darius didn't seem all that impressed with this new little creature, but as the years went by, they were very close. As a matter of fact, I credit Orion with Darius' ability to ever read. He showed no interest in it until Orion started reading. Thank goodness for Orion, right?

One of the things I remembered this week that I hadn't thought about for awhile is how we used to read the Book of Mormon mastery scriptures everyday. Dorian was going to seminary, I think, so I was aware of the mastery scriptures, and I thought it would be good for the little boys to memorize them as Dorian was learning them. The one that I thought of this week was Moroni 10:4 - 5 where we are promised we can know the truth of all things by the power of the Holy Ghost. Orion loved He-man, a cartoon popular at the time. One of the things He-man would always say was "By the power of grayskull" and then he would perform some tremendous feat. The boys compared He-man and the power of grayskull to the power the Holy Ghost had to tell them things. It was quite comical, but it worked. They seemed to understand the concept.

Another thing I thought of this week was the time Orion was bitten by a dog while we were delivering welfare stuff to a family in our ward. I had the assignment while the RS president was out of town. We had been to this family's house many times, and the dogs seemed to know us, but there was something different this time. Orion was on the back of the truck wearing his red sweatpants. Maybe it was the red that got the dog fired up like they do the bulls with the bull fighters. Anyway, it came up behind the truck as we were pulling in, and took a bite out of him. I think he had on his usual two pairs of sweats (he got cold very easily), so the dog didn't do any damage, but it sure shook up the both of us. Again, quite comical in retrospect!

Orion's nickname was "possum". He looked like a marsupial baby as he was always connected to me in some way. It never really bothered me. He slept with us for a number of years until he was almost 4, and I can still remember how he felt snuggled into the small of my back. (Before you get all high and mighty and judge me for having my kids with me in our bed, please read the book Family Bed. I still think it is a wonderful way to rear children. I do not regret it for a moment.)

Even after the baby and toddler years, we were always close. While my other children lived their own lives, he always was a part of mine for some reason. It really seemed improbable that he would ever separate himself from us. He told us many times that if he ever did move out, he was going to live next door. We didn't hold out much hope of that, but we thought he would always be in our lives. Needless to say,it hasn't worked out that way, and I'm not sure how we're supposed to feel about that.

I understand how men are supposed to be united with their wife. I understand about apron strings being cut. I tried to rear all my children to be independent with varying degrees of success. I guess I didn't expect to be cut off completely from contact with them. Maybe that is the way it is supposed to be, but I don't think so. That is certainly not the pattern that is seen in the scriptures. I guess the hardest part is not understanding why there is such a discrepancy. If we had not been close in his earlier years, it would be easier to comprehend.

So, my memories this week of our wonderful times together have been muddled with my sorrow over a lost friend. Of all my children, he was the one that understood my trials and my troubles. He comforted me while the others didn't even know there were challenges. He talked through problems and difficulties. When he left, I lost my closest ally, and it has been most difficult.

This is not to say that Roger, my husband, is not my best friend. He is. But most women have a confidant besides their husband, and Orion was mine. He understood how I felt more than even Roger did even though he (Orion) was a child. I think a lot of that was because the gospel always came easier to him than it did anyone else I ever knew so that he had a more mature outlook on the things about which we talked. I have always worked through my problems from a gospel angle, so Orion's perspective matched this better than most people's.

I guess in looking back, maybe I should never have gotten that comfortable with him. Maybe I should have tried to keep my distance knowing that he would grow up and move away from us emotionally. I guess it is easy to see these things in hindsight.

Another memory we had of him this week was the time we were in a car accident when he was on his way to a performance for Showtime to which I didn't want him to go. He spent many months recuperating from that, and he missed a lot of activities. It happened on the day he graduated from high school. Both of us almost missed that one!

One summer prior to this, I broke my ankle. He stayed home from summer camp to stay with me so that Roger could work. The other boys, of course, went to their activities. That was a tremendous sacrifice for him, and I've always been grateful to him. (In contrast, one time when I broke my ankle I asked Darius to come drive me home as I couldn't drive right after the accident, and he said he couldn't because he was going to his friend's house! ARRRGH.) It's odd isn't it? Now Darius is the attentive one.

I look back over our years with Orion with nothing but good memories. He and Darius both provided us with a glimpse of heaven. We are so grateful we were able to have more children after our "stupid years". I hope he has a wonderful 27th year (starting tomorrow) and that he'll have at least a hundred more. He is so blessed to be the father of a wonderful baby girl this year, so he will always remember this year as a special one. Happy Birthday, Orion!

Gold Nuggets

2009-02-10T22:20:00.005-04:00

Darius told us about one of his professors whose wife contracted brain cancer. Sadly, she passed away this week. The professor had contacted Darius to ask him about his treatments but evidently disregarded what Darius was doing. I was telling Roger about it today, and he asked, "I wonder how we can get people to listen." To me it is just like the gospel: people hear about it and either receive a witness that it's true, or they disregard it as quirky, weird, irresponsible, unChristian, etc. The only way anyone will ever know if the gospel is true or not is if they receive a witness of it from the Holy Ghost. Roger asked me how I knew to start eating this way, so I shared that story with him. I would never in a million years have done this if the Holy Ghost had not told me. I never even heard of such a thing as a raw vegan. One time many years ago I read an article in a magazine about a man who only ate raw fruits and vegetables. I sighed and said, "That might be nice, but I could never do that. It's just too hard." For all I knew there was only one man on the earth living like that, so it certainly would not have been a choice I would have made without promptings. I believe if the Holy Ghost would tell me to do such a thing, He would tell everyone anything it is that they need to do whether it be to join the Church of Jesus Christ or live a healthier lifestyle. (And everything in between!) It all goes back to how much our Father in Heaven loves us and wants us to have joy and happiness while we sojourn here on earth. It is us that removes ourselves from His presence through our running off into other more enticing (or so they seem) endeavors.

As I was relating my story to Roger, another thought occurred to me. When the Holy Ghost suggested we give "mild foods" to Darius (those were His exact words), I didn't know what that meant. I had to ponder it, and then I asked if by mild He meant foods for which an extreme amount of digestion wouldn't be needed, and the answer was yes. So I talked to Alicia, and she agreed to start giving him "mild foods". We didn't know what we were doing exactly, but we were confident that the Spirit would continue guiding us (and boy did He!). We bought a juicer and started making him raw juices a couple of times a day. We knew from previous experiences (and doesn't He always prepare us so that we will have what we need at the right time?) that raw juices require almost no digestion, so they can begin to do what vegetables (called herbs in the scriptures) are supposed to do (heal) almost immediately as they begin to be absorbed into the blood stream. Quickly he gained strength, so we knew we were on the right track. As we started researching on the internet, we found more and more information until we arrived at where we are at today. I have no doubt that more will be unfolded all the time. My point in mentioning this is that the Holy Ghost doesn't give you the whole drawn out scenario. He gave me a very tightly compressed nugget: "mild foods". As I began decompressing the nugget, the information within it grew and grew and grew and grew. I figure I've still only gotten about an eighth of inch into it after a year and a half. What wonderful treasures He has for us! I can hardly wait to get up each day and find out what new scrapings will reveal.

Too Many Venues

2009-02-08T20:34:00.003-04:00

I have so many journals right now, I don't know which end is up. I have this blog, and truth be told, I'm not sure what its function is. Then there's my online journal where I keep an almost daily log of my life. I also started a scripture journal based on admonitions and inspiration received at a recent seminary training. There's also my regular 8 1/2 by 11 hard bound hard copy journal that is going unnoticed in the digital frenzy. And then there's the piles and piles of yellow and white steno pads where I write down notes and inspirations as they come to me with the intent to record them in the most pertinent venue at a later date. (That doesn't usually happen by the way.)

"So why so many venues?" one might ask. Good question... I've been thinking about that a lot lately. I can't find his entry now, but Darius posted about this as well, how one of these is a more private venue for posting personal stuff, and the blog is more of an editorial kind of posting on what's going on in our lives.

I even thought of taking up digital posting, but live journal, where I keep my personal stuff, only lets you post a line or two, so I tried posting reminders to myself of events during the day so that in the evening I could expand on them. This worked well while attending a weeklong class in West Palm, but I have forgotten to do it since then. Life seems to be too hectic to write about it.

I think journaling is a very important part of stress reduction. I believe we could write through a lot of the things bugging us if we would consistenly remember to write. I am amazed at what does come out when I don't think I have anything to write about. It goes back to the old Field of Dreams analogy: if you write it, the thoughts will come.

Our lives are so full of stress. Everyone on the planet is plagued with it. Heavenly Father wouldn't put us here with all of this without helping us find a way to deal with it. Maybe journaling is the solution along with living the gospel to begin with so that our lives are not as complicated. I think we are supposed to spend time each day in prayer in meditation as well, and I know exercise helps too. I guess we have all the tools we need, we just have to apply them.

Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches

2009-02-01T08:48:00.003-04:00

I was tired last night, so I went to bed a little earlier than usual. The problem with that is that I can never sleep through the night and wake up really early. Being too lazy to get up, I waste the time laying there thinking about stuff. So this morning it came into my head to do a "living the lifestyle" class for our next raw food group. (We started having a little class for some people who have been asking what we do. It started two weeks ago. We're now working on class #3.) I had planned on doing something else, so it was interesting that I was prompted to do this, but it makes sense, and it will certainly be helpful to the new folks who are coming. Of course, a lifestyle class involves the foods that serve as lifesavers, so we can never get away from the food. One of the themes that ran through the Glaser Farms class was that Tracy wanted to give us recipes or ideas for things that would keep us away from foods that detour us from our goals to eat healthy. I had never thought of that in that way although, of course, I had employed some of the strategies in a survival kind of context. To hear her put it that way changed the perspective a little bit.

Example: yesterday I heard Wyatt going to the refrigerator looking for food about every 1/2 hour. I realized this was because he was not so much hungry as wanting something that was not there. I remembered what Tracy had said, so I looked at my notes from Glaser Farms and went out to make him Tracy's version of the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Of course it is not a sandwich at all (which he quickly pointed out), but he enjoyed it none the less, and I think it satisfied some of the restlessness in his stomach. He was still scavenging a half hour later, but he went for another apple instead of looking longingly in the fridge for something that wouldn't have been good for him.

The desire for previously enjoyed foods is very real until we actually have some of them and realize we have been duped into wanting something that is not good for us. The memory of it is much more enjoyable than the actual substance. That is the nature of addictive substances in general. On the other hand, living foods are much more enjoyable than their memory. That is an odd contrast between good and evil if one wants to look at it in a spiritual way. We know that the harmful foods detract from our spirituality (or do we really know that?), but we want them anyway. Once taken, sorrow and remorse set in as we feel bad physically and emotionally knowing we have failed again. Living foods do the opposite: we feel great physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I think that when we start talking about the spiritual and emotion aspects of food, that is where we lose a lot of people. They think we have gone off the deep end.

I am starting to realize that choosing how much of my food to eat in its raw, living foods state is more than a number. I want to take as much of the best food I can into my body (within the realm of what it needs) while avoiding as much of the foods that detract from my health as possible. For example, when a recipe calls for maple syrup, am I going to avoid it because it is cooked, or am I going to think about whether it serves as a vehicle for a more nutritious food that I might not otherwise eat, or is it just an empty excuse for a food that won't do me any good. Conscious eating is very difficult for those of us who have been doing it unconsciously for so long. It requires a lot of discipline to just ask the necessary questions, no less to stop the insanity of putting harmful foods in our bodies.

Of course, the living foods lifestyle is more than food, thankfully. Because we spend so much time eating each day, and the rest of our day is divided up between so many other kinds of actiivities, we might tend to think about it more than we should. I think that is temporary until we can do the conscious things more unconsciously. Until then, it is what it is.

Oblivion

2009-01-20T20:25:00.008-04:00

I haven't been blogging lately as I decided to keep an online journal. I have been keeping up with that daily, but I consider that more of a personal record of my life. I have been all too aware of how public a blog is as I read many blogs each day. So I have decided to separate the public from the private.

That being said, what is the function of a blog then? I think it is like a letter to the editor page, a way for us to express our opinion. People are welcome to read it if they like, and those with whom it resonates will want to keep up with it. There are so many kindred spirits blogging, it is quite overwhelming to read them all. I kind of save them for when I have the time except for the more urgent ones like the ones my kids write.

I was excited to see that Jac and Orion were going to write a blog, but they have since decided to make it by invitation only, and of course, I was not invited even though I requested it. It is humiliating enough to have to beg, but then to be ignored is even more degrading. I guess if the Lord is trying to humble me, He isn't going to have to work too much harder at it. I think I'm there.

There are websites that teach us how to blog more effectively; who has time to read them when all we do is read blogs all day? And write them, of course...

So what is the function of my blog? Where am I trying to go with it? I am trying to look into the future to see where it can do the most good. We have been asked a lot lately about our successful weight loss. I guess people have kinda noticed since it is such a large amount, and we are keeping it off this time (Each of us has lost more than 100 pounds).

The living foods lifestyle has been a huge development in my life; it has been life-changing in many ways, good and bad.

Bad in that it is socially not acceptable to most of the people with whom we have associations. As one of my friends put it, "You are just so much of an extremist." It is labor intensive, but I have always prepared foods from scratch, so I wouldn't say this is any worse than that. For those used to buying prepared foods, this would be a hard adjustment.

When I learned about the living foods lifestyle in 1983, I discontinued it due to family pressures even though I was getting extreme benefits from it. When I say family pressures, that is a little unfair because it is really my reaction to those pressures which caused me to give it up. Dealing with my emotions is a very real aspect of this lifestyle because I no longer have my crutches to sustain me through difficult emotional crisis.

Would you say having to deal with emotions is a negative? On the surface it might seem to be, just as an drug addict or alcoholic would have to learn to cope. Certainly it is difficult, but I think most people who get through it are grateful to not have to be bound down like that. I don't believe we are aware of how we are substance abusing until the substance is taken away from us. When we find ourselves manipulating to try to get the substance, the realization comes that we just might have a problem.

As I tell people about the wonderful experiences we are having, I try to warn them about what they are about to encounter. But what a lovely road of discovery it is. I love the honesty it has taught me. I find myself acknowledging things to myself I never would have before, and with this comes the help from the Holy Ghost that I need to get through it. I am getting answers to prayers I never knew I had because I could never reach that level of honesty with myself. I am dealing with painful life situations in a different manner: I am allowing myself to be sad. Sadness is pain, and as an addict, I avoided pain at all costs. What a price I paid!

I have always believed that the morbidly obese have a few screws loose. It just doesn't make sense that a human being would be able to do that to themselves. Now I understand it is simply my coping mechanism. (I say simply, but there is very little simple about it.) As I see people who are morbidly obese, I know they are hurting, but they don't realize how much as they are trying to numb the pain. It's an aspirin for the headache thing: whatever is causing the headache is still there, but we don't feel it as the analgesic effect of the aspirin takes over. When the headache comes back, we take more aspirin.

