I'm a little late as usual, but I wanted to post my yearly remembrances for Darius' birthday. Whenever one of the children has a birthday, for some reason it brings a lot of things to my mind about our times together. It is a good time for me to write them down as they won't always be in my mind.
This birthday was a special one for us as we were told in August of 2007 that he only had about 18 months to live. If that had been the case, we would be celebrating his memory this birthday, and it would be a sad day for all of us. We are so thankful to our Heavenly Father for the blessing that he was allowed to stay with us for a longer season. Through priesthood blessings and the inspiration to change our eating habits and lifestyle, we have hope that he will have a long and happy life.
I can still see him lying on the floor at the foot of our stairs in our apartment in Provo, Utah. We were living in a student apartment a few miles from BYU where Roger was pursuing his master's degree. He wasn't home much due to classes and a full-time job; Dorian was playing little league baseball all summer, and it was a hot one. Pioneer Day is the July 24, and I can remember how much I hoped this baby would be born soon. Roger had lost the job that had provided insurance, but the expiration date wasn't until 7/31/81. The problem was that Darius' due date was not until the middle of August sometime. We were a little stressed to say the least.
Roger decided to fast and pray that we might be able to pay for this baby somehow. It was Sunday, July 26th. I stayed up late that night sewing baby outfits. Suddenly, my water broke. I was never more surprised in my life. Neither of us expected Roger's prayer to be answered in that way.
Off we went to the hospital, and Darius was born a few hours later: 27 July 1981. He was truly a miracle baby since we had never anticipated being able to have any more children.
As I would look at him sleeping, I was very aware of what a miracle he was and that all children are. Having that baby taught me a lot about the miracle of childbirth. I was very grateful to have been given the gospel so that I could understand this better and appreciate it more. In fact, Darius got his name from the king in the Old Testament who was converted to the gospel by Daniel. He was our testimony of our gratitude for our conversion.
Dorian had mixed feelings about his new little brother. He was almost 8 years old and was pretty used to having things his way. He had been excited about a sibling, especially a brother, for now he'd have someone to play ball with. One of my funniest memories was once when he propped Darius up in an overstuffed easy chair when he was about 3 months old. Then he started tossing a nerf football to him with the hopes he would catch it and return it. It was hilarious. Of course, Dorian was a little frustrated when he realized this wasn't going to happen for awhile.
Darius went through some rough times during his terrible twos. He was my only child that did. He would be so fussy about getting his own way. What strikes me as interesting about this is that he never really acted like that later as he got older. He was pretty mellow about going with the flow.
Some of my fondest memories of the children revolve around the animals they kept for 4-H. Darius and Orion would play for hours with the chilckens, the rabbits, and the goats. They were required to take care of their animals before they could have their breakfast, and there were many mornings when they did not come in until after lunch time. If there was a game imaginable to be played with the animals, they thought of it. Never have two children enjoyed their animals more. Good times, good times.
As Darius grew up, he became interested in the electric guitar. He let his hair grow out, and he and his friend, Stephen, started a band. I don't think they ever got too many gigs, but they sure enjoyed their practice time together. In fact, I broke my ankle once during a school visit when I fell through a porch during a student visit. I called him to drive me home as I was in too much pain to drive myself. He was very perturbed to have his practice time interrupted!
The dating years were rocky ones as the girls at church wouldn't date him because of his long hair. He looked a little wild to them I guess. He was pretty shy, and he didn't get too serious about dating until after his mission. He served for 2 years in the Torreon Mexico mission, and he had a wonderful time. He thought maybe he might want a Latina para su esposa, but then he met Alicia, and it was love at first sight. I think they are very happy together. They are now raising Angelina, Darius' niece. No other little Dariuses or Alicias yet.
Of course, when Darius was diagnosed with a stage 4 brain tumor (16 August 2007), we all went through some rough times. We are now able to say that we are grateful for that time as we all learned so much. We certainly didn't think it was something we would be saying that at any future time.
It is interesting how adversity affects us. We would never encourage it, and we even pray that we will be spared it. Yet, it seems, all of our paths to growth are paved with it.
Somewhere along the way while Darius and Alicia were adjusting to their new lifestyle, we decided we would all like to live together. We put off doing this even though we felt prompted to implement it. Then Dorian and his wife found they were unable to care for their children, and we took over the responsibility of Wyatt and Angelina: Wyatt to us, and Angelina to Darius and Alicia. Then, what had seemed a luxury (moving in together) became more of a necessity as we struggled to assume our new parenting roles. We still wallow through the mire of making the right decisions for the children and knowing how to nurture them correctly, but our knowledge that we are doing the right thing helps us get through it.
For Darius' birthday this year, we had a lot to celebrate, and a lot to hope for as well. We are grateful that he was here, and grateful too that the children are back in our lives after spending several months away. Things are not perfect; perhaps that would be an unrealistic expectation while we live in this world. What we can do is think about how much we do have to be grateful and relish it. Thanks, Darius, for choosing to come to our family and bear our imperfections.