I have learned that pain, any kind of pain, is not as bad as my mind tells me it is going to be. My brain actually has trained me to avoid it telling me it's going to hurt, and I don't want that! Actually, the pain is bad, but I find myself amazingly able to cope with it. I've been thinking about Joseph Smith had to have leg surgery and refused to drink the whisky offered to him by his physician. I've often wondered how he could stand to have them cut into his leg without any anesthesia. Now I think I understand that we can endure anything we have to. I remember when I was in labor with my babies, one of the ways I dealt with it (I was determined not to have any pain medication) was that I just let the pain ride over me. It worked then, but it never occurred to me to apply that same principle to other kinds of pain, especially emotional pain.

Actually, before beginning the living foods lifestyle, I don't think I ever dealt with very much emotional pain. I did not know how it would feel; I only knew I needed to avoid it. I can remember as a child knowing I did not want to feel it. So it has been an interesting journey for me as I learn to cope with real feelings that I should have learned how to deal with many years ago. I am actually enjoying this growing up phase of my life.

Weight loss is a great thing, and I am really grateful for it. But I am even more grateful for the fact that I can now meet the Master when my life is over more aware of conscious decisions I have made. I never want to go back to oblivion. When the scrolls of my life are laid open before me, I don't want any surprises!

Attitude of Gratitude

2008-11-28T07:27:00.006-04:00

Wasn't able to post a blog yesterday about Thanksgiving as it was a bittersweet day for me. It was the first Thanksgiving since our sons went on missions that we did not spend time together. Last year was a little off as well and signaled the beginning of the end, but I did not see it then.

I could not write about my feelings then, but this morning in my LDS gems there was a great quote from Elder Eyring that put it all in perspective:

“I am at a stage in my life when, because of great distances, I cannot come to know well grandchildren and, in time, great-grandchildren. There are also people who have never had the opportunity for marriage and parenthood who have the same yearning as I do to somehow be close to family. Because of the restoration of the knowledge of eternal families, we are more hopeful and more kindly in all our family relations. The greatest joys in this life center in families, as they will in the worlds to come. I am so grateful for the assurance I have that if we are faithful, the same sociality which we enjoy here in this life will be forever with us in the world to come, in eternal glory (see D&C 130:2).”

Henry B. Eyring, “The True and Living Church,” Ensign, May 2008, 22

Although his inability to see his extended family is due to geographical distances and mine is an emotional void, the yearnings are the same. An emotional gap is difficult because all communication is cut off. While our sons were on missions, we greatly enjoyed our biyearly phone calls and weekly (?) letters. We no longer enjoy that luxury. We still are hopeful as we know that in the next life all will become clear. There will not be the misunderstandings that exist in this life nor the mistrust. If I am faithful, all that the Father has will be mine. I don't really want His, I only long for mine, or what I perceive to be mine.

I really don't want to wallow in this, but it is a source of great pain. I suppose it is a good thing to at least address it especially in a journal kind of way. I think that pain is something we are supposed to experience however unpleasant it might be as it adds to our experience we are supposed to gain here on the earth. How can we expect to inherit eternal life if we have not felt the rejection of those we love? Jesus Christ certainly has been reviled by those He loved; should we expect to get through this life without this? Apparently not.

That being said, I cannot help but feel extremely grateful for what I have which includes wonderful memories with those I can no longer have contact. I have been a most blessed mother in Zion. I have 3 wonderful sons, and they have wonderful wives. What children have been born have been incredible, each in their own unique way. My husband is an incredible man who keeps his talents and spirituality well hidden from the world.

In saying I am thankful for the wives, I have to add the thought that I have been feeling grateful for Bonnie lately even though she and Dorian are getting a divorce. I went through a time when I was not so grateful, but I realize now that was foolish. She and Dorian produced 2 wonderful children that would not be in our family if they had not been together. While a divorced situation is not what we would have chosen for them, this world has a way of beating young couples up. Unfortunately, they have definately been a victim of this. As we are now given the opportunity to share our life with Wyatt, their son, we can only hope to stop the carnage, or at least alleviate it. I'm sure Darius and Alicia feel the same way about Angelina. I am grateful she is there as it helps me share in her life in a way I had not have been able to before.

My love for little Brooklyn is limited to my visions from afar. Maybe that is how our Heavenly Father feels when we move far away from Him. He is not able to enjoy daily communication with those who do not wish to communicate with him. I'm sure He sneaks a glimpse whenever He can. Just as there are children that don't even know about Him, she will not know us. I wonder at His patience and understanding.

I really intended this post to be about Thanksgiving. We celebrated with my mother on Monday with an apple harvest celebration, but the actual day of TG we spent at Sombrero Beach in Marathon, Florida. It was a beautiful place and we saw an amazing number of sea creatures there. Sombrero Beach serves as an estuary for the Florida Bay which means it is a nursery for the wildlife that lives in the larger bodies of water. We saw a baby sea urchin that was only an 1/8 inch wide as well as baby sand dollars! There were thousands of baby hermit crabs, but the find of day was by Angelina: a giant hermit crab. He would have easily been a foot long if we had pulled him from his shell. He looked like a Maine lobster! I have never seen one so big. He scared her to death! I'm sure Darius will post some pictures on his blog. We also saw a colony of the conchs that are the original mollusk to inhabit the hermit crab shell before they are eaten by the urchins. It was a great environmental study although I'm sure the kids did not fully appreciate that aspect of our discoveries.

One cannot be in a place like this without thinking of how blessed we are to live on the earth. He has truly given us everything we need to be happy if we could only see that and appreciate it. I hope this Thanksgiving will help me to remember to always count my blessings and truly develop an attitude of gratitude.

Ode to Dorian

2008-11-25T23:28:00.003-04:00

A tradition I started a number of years ago was recording a journal entry about each of my children on their birthdays. I haven't done it as consistently as I should ... in fact, that is the bane of my existence: consistency. I have not done anything as consistently as I should, except to be consistent with inconsistence, of course.

Anyway, I've been thinking for a week about Dorian's birthday. He is 35 today. He has had some rough times, and this year may fall into the memory banks as one of those, I think. I'm not really sure how he is perceiving it, but maybe someday we will be able to talk about it.

35 years ago, he was born in a hospital in Plantation, Florida. He was a month late, so he weighed 9 lbs. 3 oz. He was always a tall, skinny kid until we moved to our present home in rural Northeast Florida. Because he was used to the city life, he was a little intimidated by living in an area where there were no neighbors and no where to go, so he spent a lot of time at home. He had little interest in the outside activities the rest of us did with the landscaping and gardening and animal husbandry.

Dorian was a beautiful baby with the blondest hair you have ever seen in your life. He didn't have any brothers until he was 8 years old, and he always hated that he didn't have any siblings closer to his own age. I don't think he ever felt like he fit into his family. This is odd as I have always felt that way about my family. I am unlike any of my sisters. I thought I had been hatched or something. I think he feels more estranged now than ever, and this makes me very sad. I really love him so much, but I don't know how to relate to him in the situations he is in presently.

Loving our children is a very peculiar thing. We can love our children, and yet, this does not mean we always understand them. I have found that unconditional love is a gift given to me as a mother for which I am eternally grateful.

One thing a lot of people don't know about Dorian is how smart he is. As a 3 year, he was reading on a 3rd and 4th grade level. He has always been advanced, but this poses its own set of problems. We soon found that home school was the only way to keep up with his rapidly developing aptitude. He was horribly bored while in any classroom setting. We credit Dorian with teaching us about the wonders of home school. He taught us to value it as a superior form of education for anyone who wants the best for their children. When I first began homeschooling someone told me that no teacher could care about my child as much as his parents, and he taught us how true this statement is.

My greatest memory of his early childhood education was a teacher who told me she could not put Dorian in the time out room because all of the children wanted to be in there with him, and she could not maintain control of her classroom. Another memory I have was once when he was home with a little cold, he asked me if he could learn to write cursive...he was in kindergarten! That was when I realized he would never get to learn at his own pace in any other setting besides at home.

I don't think he ever really liked home schooling, unfortunately. I don't know if we would consider it a success with him or not as he always missed interaction with his peers. It was that same desire for socialization that got him in trouble while he was at school, so in retrospect, I still don't know what the best solution would have been. All I know is that we felt inspired to pull him out of government school, so I don't regret the decision. Since we were directed through revelation to do it the way we did, all I can suppose is that the alternative would not have been good for him. Maybe one day, all the unhappinesses he feels about his childhood will come into a different perspective. I hope so.

I love you, Dorian. I always have and always will. I'm sorry you see my actions as unloving. I can't change how you perceive us. All I can tell you is that I have spent most of my adult life trying to do things that would help you to be happy. May you find what will lead you to happiness and peace and joy.

Blogging: the new Sitcom

2008-11-18T09:39:00.004-04:00

I've been thinking a lot about how exposed we are with this blogging thing. I'm wondering how we will see it years down the road. There are perhaps two ways to look at it: my first thought is that no one really reads them anyway, and the more people post, the less read any individual blog will be. Secondly, if everyone is putting it out there, we won't be so shocked by the individual defeats people post.

It's kind of like the wave of sitcoms that became popular in the 50's. They remain popular today because people can relate to them. Blogging fills this perhaps better than TV as it is people we know or can get to know. They are real people.

It seems like whenever I am thinking about something, I read a blog about it somewhere else. This time it was Steve Pavlina's again:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2008/11/share-your-shame/

He talks about how as we "share our shame" in a public blog we are getting rid of the burden. As it is lifted from our soul, we can move on. True confessions as it were.

I have always been cautious when journaling not to include things of a "negative" nature, not because I feared what my progenitors would think should they ever read it, but as a precaution if they did. I didn't want to bring them down in some of my worst case scenarios. But, like the sitcoms of the 50's, everything is not rosy. Somehow, we can identify more with people's trials than their triumphs. I guess the triumphs are easy; it is the trials that get our attention.

As I was reading daughter-in-law blogs today (thank you both, by the way), I was thinking what a blessing this would be to their children someday. I think my children have seen my life as too easy as I kept my trials to myself. This was possibly a disservice to them as they assumed their life would be as easy as they saw mine to be.

Well, I'm here now to tell ya, it ain't easy. Hardly any day is easy. Every once in a while, maybe, but not usually. There, now I've said it. I will try to "share my shame" more on my blog and in my journaling as I learn to let go of my failures.

That being said, it is not an easy thing for me. I'll try harder tomorrow...

A Little Bit Here, A Little Bit There, It All Adds Up...

2008-11-11T12:26:00.004-04:00

I was listening to someone talk about cleaning out their space, and I was thinking how much decluttering our homes relates to decluttering our minds and our bodies. I have been hearing a lot about this lately, so it must be on everyone's mind. One poster went so far as to say if one is living in a cluttered environment, they can't possibly be making progress on decluttering their bodies or minds. That seems a little judgemental because one of the big factors in decluttering is how much space one has available. Some really do not have room for the necessities, but then again, maybe we just need to prioritize.

What I have learned from watching Roger go through this process (in watching him, I realized I did the same thing, but I couldn't see it in myself until I saw him) is that just as our bodies get rid of the waste by what I call shelves, we do the same with other decluttering that needs to be done. Example? ok.

We decided a couple of weeks ago to clean out our closet that had not been cleaned since we moved here. There were things put there when we first moved in and never looked at again. Then we just kept stuffing more and more things on top until we could barely get in there to get our clothes.

First, we just emptied everything out. It all started because we were getting rid of clothes we had undergrown in our 75 pound weight losses. Some of the obviously large clothes we had already gotten rid of, but there were some clothes to which we had emotional attachments. Imagine having emotional attachments to a piece of fabric! It seems strange to even say it.

As we started going through the piles in the closet, some things were so ridiculous to even think about saving that we laughingly threw it out or put it in the pile to sell at the flea market or donate to Goodwill. Other things, we actually had to think about. Remember, we did not even remember this stuff was there...how could we possibly need to KEEP IT? Some things had memories attached to it that caused us to shed a tear or two. I became aware of how many memories are attached to THINGS...

As we sorted, most of the stuff could be disposed of, but of the things we decided to keep, I saw an interesting pattern: emotional possessions. Part of the healing process we are going through in the raw vegan diet is very much emotional. We have learned that much (most, all, not sure what %) of the food we ate prior to starting the raw vegan diet was eaten for the emotional support it gave us. When I say emotional support, I'm thinking that's not such a good word for it. It served more as an emotional suppressor. Feeling sad, lonely, tired, depressed, angry, worried: have a bowl of chocolate pudding (or a piece of pizza, or .. well you get the picture). Since I no longer have those options available to me, it has become glaringly obvious that most of these foods with their addictive qualities serve the same function as alcohol does for the alcoholic and pot, cocaine, heroine, crack for the drug addict.

I read a story about a woman last night that had given up sugar for two weeks when someone came to her door at Christmas time with a box of chocolates for her. She knew if she ate them that she would have to start over in her attempt to get rid of the substance in her system, so she tossed it high in the attic where she wouldn't be able to get at it. (She had just had hip surgery and couldn't climb the stairs very well.) The longer it was in the house, the more she started thinking about how good they would taste, so finally she crawled up the stairs to get at it. It wasn't until she actually reached the top of the stairs in tremendous pain from the effort that she realized how foolish this was and how addicted she was to the substance. She didn't eat the chocolates by the way because this recognition got her through it.

Some would say, "So, what's the big deal? Just eat the stuff, and move on." I have found it is not that easy. Just as a drug addict won't get well by taking another hit, a food addict won't get better with another twinkie.

I realize a lot of people don't see the foods I no longer eat as addictive. It won't be long when one is without them that it will be realized. Healthful foods are never addictive. We may know that they are healthy and that we really want a salad today or some fresh juice, but there is a difference between knowing what we NEED to eat and desparately WANTING something. This is a good way to find out how addictive a substance is: go without it for a week, and see how desparate you are to have it.

In conducting this experiment, one must isolate the whole category. For example, you can't say, "Well, see, I gave up parmesan cheese this week, and I didn't have a negative symptom at all," when you continued to eat other dairy products. In fact, with a food addiction, the mind is very clever about substitutes. Any dairy product will feed a dairy addiction, any bread product a wheat addiction, any processed sugar a sweets addiction. I imagine alcoholics would go through this as well: any alcohol will do when the alcohol of choice is not available. My father was in detox in the hospital once for his alcoholism and begged for 8 oz. Hershey bars (which he normally never ate). This helped me make the connection between alcoholism and sugar addiction.

Well, I intended to write about decluttering our living spaces, and this may seem unrelated. In fact, since I have given up addictive foods, decluttering other aspects of my life has been complicated by the emotional addiction I have to things, memories, stuff in general. I have been really surprised by this. But the good news is, that as I peel off layers inside my body, I am able to peel off layers around my body including negative emotions, relationships, excess baggage. This is a wonderful side benefit. As I hit each new shelf internally, I can see how difficult it is by how difficult the external shelves are to clean. It is amazing how hand and hand they go.

As we enter this new phase of our lives via grandchildren living with us, we are able to apply these principles. I can already see where their emotional attachments are. I can see more clearly why the scriptures tell us we have to put these things behind us if we are to truly follow Him.

Just Give It to Me Straight...

2008-11-08T13:54:00.007-04:00

Welcome to another edition of "If you write it, they will read it!" I didn't write yesterday as it was one of those totally overwhelming days. I'm still in this state today, but wanted to record some things before I forget them.

Yesterday, Roger and I decided to ask Dorian if he would like us to take Wyatt to raise due to a lot of problems he has been having with him. These are not behavior issues really, although the problems with behavior are significant. Apparently there are mental health issues at play, and he has spent 13 days at a mental health facility where no real answers have been found. Darius and Alicia have agreed to take Angelina, our other grandchild, Wyatt's sister. Apparently someone reported Dorian to DCF and investigators want the children out of his home.

I do not understand any of this. How does this happen to a family? to our family? I wish I could understand that part of it better. I have been praying and praying for help to understand, but understanding does not come. Fortunately though, we do receive revelation for the other aspects like what we need to do and how we should do it.

We are not sure what is going on. Everything is so strange with Roger's brother in Fort Lauderdale, and now this with Dorian, that it feels as though everything in our world is falling apart. There is still a strange sense of calm though. Normally I would be totally freaked out, and I am not. Neither is Roger, and that is even more unusual. I am positive that our dietary choices are helping us get through this, and I'm sure the Spirit knows this would have been a requirement for helping us do what needed to be done.

Angelina is with us this weekend also, but she is having a bit of a detox this morning as she adjusts to life without the processed food she is used to at school breakfast and lunch lines. I know it won't last long, but I feel badly for her. She loves all the fruits and vegetables; she ate a whole tomato for dinner last night along with celery sticks, carrot sticks, cucumber spears, sprouted wheat crackers, and sunflower seed dip. She was a very happy camper. Wyatt tolerates it, not loving it, but eating only it only to survive. They both had a great time using the different dinner components to make faces and animals on their plates. The crackers, broken in half, made great kitty and puppy dog ears. I should have taken a picture! I'll try to remember next time, and then I'll stick it in as an edit.

We had lemonade for breakfast, and I was going to fix Angelina a fruit salad, but she was feeling poorly. She has slept all day, and it is now after 1:00 in the afternoon. Wyatt and Roger went to the flea market as we have been doing a lot of cleaning out and have tons of stuff to get rid of. (Another benefit of eating only living foods is the desire to simplify your lifestyle getting the junk out of your life just like getting rid of the junk in your body. As the body clears the garbage out, so must the junk in your life and your mind.) He is not having detox to my knowledge, but he has been at the hospital for over a week. Maybe they have been giving them more natural foods as they know how sensitive most kids are to chemicals and such. I hope they can make the adjustment to our lifestyles.

I wanted to give a heads up to a post by Steve Pavlina, one of my favorite bloggers. He is doing a juice feast as I've previously blogged about, so I've been following his progress with interest. I wanted to document this post as it has a great part in it about comparing live fooders vs cooked fooders with being color blind. Here is the link, if you're interested.

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2008/11/juice-feasting-day-13/

By the way, day 14 has an interesting post about social activities WITHOUT food. This was equally inspiring for me as I have been thinking about this a lot. So much of our social lives revolve around food. As a member of a church that does not believe in drinking or socializing in the traditional ways, food activities are VERY important. It is hard to think of a church activitity that does NOT revolve around food. So, naturally, this has been on my mind a lot for Roger and I as a couple. Going out to dinner is not as enjoyable an activity as it has been previously. We have been thinking of other activities we enjoy. We have been married 36 years; it is hard to change old habits! We are enjoying our new found activities much more than we ever enjoyed eating out, especially since there was always a down side to the restaurant meals. We are still evolving in this respect, and now that our family dynamic is changing, I'm sure it will change even more!

Synchronicity

2008-11-06T19:58:00.008-04:00

We just got done with our first week working solo. It has been a long time since we've done this. It was not without a few hiccups obviously, but Roger and I have always worked well together amazingly enough. Most people can't even figure out how we got married no less work together.

I wonder that myself sometimes. I think about how people get hooked up all the time. It really is quite an amazing phenomena if you put some thought into it. I know it has to be God that puts us together because most couples are very unlikely candidates when it comes to finding each other. Circumstances under which people meet are usually odd, and what are the odds that they would then be attracted to each other? It really is strange.

I've been reading about syncronicity lately. This is what a lot of people call "coincidences". I have never believed in them, but I do believe in syncronicity. I actually had to look that word up on wikipedia the first time I read it. I couldn't figure out what it meant from the context of what I was reading. Here is that website with the definition (just in case you were wondering):

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synchronicity

Now, to put that in my own words, synchronicity is when all the powers that be are working together for one cause. It is interesting that it cannot be caused by your actions (making it a consequence). For example, I have been thinking about yoga for about 6 months now, maybe longer. I have spent a lot of years being inactive and have lost alot of my agility. I was wondering if yoga might help me get some of that back. I was thinking of it kind of casually at first, and then about a week ago, I started thinking of it seriously. Last night I met a young woman who teaches yoga, and I expressed some of my concerns to her. She felt like yoga would really help me, and she gave me the phone number of a studio where I could find some good teachers.

A causal effect would have been me picking up a phone book or googling for a yoga studio and then finding one. Synchronicity is me "thinking" about it really hard and having someone come into my life that is able to resolve my concerns and give me some advice.

How is that not a coincidence? A coincidence would be considered related in some way. To quote wikipedia: "Events that happen which appear at first to be coincidence but are later found to be causally related are termed as 'incoincident'".

That this is a scientific phenomena is extremely fascinating to me. To believe it is scientific, one must acknowledge that there are other powers that be which are greater than we ourselves. I attended a goal setting class once where the teacher said if we write down our goals we are more likely to achieve them because there are folks beyond the veil wanting to help us accomplish the desires of our hearts.

If these postulates are correct, there really is no limit to what we can accomplish if we would but realize the potential to which we could aspire. The only limit to what we can do is US!

According to Lewis Carroll in Through the Looking Glass, "It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards". What if we could remember forwards?

Looking for the Little Miracles

2008-11-04T12:35:00.007-04:00

I find it pretty amazing that when I make the attempt to write an entry, there is always something that comes out. On the other hand, when I contemplate making an entry, I can't think of a single worthwhile thing to say. I guess it goes back to the "If you build it, they will come theory". If I make the effort to write, things come out of my brain that I didn't even know were there.

That being said, I really can't think of anything. I had an interesting experience with my seminary lesson this morning. I normally know where the lesson is going to go. As I planned the lesson, I had a general idea. Every once in a while, it goes a completely different direction, and today was one of those days.

We were doing the lesson from Luke where Jesus teaches the parable of the rich man and the beggar named (coincidently his best friend's name) Lazarus. When teaching this, the discussion always comes up about rich versus poor, and how rich people have a harder time being righteous. I was trying to take it in a different direction based on how we are supposed to teach a principle of the gospel: in this case, the atonement. (We have this list that goes over the gospel principles in every scripture block from the gospels. We have a list of 12 gospel principles that we are supposed to teach including: Godhead, commandments, covenants, apostasy & restoration, etc.)

As I've looked at the list, I sometimes have a hard time envisioning how that particular block relates to the chosen principle. Usually when I think about it, I can figure it out. This was NOT one of those cases. What did a rich man going to hell, and a poor man going to heaven have to do with the atonement? In my notes I made for teaching the lesson I had that maybe the rich man could have chosen during his life to apply the atonement, and the poor man's burdens were surely lifted by his application of this.

Well, that's not what happened. The Spirit totally blew that out of the water. We ended up with a discussion of how the Atonement makes us all equal. We all have the opportunity to partake of it. We talked about how these students are being blessed by the gospel in their lives, and they all have family members who want nothing to do with it. Nonetheless, they are being given the opportunity even if they reject it. We all have ancestors who were not given the chance while alive for whom we are doing baptisms for the dead. The Atonement truly makes us equal when it is all said and done.

My point in bringing this up is how cool it is that the Spirit cares enough about what we are doing to speak up and tell us how it should go. We seem like such an unimportant group; why bother? It builds my testimony in how important each of Father's children are to Him.

I am grateful for the ways in which my calling helps me to grow. I never progress as much as I do when I am teaching. I am grateful to be a member of a church that requires a lay ministry. When I belonged to other churches with paid ministry, I never experienced this kind of growth. I know this is one of the marks of the true church on the earth today; no church with a paid ministry can be the Lord's Church. (As a side note, I like how Nephi defines "paid ministry"; he calls it "priestcraft". Seems a little harsh, does it? Think about it!)

What a Beautiful Earth We Have

2008-11-03T18:19:00.005-04:00

There really is nothing much going on. I feel as though I should write so that I can get in the habit of it. There was a lesson in Relief Society yesterday on doing more regular record keeping. The point was made that although it may seem mundane to us, it may not be that way to others that read it after us.

There is so much talk these days about a crash. I think people are more frightened now than they were in 1999 just before the year changed over. There was a lot of talk then about everything failing, but it didn't happen. It does seem to be happening now. When Wall Street is affected, that is when we know we are in a little bit of a spot.

Now is the time when we can look back and wonder if we have done everything we could to be prepared. We think of all the warnings we had to not get into debt, but we thought surely we will have time to dig ourselves out before times get really bad.

I am wondering who it affects the worst. I think the really wealthy get the worst end of it. The poor just keep surviving as they have always done; things aren't really that different for them.

I'm not sure where I fit into that picture. How would I fare if there was no money to be had? Well, I wouldn't be able to pay car payments. I don't think that would bother me too awful much. If I was never able to leave my home, I don't think I'd be too bad off. Not as much fun, but then, you can't really say that. Without work, there would be more time to do the things we really want to do at home but don't have the time for.

Probably we would have to redefine "fun". We've gotten that way stretched out. Maybe we should look at it as enjoyment more than fun. There are a lot of things that are very enjoyable that might not have the label of fun.

Like sitting outside on a cool fall evening watching the sunset...
Walking through the garden discovering how many sweet potatoes are buried under the vines...
Taking a walk with your granddaughter as she points out all her friends - the beautiful flowers she likes so much...
Helping your grandson take pictures, even if they aren't of anything spectacular...
Like having your students tell you that was the best lesson ever...
Like having a graduated student call you to tell you she found the best job ever...
Like biting into a big, juicy tomato...
Rubbing each other's backs and feet...
Playing a rousing game of Canasta or Scrabble or Boggle...
Relaxing at the baseball park watching a grand slam from one of your favorite players...
Watching one of your loved ones eat something you've made and really enjoy it...
Knitting and watching the fabric grow on your needles...
Discovering a butterfly chrysalis...
Watching the waves and discovering a porpoise in the horizon...
Cutting open a perfect avocado...
Tasting the first fruit of the season (every season!)...
Starfish...
Rain falling softly...

As I think about it, the few things that disrupt our earthly utopia are such a small part of our world, I wonder why we give them so much credence. The earth is a wonderful place. Whatever the evil powers that be have planned, we will weather it somehow.

Ants

2008-10-31T18:05:00.008-04:00

I put my blogspot on my homepage so I would remember to update it more often. Come to find out it is not the forgetting it that keeps me from posting - it is not having the time to put into it what I want. I have loads of pictures I want to upload right now, and because I don't have time, I put off updating. Seems kind of stupid in a way. The object is not necessarily to entertain anyone - the object is to keep a record of what is going on. Two week entries are not going to cut it.

Since my last entry a lot has happened. Some very negative things are in our lives right now, and we are having a hard time dealing with them on a superficial level, but not on an internal level; it is kind of weird.

Have you ever watched ants when you disrupt their hill? At first they scurry around like crazy doing whatever it is their job to do, but the next thing you know, they are doing what they usually do. Things get back to normal really quickly. They don't spend any time agonizing over the crisis.

I feel like an ant. I have to keep putting out fires. Some just keep burning, and don't seem extinguishable. Others can be resolved, and we just keep working until the next crisis. Like the ants, I don't seem to have the ability to keep the problems at bay. I do not seem able to "see it coming". Instead, I just sit there waiting for the next moron who wants to come along and smash my hill.

The economy is striking hard right now, and we are really trying to not spend our pennies. Coincidently, we have been on a rampage to clean up our "hill" and in so doing have found a lot of stuff we are selling and/or giving away. It feels good for the "hill" to not be so cluttered. Should the heel-grinding get really bad, we can more easily move a small amount of personal belongings.

(Can you tell I've been watching ants this afternoon. I just planted arugula, lettuce, and celery; a group of ants had the nerve to build a hill in an area I had been planning to plant in. No, I didn't smash their hill, but I did throw a little dirt on it as I planted my stuff next to it. Maybe we can live together cooperatively? In my experience, the odds of that are negligible, but I am forever the optomist.)

Because of the number of students who have elected not to pay tuition at Deseret Academy, we have been forced to reduce our staff to just Roger and me. We had hoped at one time that it would provide at least a part-time income for all of our children, but it doesn't appear possible right now. As we have tried to keep this "dream" alive, we have gone into debt. We were free and clear of all debt but a school loan just a couple of years ago, but now we find ourselves in pretty deep. I should have done this months ago when I was first prompted, but now I will have to suffer the consequences of not listening. Those consequences come in more ways than just financially because at least one of my children is very angry at us for doing this. I feel very lonely right now.

Of course, with just Roger and I taking on all of the responsibilities for our school, there is added work. There are times when I ask myself if it is worth it. I still don't know the answer.

Another challenge we are having is with my mentally challenged brother-in-law. He has been living in his mother's condiminium since her death 7 years ago. We have been getting phone calls and e-mails from the condo managers saying that he can no longer live there due to behavior problems he has been having. When we talk to Roger's dad and his brother, they assure us all is well. It has been very confusing. We finally arranged a trip there last weekend to see if we could clear up some things.

What a shock we had! The apartment is in horrible condition and is unlivable at present. It will probably cost us $20,000 to make the necessary repairs. Even then we may not be able to sell it because there is such a depressed market right now. We had to move Randy into an assisted living facility in Ft. Lauderdale, but he has left twice trying to return to the apartment. His case worker called to tell me they are moving him to another facility in the hopes he will be happier.

A big problem is that the neighbors are telling the authorities that we are stealing everything from Randy including his non-existent trust fund and "his" apartment. The APS case worker has told me they have lodged an abuse complaint against us, and we will be investigated. Isn't that lovely?

The odd thing about that is that Randy spent every cent his mother left him (which was about $17,000, we think) within a month after she passed away. She had planned on it taking care of him for a long time. Plus he took everything out of the safety deposit box which contained things he and Roger were supposed to share (not sell, mind you) and pawned them. We have no idea where the money went as he would not tell us. We assume he was conned as he has nothing to show at his home for it.

The apartment he has been living in is to be shared with his brother, Roger. Instead of being able to share in it, Roger has had to foot all of the bills for it, including a $300+ maintenance fee and untold "assessments". He also pays the light bill, and anything else that comes up. Some of these maintenance fees never made it to the bank apparently as the condominium association is also suing us for 1 1/2 years worth of unpaid fees. We supplied the attorney with our bank statements and cancelled checks, so that should not be a problem. They have actually put the condominium into foreclosure, I think. We may end up having to live in it ourselves before it is all over.

Like the ants, I feel completely powerless over the mightier powers that be. I feel oblivious to their power except for when they are stepping on me and trying to destroy what peace I try to make for myself. I just want to live simply and quietly, trying to take care of what responsibilities I percieve to be mine. How naive I am thinking I can just plop down in this particular garden bed!

Facebook

2008-10-15T20:20:00.007-04:00

I know this is pretty random, but I really like Facebook. I have been thinking a lot about technology. Not even considering the advancements since I have been alive, I was talking to my grandson about the advancements that were made since HIS dad was born in 1973. Of particular interest to Wyatt were the video games. Remember pong? If you do, you are giving away your age. Atari was an incredibly primitive system compared to the video games of today, but you'd have thought my son had died and gone to heaven when we got our first system. I think he was about 10...

And video tapes. To say that video recordings are an improvement today would be a gross understatement. I think every one of them we ever had ended up in the garbage as the tape split one too many times. We even would take them apart and "splice" them with scotch tape, but that got pretty old after a while.

I also lived in the time of 8 track tapes which led to the cassette tape which had a pretty long run. I can remember being at my aunt's house one time, and she had a reel to reel player which was the forerunner of the 8 track tape. Talk about labor intensive. Of course, all the home movies were on reels as well, and that went well into my high school years and beyond.

Of course those were simpler days. I don't even know what was on television during the day because we NEVER watched daytime TV. I think they had game shows and soap operas, but we didn't watch it. If we were home, we were studying or playing outside or reading. Those are all three foreign concepts for children today. Most of the students in our school had no idea how to study when they came to us, and many of them are unable to read with any degree of proficiency when we get them. The math and communication skills of our nation's children are shockingly inadequate for ANY job, no less for the kinds of jobs needed to keep a country going.

Every presidential year, I think how sad it is that we are producing a nation full of citizens who don't know how to think. Of course, when one doesn't think, one is unable to reason. That can be very dangerous if the unthinking, unreasoning individual decides to cast his unthoughtful, unreasonable ballot. I wonder how the founding fathers would feel if they saw the campaign commercials being run that are directed totally at an American public who will not see through the propaganda.

Gee, I guess I found my soapbox. Facebook. I was going to tell you how much I like it. I have a few friends that have found their way to it. I had my account for awhile before I realized the advantages of it. I hope more of friends will too. The thing I like about it is that I can keep up with my friends without having to actually see them or even talk to them. It's as if they are publishing their own little newsletter for me to read each day. You know, like Christmas card newsletters. You know how we all love to catch up on what our friends are doing each year.

Of course, you might ask yourself why do I care what they are doing if I don't get to actually spend time with them. Well, that too is a sign of the times. Who has time to visit anymore?

Another thing I really like about it is that I can update my "status" each day, so it acts as a little journal entry. Since I am far too lazy to actually keep a journal, this works well for me.

I have even decided to use a myspace page to log my seminary lessons so that I will have a permanent record of what I taught when. Kinda late for that. I'd like to see what I would have written when I first started teaching a hundred years ago. I started it because one of my students has temporarily moved to Texas, and it will serve as a way for her to keep up with her lessons.

I also like facebook because I can update and catch up with my friends and family in my car on my mobile phone. I spend a lot of time in the car, so it helps me feel like I am making better use of this formally unproductive time. (Roger usually drives, and we go most places together.) We tried listening to talk CD's, but Roger and I don't like to listen to the same things. In fact, we don't listen to anything as Roger likes to spend time in the car talking. No fear, I can talk, listen, and facebook! I am a very good multi-tasker. One has to be these days. Computers may have made our work simpler, but now we have a lot more of it!

I remember when that first became a word: multi-tasker. It was when home computers started making it on the scene.

Home computers! Don't get me started. I had one of the first calculators ever produced by Texas Instruments in 1974 (I think). It was quite large by today's standards. Heck, I even have a calculator "application" on my cell phone. That first calculator was not solar or cordless; if you couldn't plug it in, you had to use the slide rule. Yes, I admit it: I went all the way through Chem I & II, Physics, Trig & Anal. Lit. Geometry with a slide rule. I couldn't use one of them now if my life depended on it. Can you even buy those things anymore? I remember all of the sine and cosines had to be in the appendix because that was the only way to do geometry back then.

And telephones have changed a tad as well... I remember when phone numbers began with an exchange; ours was "ludlow"; LU, I think. My aunt's was "jackson" JA. Area codes were only when you had to call out from yours, and our area codes covered much larger geographical areas, so that wasn't very often.

Our phones all had the curly cord thing which meant we didn't travel very far away from the phone while we were talking on it. It also meant we didn't talk all that long because we had to get stuff done that was farther away than where the phone could reach. We also had rotary dials. I bet most young people don't even know what that is!

We didn't have to wear seat belts in our cars because cars didn't have them. Of course, we didn't have express ways for local travel, so no one drove very fast anyway.

It really is shocking to think how many things have changed in the 50+ years I have been on this earth. One has to think that if things changed like this every 50 years, the cave man is not too hard to imagine. The fact is that civilization didn't change all the much technologically for thousands of years. I think the printing press was the invention that changed all that because once mankind could read, it opened up previously unavailable paths. So now the circle is complete: in the next generation will our leaders be readers? If not, they will close many paths leading to many wonderful opportunities. I don't want to think what our civilization will be like without readers.

Of course, if I can keep improving on my hermit-like existence, I won't know about it, right? All I will know is what I surround myself with: books, books, and more books with plenty of technology thrown in there to enhance the communication experience.

Do you know that plastics came into usage during my lifetime? But that's a discussion for another day...

committment

2008-10-13T12:26:00.000-04:00

Good old Steve. I love his slant on things. Please visit Darius' blog to follow this thread as this is a good summary of it.

http://trunkybeat.blogspot.com/2008/09/you-might-be-raw-foodist-when.html

(While you're there, sign up for the feed. He's very insightful and fun to read. Of course, I might be prejudiced...)

I actually started sun gazing Saturday after I heard the lecturer, Ken Rohla (http://beyondrawfood.com/blog/), talk about it earlier that day. I actually believe one could be a breatharian, but it will have to wait until I am ready to give up my current addiction: delicious raw food.

RE: $5 a day - that is $150 a month; I believe if one were willing to garden and sprout a lot, that number could go down significantly. I am also trying to learn to eat wild plants more which cuts down on the work and money spent. There are a lot of raw fooders who are past the initial novelty phase that eat very simply and very cheaply.

Re: cost. Health insurance is very expensive these days, and we won't even talk about health care. Even with co-pays, people I know spend a small fortune. The re-investment of those dollars into a more healthful lifestyle would save more than money. Darius again, would have a thing or two to say about that since his last bout with cancer.

I don't keep track of what I spend, but I know that just not eating at fast food places and restaurants has saved me tons. I really don't enjoy going out anymore - to eat - that is. I love going out to other kinds of activities that I never did much when I was a SADist. Even going to raw food restaurants I think of more as an educational investment as I try to eat things I've never made or sometimes never even heard of.

For example, Saturday, at the lecture, I had a samosa. I'd never eaten any Indian food before so was not sure what to expect. Kasey, the chef at Present Moment, came out and showed me how to MAKE the coconut wrappers. They were tasty and definately a special event type food for me anyway.

I went to a seminary inservice meeting the other day, and our lesson was on becoming converted to the gospel through this conversation:

Do you get it?
Do you feel it?
Do you love it?
Are you willing to live it?

All of these steps must be followed before one can say they are converted. I strongly believe eating a more plant based and natural diet is part of the Word of Wisdom, and it is an important part of my testimony of the gospel. I know that sounds extreme to some, but I think if we truly get it (the gospel), our lifestyle choices must be examined to see if they are in sync with it. Feeling it, loving it, and actually being willing to do it follow right along.

I need to post a new pic of Roger than the one in the previous post...he's under the 250 pound mark! That is the smallest he has weighed in at least 30 years. He looks amazing! He is becoming a little vain, actually!!!!

just a little overwhelmed

2008-09-22T11:19:00.005-04:00

I can't say that a day goes by when I don't think to myself, "I really need to write that down in my blog." Oftentimes lately I've said this 2 or 3 or 4 times a day. It has literally been a whirlwind of amazing events in my life since I last recorded anything. It is so frustrating as I don't imagine I will ever be able to capture these events.

The last time I wrote was just after my birthday. That seems eons ago right now, but it has only (?) been 5 weeks. Since then I have:

Gone to Green Bay, Wisconsin with Roger, Darius, and Alicia.

Gone to New York City with Roger, Darius, and Alicia.

Started back teaching early morning seminary (6:15 a.m. M - F).

Watched 2 Hurricanes threaten the Florida coasts, or was it 3?

Had so many inspirational moments I cannot begin to count them.

Rode several emotional roller coaster rides with Dorian and his family.

Booked a Bahamas cruise for Dorian and his family in November for Dorian's birthday.

Planned a trip to New York City AGAIN for this coming Thursday through Monday (school break) where I will participate in a raw food class with a chef we met at our last outing to NY (Raw Soul).

Been on the amazing NY subway system and become convinced that there was a genius behind its development.

Ridden a train (from NJ to Grand Central Station).

Been to a Mets game.

Been to a Packers game and toured their museum and stadium (awesome even if you are not a fan - did you know the Packers are the only public owned sports team?).

Watched the Daytona Cubs win the Florida State League championship (minor league high A).

Sorrowed about the Dodgers leaving Jacksonville only to be replaced by the Marlins...

Purchased season tickets to the Daytona Cubs for the 2009 season.

Attended the Orlando temple.

Visited the Manhattan temple.

Ate lunch at the Quintessence and Raw Soul restaurants in Manhattan - absolutely amazing (everything you've heard about the food in NYC is understated - it is amazing).

Gone to farmer's markets (one of my personal favorite activities) in Green Bay (where they had the most amazing little tomatoes I have ever eaten) AND Union Square (Manhattan).

Learned about the "Amigos for Christ" (http://www.amigosforchrist.org/). (This was a whole blog entry in itself. I usually avoid these kinds of booths at fairs and farmer's markets, but I kept finding myself being drawn to it. I purchased some journals for my seminary students and Orion. It is neat to think of Kathy Fox and her son going to Nicaragua to help build houses everytime I see the journals.)

Gone to Times Square.

Ridden the L train and lived to tell about it.

Attended a Spanish branch in Green Bay.

Taught an institute lesson to about 30 college aged kids in Jacksonville (Matt. 13). Realized myself that this chapter with 8 parables is Jesus' prophecies regarding the gathering of Israel.

Had a grandma camp for Wyatt during one of the hurricanes. Learned he loves corned beef hash and watching dolphins at Marineland.

Visited a 3 story Toys R Us in NY with a ferris wheel in the middle of it.

Bought some new clothes at an awesome Goodwill in Green Bay. Threw out old, way too baggy clothes.

Discovered LaraBars.

Locked ourselves out of Dorian's house while we staying with the children and had to call a locksmith. Upside: it was a stunningly beautiful night under the stars. We could even see the Milky Way!

Harvested the most awesome watermelons I've ever eaten along with tomatoes, cucumbers, parsley, and peppers, not to mention learning to eat more of the wild edibles our property produces. Chickweed, our most plentiful weed, is a daily salad addition now.

Learned to make a few raw salad dressings that we actually like. We've almost weaned Roger off the thousand island.

Made an incredible raw garbanza bean sprout hummus. I don't think anyone else liked it as much as I did, but I loved it! (Which is unusual - I'm not usually crazy about stuff like that, especially raw beans.)

Well, I suppose there is more, but you get the idea. And I haven't even gone into any of my spiritually uplifting moments.

I will share my most recent. I have been thinking about the China Study lately - written by Dr. Colin Campbell. I have been trying to think of ways to share the information in it with others. I have finally gotten over my anger over being brainwashed all of my life as to the foods I have eaten which are very unhealthy. I was remembering back in the 70's how there were lots of commercials for cigarettes on TV. Most were very enticing, and I'm sure not a few people started smoking as a result of the propaganda. Once the surgeon general came out with the statement that smoking could lead to lung cancer, laws were passed which restricted cigarette advertising. People still continued to smoke of course, but often times, people started smoking because it was the rebel thing to do.

Now that smoking is seen as such a health hazard, I assume fewer people are beginning the habit, but I don't know the statistics. My point has nothing to do with smoking except to say that I see our food habits changing along those same lines. It is undeniable the harm that is caused by certain foods, especially processed and/or high fat foods. Of course, people persist in eating them for a couple of reasons: they induce feelings of satisfaction; they are addicted to them; they think the research is a bunch of rubbish; and it is the rebel thing to do.

The China Study outlines 45 years of research that determined "even relatively small intakes of animal based foods (from 0% to 20% of total calories) could encourage biological processes that, over a lifetime, would give rise to higher risks for a wide variety of diseases typically found in Western societies (e.g. cancers, cardiovascular diseases, diabetes, etc.)."

My a-duh moment came yesterday as I was thinking of what I should prepare for the Relief Society sisters in terms of preparedness. I was thinking about the Word of Wisdom (Doctrine and Covenants 89). I remembered that when this revelation was given to Joseph Smith during the 19th century, the word caffeine had not even been invented yet. No one knew the harmful effects of alcohol, caffeine, or nicotine. The early saints that obeyed the Word of Wisdom simply out of faith. It wasn't until the 20th century that science learned about the harmful drugs in these foods commonly consumed by most Westerners.

Now, here we are in the 21st century. Dr. Campbell, and others, have done extensive studies that have again proven the Word of Wisdom to be true.

10. And again, verily I say unto you, all wholesome herbs God hath ordained for the constitution, nature, and use of man—
11. Every herb in the season thereof, and every fruit in the season thereof; all these to be used with prudence and thanksgiving.
12. Yea, flesh also of beasts and of the fowls of the air, I, the Lord, have ordained for the use of man with thanksgiving; nevertheless they are to be used sparingly;
13. And it is pleasing unto me that they should not be used, only in times of winter, or of cold, or famine.
14. All grain is ordained for the use of man and of beasts, to be the staff of life, not only for man but for the beasts of the field, and the fowls of heaven, and all wild animals that run or creep on the earth;
15. And these hath God made for the use of man only in times of famine and excess of hunger.
16. All grain is good for the food of man; as also the fruit of the vine; that which yieldeth fruit, whether in the ground or above the ground—
17. Nevertheless, wheat for man, and corn for the ox, and oats for the horse, and rye for the fowls and for swine, and for all beasts of the field, and barley for all useful animals, and for mild drinks, as also other grain.

I am amazed at how we look at verse 12 and see it as a license to kill animals daily for our food when verse 13 so clearly indicates it is only supposed to be during extreme conditions of hardship. True also for grains (vv. 14 AND 15).

My a-duh moment came when I realized the scientific research is here now to substantiate these unpopular teachings. It is being received as negatively as it was when cigarettes were found to be bad. We don't like change! We want to keep doing what we're doing even when it doesn't work. Just as the people in Joseph Smith's time found it hard to give up addictive substances, so are we. It doesn't matter how much evidence there is to the contrary, WE personally are going to beat the odds.

Unfortunately, the dialysis labs and cancer clinics and cemetaries are full of our loved ones who did not beat the odds. It is likely some of us aren't going to either if we don't make an effort to change. While we all have to die, I agree with Sister Davis' 97 year uncle who said, "If I'd have known I was going to have to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." I assume he meant he would have enjoyed a better quality of life in his older years if he had taken better care of himself.

Dr. Oz has introduced a concept known as "biological age". Everyone of us who is eating poorly and not exercising has a biological age far beyond our chronological one. The degree to which we are hyper-aging depends upon our degree of overconsumption of foods that detract from our health. According to the 45+ years of research from Dr. Campbell, "One of the most direct ways to think about which foods to favor is to consider the concept of 'nutrient richness'; ... it is clear to me that these are the whole plant foods: whole vegetables, beans, fruits, raw nuts and seeds, and cereal grains. This also means that, as much as possible, we should avoid or minimize the consumption of any foods that stray from this group. These include animal foods and fragments of plant-based foods (like sugar, white flour, oil) that are used to make 'junk' foods."

I am grateful for a-duh moments. They never sound quite so profound on paper as they do when I have them because I am not able to write with the same intensity and energy with which it is delivered by the Holy Ghost.

If you have not already read the report by Dr. Campbell, please do so. I have a PDF summary of it I can e-mail you. I'm off to finish off the hummus with some crunchy celery sticks.

New York, New York

2008-09-15T08:15:00.009-04:00

Birthday Fun, Good Times, Good Times

2008-08-11T11:34:00.009-04:00

While doing my garden walk through today, I saw a dark something or other in the sweet potatoes, so I stopped to look. There was this beautiful butterfly emerging from its chrysalis, so I ran to get my camera to capture it before it flew away. When I first saw it, it was still damp. By the time I got my camera, it had dried off quite a bit, so I'm sure it was going to ready to fly off soon. Isn't it beautiful? Just another blessing from doing my daily "chores".

I'm sure better authors than I have done some brilliant parables regarding the butterfly as he emerges from the chrysalis, but I can't help but see this wonderful phenomenon as a type of our lives. I won't bore you with the analogy. I just hope you will spend some time today thinking about it!

I had a great weekend with my family. I celebrated my birthday, and Dorian and his family as well as Darius and Alicia joined me in Daytona. We spent some time at the beach, shopping, playing games, and watching baseball. It was great. A big thank you goes out to those who joined me for making it special for me.

It has been an issue for our family, this food thing. In the past, when we have had family activities, they have been very food centered. In fact, when we rented houses for everyone to stay together for a couple of days, our main activity has been preparing various dishes to show off our culinary skills. Since we have made some dietary changes, we have had a hard time finding other activties to replace our previous ones, and it has been a real challenge.

When the children were little, we used to play games. Granted, many of them were sedentary as we were too fat to do many physical games with them. Once Dorian became a teenager, we didn't have as many family activities as he spent a lot of time with his friends. The younger boys and I spent a lot of time doing 4-H projects and running the store. Roger worked his regular job and worked at the store after he got off work, so there wasn't a lot of leisure time although we did spend a lot of time together.

The point being, we lost a lot of the game playing we used to do. I had the bright idea to play some games at my birthday party, and it seemed that everyone had a good time. It didn't take up the time having a feast would have, and I'm sure some didn't enjoy it as much as they would have enjoyed the traditional Bar-B-Q, but I did the best I could coming up with family unifying things. When I am with the grandchildren, they enjoy playing card games and doing crafts, going to movies, and such, so that is working out ok. It is the big kids that are hard to amuse!

I am going to start a file of games that we can pull out at a moment's notice. I'm not good at remembering this kind of stuff, so I have to write it down. I used to have some great books when the children were young, so I'll have to dig some of that up. I'll bet it would help if I started a prize box too!

Yesterday at church, I had to give a talk in Spanish. I didn't do very well for the talk part, but I guess my testimony part was ok. I wish I knew more verbs and nouns. I still struggle with conjugating in the past and present tense as well. We had a nice treat as well as Darius was the 2nd speaker, and he did a great job. He used Alma 37 as the basis for his talk with the Anti-Nephi-Lehis and their committment to not pick up weapons of war once they were converted to the gospel. When we are committed to something, amazing things can happen. The Spanish members love hearing a gringo give talks in Spanish, especially when they can actually understand him!

3 of the Spanish sisters gave me gifts. It is very humbling when they do that as I know that their means are very slim. They always remember me on my birthday and at Christmas. They are truly a blessing in my life. I consider them my friends as well as my sisters even though the language barrier prevents us from sharing as many things from our hearts as we would if we could communicate better. It truly speaks to the fact that we communicate more from our heart. I love the card from Graciela. The card was Spanish, and of course, she signed it in Spanish "para mi amiga y hermana".

Volunteers

2008-08-06T17:57:00.008-04:00

Doesn't all this greenery look lush and beautiful? This is our volunteer sweet potato patch. We planted NONE of these plants. They all volunteered to be in our garden this year based on some roots left over when we picked last year. This is truly a beautiful stand. Isn't it neat thinking that there is food under it? You can never starve when you have a garden.

I was thinking this morning as I combed the garden and yard for weeds that I might be going crazy. Surely anyone knowing what I was doing would think so. I have even potted some up to show to a friend who knows wild plants. I decided though that it doesn't matter what they are. I know the big danger is that I might juice something poisonous, so it is more important to know what plants we shouldn't be eating. I think I know those, so I am not worrying about it. I don't think I have anything poisonous in my yard.

Just to be safe, though, I only add one different kind a day. That way if it does make me sick, I'll know not to use it again. It is all getting a little blurry though, so if I'm serious about this method, I should be a little more systematic about it. The other worry would be that the plants picked might not taste good. I have not found that to be the case, surprisingly. I heard someone say you should taste the plant to see if it tastes good, and if it tastes good, then pick it for your salad or green drink. That wouldn't work for me. One of the things I've been putting in my drink is something I don't like to take bites of: aloe. It is weird how the plants have a good flavor when they are all mixed together. One day there was a slight bitter taste, but it was not unappealing. Maybe my tastes are changing. I suppose if you're used to soda pop and Koolaid, my green juice might not appeal to you at all.

Last night when I got home from work, Roger parked in a little bit different place. When I got out of the van, there was a beautiful dandelion plant. I was thrilled and couldn't wait to pick it today. Most people have tons of dandelions, but we don't here for some reason. All the organic stores sell dandelion greens, so they are being cultivated nowadays. I really like them. I would plant them in my garden, but that seems really absurd...isn't it? One of the other things I like about picking weeds for my drink is that it is hard in the summer time to find greens for juicing here in Florida. Lettuces and other greens thrive in the winter time, and we have more than we can ever use. That dries up as soon as the spring heat sets in. I think I had lettuce this year until about April. So being able to pick weeds that don't seem to mind the heat at all is a nice boon. Likewise, the weeds don't thrive as much in the wintertime, although there are some.

One thing I've noticed in my daily collection walks is that different things sprout at different times. I know this sounds obvious, but right now there are thousands of tiny weeds sprouting that waited until this particular time to do so. Some of the others are waning (not too many though). Some weeds only grow in certain areas. It is very interesting.

One thing I have been picking the last couple of days is volunteer watermelon sprouts. Roger emptied some of our compost bin into a couple of our raised beds. We started doing that a few years ago when our bins were full but our boxes were lying fallow. (Nature abhors a vacuum, don't you know?) We've been eating a lot of watermelon since our garden is producing so much, and the volunteers are producing far more than can ever survive as plants, so I am thinning them for my daily drink. Then I had a bright idea while eating my watermelon today: why not save the seeds, rinse them off, and plant them in my little sprout planting system (like I do the sunflower seeds). I think they taste similar. They are good in the drink, anyway.

It makes me think we buy a lot more stuff than we need, especially when it comes to food. There is an old pioneer saying: make it do or do without. We have truly lost sight of that in our current economic plenty. Perhaps our tight money times will lead us back to that way of living.

Personal Development for Smart People

2008-08-04T14:56:00.008-04:00

While it's fresh on my mind, I'd like to give a heads up to Steve Pavlina. I've known about him for about 6 months now, but I have tread lightly trying to figure out if he is for real or not. He makes a living out of helping people improve themselves, and he sells a lot of self-improvement type books and products. My reason for mentioning him is that I find his business model pretty interesting. I believe he has gotten into this business by his own self-improvement lifestyle. Each month he does a 30 day trial of something he sees as an area he would like to improve in his life. He has some pretty interesting trials. He started doing this in 1993. He said he got the idea from the shareware industry where they will let you download software on a 30 day trial basis.

In the self-improvement vein, he uses the rationalization that anyone can do anything for 30 days. If you find out after the 30days is over that you don't want to continue the activity, you can do so, but you commit at the onset that you will stick to the plan for the designated 30 days. Some of his trials he has adopted, and others he has let go. His criteria for accepting the practice is interesting as well: if his life is improved with the new habit or activity, he will continue doing it. (There was one trial he did with sleep habits that did vastly improve his life, but he felt like it was too difficult to implement into his schedule and his family's schedule.)

Here is his website:
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/04/30-days-to-success/

He gives a list of suggested 30 day trials. He chronicles his 30 day activities on his blog: http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/

I don't read his stuff every day, but I am definately fascinated by his methods. I think the business model is one that could be emulated as well. I have always believed we would have a better country if people were not so dependent on "the man" for how they support themselves. There is only one way to make a living, and it is by depending on ourselves, our gifts, our talents, our enthusiasm, our energy, and our smarts. While the income may not be as dependable as a traditional job, it is more rewarding in lots of other aspects. Of course, that goes back to the old adage that "money isn't everything". Of course, for some people, money IS everything, so none of the other perks mean anything to them.

For me, the biggest advantage is that I can schedule my time to do what I want to do. Yes, I have to schedule time to do the actual work needed to keep my business going, but because I like doing this work (usually), that is not a difficult thing to do. Of course, if one is self-employed, the choice should be something that is enjoyed enough that time will want to be spent doing it.

I am actually trying to change this up a bit right now. I am feeling impressed to move on. I am not sure where this will end up, but I am sure it is going to happen as I follow the direction into which I am being led.

Isn't life a wonderful thing when someone like me can decide that I want to do something different, and then I can actually do it? I will be 55 this month, and I am sure this is a pattern I will follow all of my life.

I am always excited when something new looms on the horizon. Some of the best times in my life have been when change has brought me to a new place. I can remember almost all of them vividly. Even moving from being a single person to a married one, and then from a couple to a family are changes that make life more interesting. I definately am not one to sit in a stagnant pool. I can even recall times when as a child changes came about. When my sister(s) were born, the family dynamic changed. Moving from one house to another brought more exciting elements into our life as did my mother's choice of husbands. Joining the church was another amazing change of very long lasting consequence. Some changes were more welcome and enjoyed than others, but none the less, the element of change kept things hopping. I thrive on this apparently.

I never realized this until a couple of years ago when I knew there were going to be changes in my life. I could just feel it! As an adult, I have learned that I usually have an inkling that change is in the air if I listen closely enough to the spirit. I usually don't know what the change will entail, nor do I know which area of my life it will affect, but I know to look for it and consequently welcome it as something that will benefit my life.

I forget about the fact that something good will come of it when the change comes in a difficult, challenging manner. I tend to think of it as an O-Crapper until I see the intended result down the line. Such has been the state of affairs in the last year of my life. It has been an incredible roller coaster ride that didn't look like it would be very much fun at the beginning. Still not sure about some of it, but I'm trying to have faith!

The fact is that change (and the resulting positive benefits) NEVER comes without a price. Sometimes we might decide that price is too high for the benefits we see that might be attained. Unfortunately, we cannot always see all the benefits, and this limited eyesight causes us to sidestep something that could bring many great things into our lives. Other times, change is thrust upon us. We try to hide from it if it is seemingly unpleasant, but we will not reap the benefits until we fully embrace it, pain and all.

Isn't this aversion to pain and discomfort a funny thing? For me, it has really caused me to waste a lot of time while I tried to avoid them. Ultimately, the pain and discomfort don't go away; they are temporarily assuaged until I accept their reality and succomb to it. As I get older, I would like to learn to consent earlier to the imagined unpleasantness as it is never as bad as I think it will be. (Real pain has come more often in ways I could not control.) Then I would be able to reap the benefits sooner without wasting the time avoiding something that never happens. That is a nice goal for this new year (decade? millenium??).

Summer Camp Comes to a Close

2008-07-31T13:43:00.003-04:00

Last day of summer camp for this year! Angelina got a nice certificate for her efforts and a ball with the signatures of all her coaches. At the beach on the way home, she found a starfish in one of the tide pools which certainly bodes well for her week.

I think she had a good time although I know she will be glad to be back home. I hope she can remember all the things she did so that she can tell her family about it. She is already talking about next year!

We went to the game last night; it was a double header, but she didn't make it through but a couple of innings before she was bored. Rich Hill pitched who is a player in rehab I think, but he was pretty stinky. Hope he hasn't quit his day job. I guess it will be a few years before baseball camp actually involves baseball!

I am trying to post videos on UTube, but it takes a long time. Most takes have to be done several times, so I don't know if it is my connection here at the hotel or my computer or the nature of the downloading beast.

The beach was absolutely gorgeous this morning and this afternoon. If not for the sun, I'm sure we could all stay there forever. I couldn't believe how temperate it was and how calm the water was. It really has been a nice time for all of us.

I found a health food store in Ormond Beach which is about 20 minutes away. It has a juice bar which is great along with organic fruits and vegetables. They also carry items made by Glaser Farms. This is a raw foods farm in Miami that ships dehydrated items through out the health food circuit. I bought a couple of treats for Roger and Darius. Love's Whole Food Market for those traveling in this area.

Summer Camp

2008-07-30T22:08:00.009-04:00

We're in beautiful Daytona Beach again at our first annual Grandma and Grandpa summer camp (girls first). The Daytona Cubs Single A ball club is hosting a baseball camp for ages 7 to 12, and we signed up Angelina to go. Instead of just running her home each day, we rented a room on the beach, and we are seeing the sights along with her morning "lesson". Today we went to see the sun rise before class started and went swimming this afternoon. It has been wonderful beach weather if you don't consider the daily afternoon thunderstorms. We also brought puzzles, crafts, and games to do in the "off" season. We are hoping this is something we can do each year with the grandchildren; we got the idea from Jac's mother who does this with her grands each year. It is a very smart idea!

I am trying to put some videos we made on UTube. Here is the URL I think:

http://www.youtube.com/user/desacad

If You Can't Beat 'Em, Eat 'Em!

2008-07-28T13:17:00.015-04:00

I've been wanting to write about this for some time, but many things have been going on. I'll update first, and then I'll hit my main topic.

July 18 - Our sweet Angelina had a birthday! She's 7 now. I can still remember her as a baby, so it is hard to believe she is so grown up. We had her party at the ball park in Daytona, and it was very nice. They gave her lots of attention which she loves.

July 27 - Darius turns 27 which seems even more incredible. I can still remember when he was born. I can remember gazing at him once when he was laying on his quilt at the foot of the stairs. He was always stretching like he was trying to fit into his new body. I wondered then as always how his life would turn out. Alicia had a nice party for him at the park on Forest and Beach. Alicia's mom, dad, and sister were there as well as Dorian and his family, Roger and I, and JaRay and his friend from Utah, Randy. It was nice, and the food was terrific.

July 27 - Sweet baby Brooklyn received her name and blessing in the Timaquana ward. She was blessed by her daddy, Orion, of course, and assisted by her two grandpas, two of her uncles (including Darius and Kevin (I think that is his name), Bro. Gavelin, and some other people I didn't know. It was very sweet. She started crying which makes me think she doesn't like all the attention like her grandma. (Come on, you've got to give me something here.)

On the baseball scene, we attended an end of the year dinner for the Suns this week and learned that the Dodgers would be leaving the Jaxsonville affiliate for a closer site out west as I previously predicted. It is disappointing for those of us who are Dodger fans, but we are hoping for bigger and better things for whichever team comes in. One of the players said that the Marlins were looking at this park; their current AAA affiliate is in New Mexico, so that seems like a strong possibility as noted in a previous blog entry. Not being a big Marlins fan, I would be more excited at seeing their opponents. The advantage of having a AAA affiliate is that there are only 2 leagues. Each major league team has one AAA affiliate, so when you are watching a AAA ball club through the season, you have the chance of seeing 1/2 of all the major league ball clubs during the year. These guys are only one step away from the majors as well, so that is exciting in itself.

The East coast AAA league is called the International League and has such great clubs as the Toledo Mudhens (made famous by Jamie Farr in MASH) and the Durham Bulls (also made famous by a movie, now that I think about it) as well as the Pawtucket Red Sox for those who love them. Not so fan friendly Yankees are included (the team we all love to hate); the Mets are in the Pacific League (for now anyway since they are in New Orleans which seems more eastern to me). Each year this stuff gets shuffled around so there are no guarantees, but this year the following teams are represented in the IL:

Cleveland Indians, Chicago White Sox, Washington Nationals, Tampa Bay Rays, Pittsburgh Pirates, Philadelphia Phillies, Cincinnati Reds, Baltimore Orioles, Boston Red Sox, Atlanta Braves, Minnesota Twins, NY Yankees, Toronto Blue Jays, and the Detroit Tigers. As I said, all of the other teams are in the Pacific League. I guess there is always a possibility that if the Marlins moved over to Jax, they would stay in the Pacific league. That would be weird though and a lot of travel for the western teams that had to go to their stadium. Currently they are flying to New Orleans though, so who knows? What do you think?

Jesus pitched Saturday night but received a no decision since the score was tied when he left after 7 innings. He won his previous game out of town. He seemed to be struggling at this outing with only 2 strike-outs in 7 innings. His ERA was 2.85 going into the game and is now at 2.99 which is still excellent.

On to main topic: Each morning that I am home, I work outside for as long as I can depending on my schedule. This is usually about 45 minutes, but if I only have 15 minutes, I don't feel badly about that. I am learning that the important thing is that I am out there every day if possible even if I just walk around. (I try to do that on Sunday; it is a wonderful Sabbath activity to sit on our garden benches and walk on the mulched paths.) There are a couple of benefits (besides the obvious) for being out there every day.

The obvious benefit is that more work gets done. It is very easy for a garden to get out of control with even a little neglect. I've learned that the hard way. It is amazing how easy it is to stay on top o it when you spend a little time out there each day.

That was my initial reason for setting that as a goal. Well, actually, my goal was to spend 15 to 20 minutes a day in the sun. During my juice feast I had committed to do that. When my friend, Geri, was visiting from Utah, she was telling me about a vitamin D deficiency she has, and I decided that my goal was a very important one I would try to maintain. What better way to get 15 to 20 minutes worth of sunshine than to spend a few minutes in the garden? I'm not much for walking aimlessly around a track. I've tried that MANY times in the past, and I really hate it. I thought about biking, but I haven't got a bike right now, so the garden won the toss.

I didn't expect many more benefits than ample Vitamin D production and a better tended garden, but something unexpected resulted. Each day I start out by pulling a few weeds and then I collect produce that is ready to eat. One day I decided to save back a few springs of the weeds I was pulling for the green drink I make for breakfast each day. I started out with weeds I knew were edible like sorrel and red raspberry leaf. Then I added one I didn't know figuring if it was not good for me, I'd know soon enough. (I made sure I showed it to Roger, so he could show it to the doctor in the event an anecdote was needed. See, I'm responsible.) Since then, I've added a few others. Today I was up to about 2 cups of weeds in my drink! Awesome, don't you think.

I am very interested in finding out what the unknown weeds are, and I have planted some in a pot to take to my friend, Leisa, who knows the wild edibles. I am going to mention it to others in our church branch who are hoping to be more self-sufficient.

You would not expect the drink to be good with weeds in it, but they are the tastiest ones I have ever made. Saturday I was not home, so I ordered one at the juice bar from Native Sun (minus the weeds, of course), and it was amazingly bland in comparison. Good enough, of course, but not as tasty as the weed-infested ones. I am very excited by this development, and I can't help but think of the benefits that come from drinking a green drink every day from produce just picked from the garden.

For those who would like to try it, here's my recipe:

1/2 cup water in the blender
several stalks of celery cut in 1 - 2 inch pieces

Whirr this up until celery is liquified. Add garden weeds. Whirr til liquified.

Then I add whatever produce was picked: tomatoes, banana peppers, a cucumber, some parsley, a sprig of fennel.

Grind til all is liquified on the highest speed. Some might like this as a smoothie, but I strain it through a nut mylk bag. The add some sol. (This is Himalayan Salt rocks put into suspension with water. You can use sea salt. It doesn't take as much as you might think. Go easy til you find out how much you want.)

Delicious, and you gotta think: Nutritious! I have so much energy from drinking this it is incredible. Let me know if you try it and what you think.

So, if the weeds in your garden are getting you down, if you can't beat 'em, eat 'em!

My next experiment is the grasses: could they possibly taste worse than wheat grass? I don't think so. That stuff invades my garden with no fear at all! Let's see how they are after they've been run through my wheat grass juicer!

Stretching is good

2008-07-18T11:14:00.008-04:00

We returned from our trip to the beautiful North Carolina area on Tuesday, but it was a couple of weeks too early. We really like that area; it is hard to come home.

The Southern League All-Star game was pretty interesting. We wanted to watch our Suns players who made to the All-Stars this year: Juan Gonzalez, Adam Godwin, Lucas May, James McDonald, Russell Mitchell, and Jesus Castillo.

Jesus is the pitcher we sponsor on the Suns, so we were especially anxious to see how he did. He seemed nervous before the game, so I am not sure he knew what to expect. Anyway, he had 2 people on base when the next hitter, Chris Coughlin, (who ended up with the MVP because of this play) had a 3 RBI home run. Then Jesus went on to be the only pitcher of the night to strike out the side. (At all-star games, the pitchers only pitch one inning.) The other Suns players did all right. Nothing special. The Northern division won as per usual.

Ivan deJesus, Jr. was a 2nd baseman on the world team Future game. He got on base a couple of times, but he was picked off when he tried to steal. That was a little painful. The World team shut out the American team.

It made me think about how we get used to our present level of activity. When we watch the Suns, we see certain players outshine their team mates and their opponents. Then when they are in a different venue, they are not as spectacular as they are in their comfort zone.

I think we are all like this. We accomplish what we think is our best given our current circumstances. When we put ourselves in the next level, we realize we need to stretch a little more. Until we get into that new, more difficult environment, we have no realization that more is possible, or even needed.

Stretching is good. Unfortunately, we resist it with every fiber of our being.

The Jonah Story

2008-07-14T09:31:00.002-04:00

We were asked to give talks yesterday at sacrament meeting (Crescent City Branch), but we were not given topics upon which to speak. It was a little bit of a challenge to think of something, but in my personal ramblings, I was prompted to look again at the story of Jonah. This was interesting because I was pursuing my personal demons and when prompted to read Jonah I thought that a bit odd ... until I started reading and pondering it.

It seems Jonah thought he could escape his call to preach to Ninevah by going to the other side of the continent via boat. It would be a physical impossibility if he wasn't there, right? But then the event with the storm happened and he was thrown off the ship, fully expecting to meet the God from whom he had tried to run away - face to face! Instead he is swallowed up by a big fish after much tossing in the seas. While in the fish's belly, he contemplates his situation and finally remembers he has made temple covenants through which he committed to do all he was asked to do to help the kingdom progress. He realizes that he no longer has the "right" to refuse to serve in any capacity. Once he recommits to do whatever is asked of him, he is spit out on dry land and goes on to teach the people of Ninevah (who, by the way, wholeheartedly accept the gospel).

An editorial comment is made that Jonah thought the Lord would not destroy Ninevah if he didn't go, so he did not see why he had to do it. The commentary makes the point that the Lord does carry out his promises, and he uses his servants to makes these promises known to his children. Without the warning, His children would never be accountable for their choices to obey or disobey.

As I was studying this, I realized this message was for me. As I have made covenants, I will be responsible for carrying them out. The Lord takes these covenants very seriously, more seriously than promises or good intentions. We, too, will be stuck in our fish's belly until we decide to keep the covenants we have made. So where is the free agency we are promised? We are, in fact, asked before we make our temple covenants, if we are doing them of our own free will or are we being coerced? Once we continue under the premise of free will, we relinquish the right to go back on our covenants, thus relinquishing "free agency" to choose otherwise. Of course, we can break our covenants, but not without promised consequences.

I shared this story at sacrament meeting by telling my experience with my knees and the covenant I made to not drink cola products. I am truly grateful to have a relationship with my Heavenly Father that allows for my continual improvement through covenant making. What an incredible thing it is to have this personal relationship with Him!

I was thinking of the blessing He gave us when Darius was diagnosed with the tumor. How grateful I was to share the newly found revelations with Alicia even though I was fearful that Darius would reject it. I was thinking about the covenant that I made in relation to that experience: "If He would tell me how to help Darius, I would give up refined sugar." This was a big step for me as sugar was my life! I have never really faced the reality of that covenant until I studied this passage again from Jonah. I was also surprised at how important it was to Heavenly Father that I give up cola products, or refined sugar. It helps me to understand that those substances must be holding me back from progressing, or He wouldn't care if I gave them up or not. I am sure I was inspired to give up the cola products. The inspiration came into my head directly in response to my plea to not have as much pain in my knees. The inspiration to take sugar out of my life was more a desparate plea based on the fact that it had to be something big to ask for something so important as my son's life. I was reminded that sugar was probably the biggest issue in my life at that time.

I am thinking that these trials have come upon me so that I would feel compelled to make the covenants I have made. Without the opposition, I would not have moved in that direction.

It is bothering me that I haven't made covenants that would help Dorian with his situation, but I am reminded that Dorian is the one in the deal-making seat with that one. Nor have I felt prompted to apply this covenant making process to my situation with Orion and his family. It appears that when it is time to make a covenant, the Lord will prompt me as to the nature of the covenant as well as the promise He will give. Where there is no current promise, there doesn't need to be a covenant. Apparently, we need to time to work out the particulars for a given covenant before we start on another one!

I need to bear my testimony on how amazing a process is revelation. I have read and taught the story of Jonah many times, but I have never had it unfolded to me as it was Saturday night. I felt as though I was sitting at the Master's feet showing me step by step how this applied in my life. I cannot not express the immensity of this experience, but I want to share that I do know He is listening, and somehow, He knows me and knows what I need. I can't comprehend how that can be, but I know it is true. I am grateful for the fullness of His love for me and His patience. I want to become the daughter I came to earth to learn to be, and I am frustrated at how stubborn and slow to learn I am, but somehow, He sticks with me and doesn't seem aggravated by my slowness. It is as if He is saying, "She'll get it eventually. Just give her a little more time." I hope I use my time wisely.

Better Watch This Guy...

2008-07-12T13:05:00.005-04:00

As you know, I don't usually blog about baseball leaving that up to the excellent bloggers that Darius and Dorian are about it, but I just can't keep quiet about this guy any longer. He has the best ERA of any pitcher on the Suns (except Clayton, and I'm not sure how that happened since last week he was sitting on a 4 something). He is the 4th best in the Southern League. Last night was rained out, but he pitched the top of the first inning with 2 strikeouts. I can't wait to see what he does tonight in the makeup game and at the All-Star Game on Monday. Go, Jesus!

Speaking of baseball, Roger and I were talking on the way home about how the stadium was built to accomodate a AAA team, and we were speculating on who that might be. I did a little research when I got home and discovered the Marlins are currently in Albuquerque, New Mexico, a long way from home. I'd love for the Mets to make Jacksonville their AAA home (they're in New Orleans now), but the Marlins would be ok I guess. I would miss my beloved Dodgers, but the writing is on the wall. They are trying to get all their affiliates out west, and of course, that is more reasonable, especially with transportation costs as high as they are.

A beautiful day for the beach

2008-07-11T13:05:00.002-04:00

I am amazed at all of the different information out there regarding health. It seems you can find a rationalization for every imaginable lifestyle. Brings to mind the fact that there is only one real source of truth. I guess I'd better get on my knees to get it figured out for me.

One source says too much fruit is bad; another says you can't eat too much fruit. One says juicing is great; another says, no, you need the fiber: do smoothies. One says if you start going raw there is no going back - to do so will do irreparable harm. Another says anything you do along the right path is good. It is really very overwhelming. On a given day I will have 10 e-mails in my mailbox each with a different opinion.

What it really boils down to is that we each must do what helps us to feel the best. Of course we struggle within the paradigm we set up, but we innately know (I really believe this) what we need to do. We may not do, at least not right this minute, but we know which direction we need to head into. I think we would be fine with this except that all the experts give us warnings on what disastrous results will happen if we don't follow their advice.

I had to laugh at a recent warning I received. On the page I opened was a U-tube of the well-respected professional telling me how disastrous my outcome would be if I chose a path different than he advised. On the page around the U-tube were advertisements for all the supplements he sells that he thought I should be taking instead of the real food choices I might be making. I think his listeners might listen better if they thought his motives were a little more sincere. I don't doubt that one could be healthy on his supplements; I just don't think that is the only way. Maybe there is a market for this if people want easier and faster than real food, I don't know. I remember when we were looking into alternative treatments for Darius, we were referred to a company who made a greens supplement. When Alicia called them and told them we were juicing everyday, they said, "Oh, you need to use our product. That juicing is so messy!" Indeed!

At one point I decided that if someone were trying to sell something I wouldn't bother listening, but that's not really fair either. I guess I need to depend on the Holy Ghost. I know I have been directed in the places I have gone to the people that helped me make lifestyle choices. I am grateful for that direction and hope it will continue. I do get overwhelmed sometimes by the choices, though.

Yesterday we went to the Halifax Hospital to see a friend in a coma from a car accident. It is the first time I have ever seen anyone in a coma. It is a little frightening. All the doctor shows on TV say that people in comas can still know what is going on around them, so I talked to him quite a bit, and Roger gave him a priesthood blessing as requested by the family. It was a tender few moments we spent with him, and I hope he comes out of it soon. His insides were pretty ripped up by the accident, so the coma is probably protecting him from the trauma and helping him to heal.

Afterwards we went to Publix to pick up some fruit and salad. We went to the boardwalk at the Daytona Beach to eat, and it was a pleasant meal. I really enjoy being at the beach. I wish we could make more time to do that.

"Real" Salad Dressing...

2008-07-09T20:33:00.003-04:00

I'm trying to get in the habit of daily blogging, but I'm having a hard time thinking of what to say today. That's not good. I found the CD from the Jason guy I blogged about yesterday; I had not heard any of his music. It is kind of similar to Jack Johnson's style. Today on the Rachel Ray show she did another short from Justin Kredible; this time he was teaching children how to like fruits and vegetables better, especially in trying to get them to try new vegetables. He encouraged them to use dips and such if that would make them more enticing. (He poured caramel sauce on the romaine; the kids loved that!)

I remember something Anna Marie Clement said while we were at Hippocrates. She said they had a little girl there who was not eating. When Ms. Clement asked her why, she said she didn't like salad without "real" salad dressing. Ms. Clement went to the grocery store and bought one of every kind of salad dressing. She said eating salad with store-bought dressing is better than not eating any salad at all. Needless to say, the little girl finally started eating and was a very happy camper after that.

That is probably the hardest thing for me: "real" salad dressing. When I say "real", of course I am talking about the salad dressings I have been eating all my life. I have always liked salad, but now I realize it is the salad dressings that have made them so appealing to me prior to my current dietary changes. I am experimenting with live foods to dress my salads; last night I mixed avocado and 1/2 a ponderosa lemon from our tree outside. It was okay as I really wanted some greens, but it is not as satisfying, shall we say, for lack of a better word.

What was satisfying was all the home grown produce in our salad: cucumber, tomato, and pepper. They are all doing great for the time being.

Today I did not eat a salad as I was starving when we got home from work. I just had a peach and a large slice of our giant watermelon. I have been trying not to eat late at night, so I won't have anything else tonight.

Currently reading: Raw Spirit by Matt Monarch. Awesome. I read the second half of the book first: his interview with Dr. Fred Bisci. Dr. Bisci has been a raw foodist for 40 years and has seen a lot of failures. Basically this book is teaching people how to succeed if they have a desire to eat living foods. One of the main points of their teachings is that once you have improved your life by getting rid of a food that is destructive, you will make yourself very ill by going back to the offending food. This applies whether one is doing South Beach or Weightwatchers or Living Foods. It explains why people gain all their weight back and more when they quit a diet regime.

Well, I guess that wasn't too bad for someone who didn't have anything to say!

Raw Fooders go Mainstream

2008-07-08T10:24:00.003-04:00

Yesterday on the Rachel Ray TV show she had a little video segment on 2 entertainers, Jason Mraz and Justin Kredible, who do a Music, Magic, and Make Peace Tour which includes magic tricks. The thing that I found interesting about it was that they travel with their entourage of 11 men on a bus to travel from place to place which uses bio diesel resulting in a very green footprint. They also make all their own meals on the bus with their own raw chef who travels with them. The video shows him making raw burritos and some kind of green smoothie. Here's the link to her show where the video is available:

http://www.rachaelrayshow.com/show/segments/view/magic-and-music-justin-and-jason/#

I find it fascinating when raw fooders go mainstream. I guess I still consider it a subculture, but there really are a LOT of people taking this path. I can't help but wonder where it will end up. I am so impressed by the number of young people who have the wisdom to do this. They are not motivated by disease, but by the good sense that it makes to go raw. Because they are young, they don't have the years and years and years of crap to get rid of (excuse the pun) either. I would like to believe that they can make a difference in the years to come because I would hope that they will make the right decisions in their life as the truth of all things will "resonate" with them, not just the truth in food decisions. Time will tell, I suppose. I wonder if this movement is a part of our society moving towards the second coming.

A day of firsts

2008-07-07T11:49:00.001-04:00

Today has started out with a few firsts which bare advertising to the world. We finished up our watermelon from last week that weighed 30 pounds, so Roger picked the next one that was ready. It weighed 35 pounds! Amazing. We had to divide it in half to fit it into the fridge.

Then, after I finished 45 minutes of weeding, I weighed, and there was a 0 after the 2. I realize this still sounds horrendous to all the skinnies out there, but for me, it was truly momentous. I cannot remember the last time my weight was under 210 pounds. While I still have a ways to go, I am beginning to comprehend in my head that it is possible. It is a lot more logical for me to think of losing the fat when I realize it is the result of a toxic overload. As the toxins stop being taken in, the body is able to release those that have been stored. I think the world view of fat is that it is a result of fat being eaten whose excess is stored. We don't store excess protein as protein nor excess carbs as carbs. All excesses are toxins and the body struggles to get rid of them. As we reduce the number of ways that is possible, or when the volume of toxins is more than the body can handle in one "dumping", the body shelves them until we give it a chance to eliminate them. Every once in a while the body will do some major housecleaning, and we call this "the flu" or a cold. Of course, serious overloads result in more serious disease as organs such as the pancreas and adrenals (diabetes) are affected, heart disease, cancer. These are the results when there are no more shelves.

I'm sure I'm oversimplifying here, but it helps me to envision it this way, and so I am able to meditate about releasing toxins and toxic overloads in the form of fat, and letting go of them. I'm sure that as long as I have had them, my body has adjusted to them in a way. It's not sure if it is safe to let them go. I think meditating has helped me to convince it to do so (as silly as that may sound). I tend to be a pretty unrelaxed person, so this helps me in other ways as well. It gives me a wonderful healing feeling.

The Garden Bounty ... not just for breakfast anymore

2008-07-05T21:28:00.004-04:00

Today I'm really grateful for my garden. We are in the process of finishing up our first ever watermelon. I've been trying every year to grow them, but we plant too late, or we let the weeds overtake the garden, or something. Anyway, this year we were persistent, and it is paying off.

This is interesting too because this year fresh produce prices have skyrocketed. In today's economy what would have cost a couple of bucks last year is at least $5.00 this year. So, I figure we're pulling a good fiver out of the garden each day. While it is not a majority of what we eat (which is my goal), it is a substantial savings each month.

My thoughts when I said how grateful I was for the garden were not the savings nor the delicious produce being plucked daily. I was thinking of the other things the garden provides for me that make it easily worth my time.

Each morning I try to spend between 20 minutes and an hour working in the garden. I would go for an hour each day, but sometimes the day's activities do no allow this luxury if we have to work out of town for instance. I figure this is providing me with 3 things: 1) several minutes of sunshine each day; 2) at least some exercise; and 3) much needed quiet time without a phone or other electronic noise.

Many health enthusiasts have written of the value of the sun in our lives each day. We forget how important it is especially in this day and age when the sun is getting such a bad rap. This one activity alone has given me a lot of good benefits recently. Whenever I am in a funk, being in the sunshine can help pull me out of it.

I'm not sure how much exercise I am getting in the garden, and I'm sure I need to add more and different kinds, but for a person as sedentary as I am, those few minutes of weed pulling and raking and planting and digging is very beneficial. I promise to work some other exercise into my life.

I long for the simpler days when exercise was a part of life instead of something we have to fit into our routine. I would love to ride a bike, but from where I live, that would be not possible. (I'm still trying to figure out a way to make it work.)

The quiet time is very important. It is the time I reflect on all the things that have been bothering me, and I try to put them in the proper perspective. It doesn't take a lot of mental energy to pull weeds, so I can divert that to introspection.

I just thought of another thing that gardening gives me. I love the connection it gives me to the earth. I've started wearing gloves to protect my hands, but I love how it feels to run my hands through the soil. I love how it feels to pull the weeds up from the soil, how it feels like the soil is hanging on to them and doesn't want to let them go. I love the energy that is in the soil and in the plants emerging from it. I feel that the soil is as living an organism as the plants the grow from it and the animals that depend on the ecosystem provided by the soil.

Whenever I eat the produce grown in my garden, I feel like I take some of that energy into me. It is a transference of power. I like how that feels.

I have really been enjoying my raw foods lately, but tonight I had to go to a chicken place to buy food for one of my grandchildren. The addiction started working on me, and I wanted to eat some of the food produced there. I had all my tools in my head, so I was able to withstand it, but I was surprised how strong the urge was. Then I remembered how the ice tea commercials all still becken me even though I haven't drunk tea in 32 years. I don't think addictions ever go away. I think I am able to remember how crummy it makes me feel and how destructive a behavior it is. Still, I am always surprised by the intensity of the urge.

I heard an interview last week with Matt Monarch which talked about how much worse we feel returning to bad eating habits when we've been giving our bodies truly living food. He said we feel far worse when we go back than we did before we started as our bodies have given away their defenses since they are no longer needed. I think that is a very true principle.

There is so much different information out there on health and nutrition, I have been thinking a lot about correct principles. There are correct principles in all aspects of life, and the Holy Ghost will witness of all truthfulness. We truly do not know where to turn without it. Raw foodists use the term "resonate". They say if something resonates with you then you should integrate it into your life. Surely this resonating is His way of witnessing that we have hit upon a correct principle. So many concepts out there are theories.

Time for Reflexion

2008-07-02T08:53:00.004-04:00

On June 30, 2008, Brandon Barker was killed in a car crash in Pomona Park, Florida. He was born 31 May 1985 and graduated from our school on 28 April 2004. He was a memorable young man, and this is a great loss.

When I visited with his family yesterday, they said a few things that surprised me. They said they talked about me alot regarding how persistent I was in encouraging Brandon to get his high school diploma. He tried to quit more than once, but I would not let him give up. They said he called me "a hard ass", but he was glad I was.

I had never thought of myself that way. As they were telling me, I found myself saying, "Well, fat lot of good that high school diploma is doing him now. I should have just let him go have a good time." I guess I was thinking that if I knew he would die so young, I would let him "enjoy" what time he had left.

This morning as I worked in the garden, I was thinking about this again (the HA thing really haunts me), and I remembered that now that he has left this earth, his knowledge and intelligence is all he takes with him. Maybe he really is grateful I kept after him, more now than ever.

How important is a high school diploma? Certainly the piece of paper is worthless, especially in light of a shortened life. I believe there are several aspects of its attainment that are valuable:

1. Goal setting. If one sets a goal to obtain a high school diploma and enacts the plan to do so, one has learned a valuable skill that will help him / her throughout their lives. In a homeschool setting, this is even more true as there is not the support to help the student to do this. In the government schools, the students are pushed through. Graduating is simply a case of sticking around long enough, showing up most days, and completing endless assignments. This is not to say this is not an accomplishment, but I think that homeschooled students have an extra dimension on this as they must actually figure out how to budget their time in order to do attain their goal.

2. Time management. When a homeschooled student receives a high school diploma, one has to hope they have learned to budget their time. I find that most students who drop out do so because they cannot accomplish this. Their parents find it too much of a hassle to keep pushing them.

3. Self motivation. The successful homeschool graduate has learned how to motivate him or herself. They will not succeed without this important asset.

I met with a graduate yesterday who has been accepted to FloArts and received a Presidential scholarship. She showed me the portfolio she had used for admission. (To be accepted into FloArts, you must audition or have a portfolio. Your admission is based on whether the college finds your work promising.) One of the things we discussed was how motivated she was regarding her passion, and how hard it was for her to be motivated when she was not interested in something. This is true for education as it is sometimes hard for students to be passionate about the 3 R's. Until it applies to some kind of life work, there is no passion.

4. Vision. This is where having a vision of where education can take you comes in. Without a vision, nothing makes sense and all seems worthless. As one reads literature, sees the mathematical qualities of the universe, understands historical events, and sees how great minds have created masterpieces, one cannot help but know that we are only a very small part of something bigger than ourselves.

5. Thinking. I would like to think that developing thought processes is the most important aspect of education. Certainly all students do not do this, but for one to consider their education to be a success, this should be an integral component.

6. Communication. A well-educated person should be able to communicate effectively and intelligently with others especially regarding those topics of personal interest and importance. While a high school diploma does not guarantee this (obviously), if a student takes their language arts classes with the understanding that it will help them communicate better, they will be better able to share their thoughts and opinions more effectively with others.

Once I asked a missionary who was serving in Orlando how the work there compared to the work here in Putnam County where I live. He answered that it went much better in Orlando as there was a better educated population there. I have always remembered that as it helped me realize that without an education, people's thought processes are not always rational. Ignorance is very confining. One is restricted to what is going on in their own mind instead of being able to comprehend things going on around them. I have been very aware lately of how much the universe really does have to offer, and as I am more open to it, more is being made available to me. Without the ability to logic and reason, much of it would be lost to my mind.

Which brings me back to the raw diet. It really was a personal triumph when I posted recently about Darius' sacrifice not being in vain. I have moved ahead tremendously since that time. Passions have returned that I thought were lost forever. I will try to blog more as these things are happening, but honestly, there is so much, I can't keep up with it all.

I have made great progress in the 12 steps. When I did this the first time many years ago, I did so very compulsively. This time, it is more implemented and integrated into my daily life and prayers. I am also trying to do some actualizing that is helping me a lot. I have been working in the garden every day even if for a short time, and I think this helps me get more sunshine which I believe is important.

I really cannot say how important personal revelation is in my life. I haven't had tons of great moments, but I have many, many small moments. The few great moments have truly changed my life, and sometimes, they have even helped others. Right now, I am so grateful to be alive and able to progress in this way.

Addictions

2008-06-24T21:07:00.006-04:00

It seems like addictions have been on my mind a lot lately, so I decided that if I wrote about it, some of it might make sense and help me to move on.

Wikipedia defines addiction thusly:

Addiction is a state in which the body relies on a substance for normal functioning. When this substance is removed, it can cause withdrawal. It [the term "addiction"] was first used in 1906, in reference to opium (there is an isolated instance from 1779, with ref. to tobacco). The first use of the adjective addict (with the meaning of "delivered, devoted") was in 1529 and comes from Latin addictus, pp. of addicere ("deliver, yield, devote," from ad-, "to" + dicere, "say, declare").

Addiction is a term used to describe a devotion, attachment, dedication, inclination, etc. Nowadays, however, the term addiction is used to describe a recurring compulsion by an individual to engage in some specific activity, despite harmful consequences to the individual's health, mental state or social life. The term is often reserved for drug addictions but it is sometimes applied to other compulsions, such as problem gambling, and compulsive overeating. Factors that have been suggested as causes of addiction include genetic, biological/pharmacological and social factors.

Probably the greatest work ever done on addictions has been through Alcoholics Anonymous. I don't think anyone has ever improved on their work, and I don't hope to do so. I think the only way this organization fails is in their name: if they had called it Addictions Anonymous, it might have better served the sick society that needs them so badly. Of course, when Bill W. started AA, he was trying to overcome an alcohol addiction, and I'm sure he did not know at the time that all addictions have similar characteristics.

Shockingly, we live in a society saturated with addictions: drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, caffeine, nicotine, and unhealthy foods. Some have even suggested that television and video games have addictive qualities (the Plug-In Drug). Some people get obsessed with spending money to the point that debt is unavoidable and cannot be overcome.

I often wonder where this behavior began. There are stories in the old testament indicating addictive substances caused errant behavior, so apparently it has been around a long time. I wonder if addictive substances aren't part of the adversary's plan of destruction.

One of the primary components of addiction is denial that there is an addiction. This is certainly true of food. Someone told me the other day that she didn't think her food addiction was as bad as alcoholism as it didn't hurt anyone the way that alcohol abuse does. I don't agree with this. In my long lifetime of having food addictions and living with others who do, I think food addicts are every bit as destructive of themselves and others as alcoholics and drug addicts. I was going to say that perhaps the harder stuff does the job faster, but I think food addiction is more destructive in a subtle way. The end result is still the same: death (both spiritual and physical), but it is a more lingering and painful death. It usually begins killing us when we are children and drags it out until our bodies can no longer deal with the abuse, usually when we are older, but we are seeing more and more examples of humans who are being taken at a younger age.

I think the most amazing thing about any addiction is how much we lie to ourselves while consumed with the drugs of choice. First we do not believe we are addicted in any way even though we may admit we have a "little" problem controlling the substance. Secondly, we think we can stop it at any time. Thirdly, we don't think we are affecting others with our behavior. We don't think others know what we are doing; we are often secretive. We go to great extremes to be sure others don't know what we are doing.

The other thing that is amazing to me is how we continue to destroy ourselves even after we have the information at our disposal that we are killing ourselves. Even though the effects of our drug of choice are more and more unpleasant, we continue to use them. The few times we get on the wagon, we talk of how good we feel, yet fall off the wagon when the addiction rears its ugly head the next time.

What is the solution? Bill W. said it best. Many years ago I went through the AA program, and I know it works, but like everything else, one must stay on top of it. Here are the 12 steps of their program. I have reworded them to apply to all addictions.

The Twelve Steps of Addictions Anonymous

http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/en_services_for_members.cfm?PageID=98&SubPage=117

1. We admit we are powerless over our addiction—that our lives have become unmanageable.

2. Come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity.

3. Make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him.

4. Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admit to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Are entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Make a list of all persons we have harmed, and become willing to make amends to them all.

9. Make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong promptly admit it.

11. Seek through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understand Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we try to carry this message to other addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

I think the saddest thing is that most people do not recognize that these steps can help them. They do not see that their disease is serious enough for these steps. Even other addicts do not see it. I used to attend AA and NA meetings, and when the members found out I was there for food addictions, they thought it was ridiculous. Of course, they thought, their disease was much more serious and of greater consequence than mine. It is easy to think that it is, and that is part of the lie.

It is pride that holds us back from recognizing it for what it is.

I am grateful for the journey that I am on. Although painful at times, I feel as though I am progressing towards my eternal goals.

Spirals

2008-06-13T11:16:00.004-04:00

I'm not sure what's going on with these wide gaps between the paragraphs. Some html mumbo-jumbo, I'm sure.

I feel as though the cathartic emotional outbursts this week have been very helpful. I would like to think it was even a turning point for me.

I had to laugh as I type as I am thinking of a piece I heard Ellen Degeneres did on journaling. She said it was amazing how we record things when we think we have it all figured out. Of course, when we read it back months or years later, we realize that we had no clue at the time even though we think we had it all solved.

So maybe turning points are relative. We make little progresses that seem large at the time, but in relation to the whole process they are minor angle changes. Kind of like how a circle is made of thousands of straight lines. Actually I just drew one, and it turns out to be more of a spiral due to the impreciseness of my angles. This is definately how life is. Our angles of renewal are rarely precisely the same each time. Sometimes there are huge angles, and other times just little adjustments. Oh, but wouldn't Professor Johanson be proud!? (He was always making fun of my geometry skills.)

Geri, a good friend from Utah, is here visiting her sister this month, and we are trying to spend a little time together. Her life is crazy right now, and it is interesting that I had contact with her AFTER my little episode when I am more together. I think that I can be a strength to her. We have been through a lot of health teachings together, but she, like me, has failed in them most of the time. She has finally determined that there are 2 reasons for this which is she is working to resolve. First, she is doing the bioidentical hormone treatment thing that Suzanne Somers has made popular. We heard a little about this at Hippocrates as well. Secondly, she is getting some serious counseling to get at the root of why she is so self-destructive. I'm sure this will be most beneficial.

I have actually been thinking about counseling myself. I have always been opposed to it as I think there should be other ways to accomplish the same thing. I am still not convinced that there isn't. I think counseling is a shortcut to the old-fashioned crash and burn method. I never believe in getting other people to do things for me that I should be doing for myself. The exception to this is when getting someone else to do something will help them more than it does me. I would be hard pressed to think I was helping a psychologist more than myself, so I guess that doesn't fit the paradigm. Guess I'll stick to crash and burn.

The main principle behind that being of course, that one gets tired of getting burned, so one decides to stop crashing. One has to wonder how long it takes to get to that point. And, again, we're back to the spiral...

It will not be in vain.

2008-06-11T11:19:00.008-04:00

Having had a rough day yesterday required some analysis on my part to figure it all out. It was an amazingly emotional time, and I cried almost all day long. Fortunately, Roger was working in Palatka and was not there to witness most of it. We cried together over a couple of things after he got home, but he has no idea what I had been through during the day.

In the morning I had wanted to watch some of the baseball 2008 draft while I enjoyed my morning watermelon. When the first young man was drafted, I began crying while thinking of his family and how much this might mean to all of them.

When I went back to work after that, I plugged my Zune in, and I have a playlist called "working" that has all my favorites in it. I don't have to stop and program music as I like all the songs in there. Early on, "Earth Angel" came on, and the waterworks began anew. This was getting ridiculous! (If you're guessing that I'm not a particularly sentimental person, you are correct.) This particular song was the one I used to use as my ringtone for Bonnie, and I can never hear it without thinking of her. (The lesson here is to never use one of your favorite songs as a ringtone for someone who may walk out of your life.)

I've heard this song several times since she left, and I have always felt a lot of emotion, but this time it was more extreme than before. I started thinking about why that was, and I realized it was because I was feeling the loss of her in my life for the first time. Prior to this, I had felt a lot of emotions including anger, frustration, and sadness, but never loss. This time I realized I had truly lost someone in my life that I loved. I guess I had not wanted to acknowledge this before. So there you go.

Then, once I realized this, I started thinking about other losses, including Jac. While she is not out of my life physically, certainly emotionally she is. Again, I felt the same sense of loss. This is heightened by the sense of loss I have for Orion and Brooklyn too as they cannot be as large a part of my life with her gone.

I had a lot of work to do, thank goodness, and I tried not to think about it too much, but it was very hard to do.

After I finished working, I decided to catch up on some DVR'd material (no more draft right now, thanks), and turned on the Oprah show. There was my old friend Kris Carr (of course, she doesn't know we are old friends) who I have read about quite a bit since Darius started his cancer ordeal. She is a former model / actress who found out after she'd made it big in a superbowl Bud commercial that she had terminal stage 4 liver cancer. She has written a book called Crazy, Sexy Cancer Tips that we read while we were at Hippocrates. I had never seen her on TV, so I was delighted to see that she was on. Dr. Oz visited her at home where she made him a green drink on air along with a great salad. She explained how these things were part of her recovery and acceptance of her illness and how she felt better than she had before she got sick. They showed a few other alternatives to medicine she had chosen including yoga and meditation. She insisted that instead of the cancer killing her, it had helped her live. (For example, she was previously afraid of heights, and they showed a clip of her learning to fly on the trapeze.)

It was a wonderful interview, but, you guessed it, I cried all the way through it. As if that was not enough, there was another man on the show, Randy Pausch, who has 3 children under the age of 5 who has terminal pancreatic cancer. He has been given less than 6 months to live. He was very inspirational. He has written a book called The Last Lecture. (He was a professor at Carnegie-Mellon.) He has not chosen any alternative health practices, so it was a pretty dramatic contrast. I think everyone in the audience was crying as he finished thinking of him leaving his beautiful young family behind.

When Roger came home, I thought he might want to see Kris, so I played it again for him. Of course, we cried together. One of the questions Dr. Oz asked her was how was she going to feel if she found out this was all not working and that she was going to die anyway. This was hard for me because I fear that all the time in relation to Darius' healing. Of course, I never acknowlege it, especially to him, but Kris gave a wonderful response I will try to remember. She said her life was far better now than it ever was before the cancer, so she had no regrets. She was doing what she wanted to do with her life, she happily married, and she loved her family and had a good relationship with all of them. She said that we would all die eventually anyway, so while it was harder to think of dying earlier than later, as long as one lives while he / she is alive, one need not have any regrets.

I hope that Darius' life is better now and that he feels that the cancer has given him an opportunity to live and to analyze his relationship to others in his life and to his God. I think that this is the case. If that is true AND he is also healed from that cancer, he has received a double blessing.

I ended the day with the realization that his disease has given all of us a second chance. Roger and I, and I think Alicia too, were struggling to overcome some health challenges when Darius got sick. With his recovery, we have all found new life. What a blessing it can prove to be to all of us. Of course, there are family members and friends who are opposed to what he is doing and do not think it will work. This is unfortunate because what he is doing will address their health and mental health concerns as well. Whether or not it heals Darius, he will have been the vehicle for everyone with whom he has contact to get a new lease on life (whether they appreciate it or take advantage of it or not). My closing thoughts for the day: As for me and my house, his struggle will not be in vain. I will use the knowledge and experiences he has given me to make a difference in my life. I hope that I can share this with others in my sphere of influence as well, so that his struggle will be even more long-reaching.

As I was thinking of this today, I was thinking of the Savior's Atonement and the donut story shared in a seminary class somewhere. The student could eat the donut if one member of the class did a certain number of push-ups. By the time he had done several hundred push-ups, the latter part of the class didn't want him to have to do any more push-ups for them, so they told the teacher they didn't want a donut. The teacher answered that was fine, but the push-ups had to be done anyway. They could accept the donut or not.

The Saviour has died for all of our sins whether we choose to partake or not. Darius has gone through this horrendous ordeal whether any of us choose to learn anything from it or not. What a horrible waste it is when we choose not to benefit from the suffering of others. It is one thing not to listen to well-intentioned advice, but it is quite another to not accept the offerings of a sacrifice. I don't think Darius intended to sacrifice so that so many could benefit, but since he did, who are we to not pay attention? And who knows what kinds of conversations were had before he came to earth? Perhaps he did agree to have a terminal illness so that people could see the deceptions that were being taught on the earth.

Colin Campbell wrote a book (China Study) trying to expose these deceptions, and many do not want to listen; many do. Then there is Kris Carr telling us there might be a better way. There are many more too numerous to name. How many have to go through this before we will listen?

I have heard these teachings for many years, but not until my son went through his experience was it a life-changing experience for me. It had to touch me in a personal way before I would make the necessary changes. I suppose the Atonement is that way too: until it is personal, no one will listen. You have my attention: I'm listening.

Brooklyn Comes to Florida

2008-05-31T15:58:00.005-04:00

I finally figured out how to get pictures from my phone to a computer file so that I could put them in my blog! I don't think the way I did it is the easiest, but at least it worked. This is a photo Orion sent me on my phone of their new baby daughter, Brooklyn. She was born on Wednesday, May 28, 2008 about 1:00 p.m. She weighed in at 9 lb. 3 oz., and she was 20 inches long. (I think all of that is correct. I didn't write it down, so I hope I didn't mess it up. I can always edit later, right?)

We got to see her the next day, and she is still adapting to her strange new environment. Whenever I see a new baby, all I can think about is how terrified I was everytime I took one of my new babies home, and how frightened I was. The memory of the terror has never gone away. Of course, I relaxed after I was into it a couple of days, but I can never forget the fear. It is interesting because now I am totally relaxed around babies when they are not mine. It was definately the fear of the responsibility I felt at having the stewardship over this new spirit. I was horrified that I would screw it up. Still am.

Welcome, Brooklyn. May you have a wonderful life full of the experiences that you will need to return to your Heavenly Home. I hope and pray I can at least watch from the sidelines, and that I will always do those things would edify your life in the ways I am able. I am not feeling particularly capable right now in that capacity. The time we are spending with our other grandchildren has not been very rewarding. They are not very happy spending time with us. I guess we are not willing to sacrifice enough. Jac told me one of the last times I talked with her that I was not a very good grandmother as I did not focus enough on the grandchildren. Maybe she was right.

Right now, running away looks like a brilliant solution. There were some folks we met when we were working at the temple who had an RV. They just drove from temple to temple serving 6 months at a time at different temples. It seemed so strange at the time, but right now it is very appealing. I think it is the "having your problems in your face all the time" that makes them difficult. The problems don't go away, but they are not nearly so pressing if you don't have to deal with them constantly.

I was thinking about this whole blog thing after Darius texted yesterday that he was worried about me based on the previous blog entry. It is so public. I journaled for many years, and that was very private. I think this is more healing if I force myself to be honest. Of course, the temptation is there to not be honest, but honesty is so difficult to determine anyway. Even when journaling, the fear is always there that your progenitures might read this someday, and oh my, what will they think???? Not ever being one to care much what others think, I have always worried about what my children would think. I always wanted to be a good example to them and worried that some of my mistakes would be taken as liberties that they could take that would render them as messed up as I was. All a generation can hope for is that the next one will be an improvement. While that wouldn't be that difficult to come up with in our case, one has to wonder what kind of legacy they will leave their children and their children's children. I am starting to see a lot of my faults in a different light, and where I once had hope, I am beginning to lose it. I don't have a whole lot of time to make the changes I had hoped would come by now. I feel like I need some time to think and ponder where my life is going.