Whenever one of my children's birthdays roll around, it is hard for me to think about anything except their birth and the consequent days, weeks, months, and years. It is amazing the things that come to mind. Often it is things I haven't remembered for years.
Today is Orion's (my youngest son's) 26th birthday. It really seems too incredible that he could be that age and that I could be his mother. I became pregnant with him when Darius was only 9 months old. I did not know I was pregnant for awhile; I just thought I had some major issues with the flu. I really didn't think I would get pregnant that easily while I was still nursing Darius. Finally, about 4 months into it, I decided to ask the doctor if it could be another baby. Obviously, it was, and we were off to the races again.
I decided to keep nursing Darius throughout his pregnancy against the advice of most people. I felt it was too early to wean Darius as I had hoped to nurse him a couple of years. So we did the best we could. Orion was born in a birthing center with a midwife who was under the supervision of Dr. Lewis. He was well-known for his work with people who wanted to have more natural childbirths.
My other two babies had been born without too many complications, but this one presented a few more trials. First he presented face first which means that, well, let's just say it was a lot more difficult. I remember the midwife almost had a stroke when she saw that he was coming out that way. She yelled, "Why didn't you tell me it was hurting that much?" I just knew it was hurting; it didn't occur to me that there might be a reason. Anyway, he was born under a little stress because of that, and they were concerned because he didn't get his color right away. I guess it could have gone another way, but Orion was intended to live out his life. As easy as it would have been for him to slip back through the veil, he was determined to stick it out apparently.
Not only was he a little touch and go for a while, so was I. I started hemoraging (I don't know how to spell that, and I'm too lazy to look it up but not too lazy to type this explanation...) and passed out.
Somehow we survived all of that. Orion weighed in at 9 lb. 9 oz, and he was 23 inches tall. No wonder I felt like I was going to explode! I am way too short wasted for all these tall babies! We went home as soon as we were allowed to, and started enjoying the ride.
Orion was a good baby except that he wanted to eat every hour on the hour. He and Darius got along very well; Darius was at his birth, and I've wondered if they bonded then. At the time, Darius didn't seem all that impressed with this new little creature, but as the years went by, they were very close. As a matter of fact, I credit Orion with Darius' ability to ever read. He showed no interest in it until Orion started reading. Thank goodness for Orion, right?
One of the things I remembered this week that I hadn't thought about for awhile is how we used to read the Book of Mormon mastery scriptures everyday. Dorian was going to seminary, I think, so I was aware of the mastery scriptures, and I thought it would be good for the little boys to memorize them as Dorian was learning them. The one that I thought of this week was Moroni 10:4 - 5 where we are promised we can know the truth of all things by the power of the Holy Ghost. Orion loved He-man, a cartoon popular at the time. One of the things He-man would always say was "By the power of grayskull" and then he would perform some tremendous feat. The boys compared He-man and the power of grayskull to the power the Holy Ghost had to tell them things. It was quite comical, but it worked. They seemed to understand the concept.
Another thing I thought of this week was the time Orion was bitten by a dog while we were delivering welfare stuff to a family in our ward. I had the assignment while the RS president was out of town. We had been to this family's house many times, and the dogs seemed to know us, but there was something different this time. Orion was on the back of the truck wearing his red sweatpants. Maybe it was the red that got the dog fired up like they do the bulls with the bull fighters. Anyway, it came up behind the truck as we were pulling in, and took a bite out of him. I think he had on his usual two pairs of sweats (he got cold very easily), so the dog didn't do any damage, but it sure shook up the both of us. Again, quite comical in retrospect!
Orion's nickname was "possum". He looked like a marsupial baby as he was always connected to me in some way. It never really bothered me. He slept with us for a number of years until he was almost 4, and I can still remember how he felt snuggled into the small of my back. (Before you get all high and mighty and judge me for having my kids with me in our bed, please read the book Family Bed. I still think it is a wonderful way to rear children. I do not regret it for a moment.)
Even after the baby and toddler years, we were always close. While my other children lived their own lives, he always was a part of mine for some reason. It really seemed improbable that he would ever separate himself from us. He told us many times that if he ever did move out, he was going to live next door. We didn't hold out much hope of that, but we thought he would always be in our lives. Needless to say,it hasn't worked out that way, and I'm not sure how we're supposed to feel about that.
I understand how men are supposed to be united with their wife. I understand about apron strings being cut. I tried to rear all my children to be independent with varying degrees of success. I guess I didn't expect to be cut off completely from contact with them. Maybe that is the way it is supposed to be, but I don't think so. That is certainly not the pattern that is seen in the scriptures. I guess the hardest part is not understanding why there is such a discrepancy. If we had not been close in his earlier years, it would be easier to comprehend.
So, my memories this week of our wonderful times together have been muddled with my sorrow over a lost friend. Of all my children, he was the one that understood my trials and my troubles. He comforted me while the others didn't even know there were challenges. He talked through problems and difficulties. When he left, I lost my closest ally, and it has been most difficult.
This is not to say that Roger, my husband, is not my best friend. He is. But most women have a confidant besides their husband, and Orion was mine. He understood how I felt more than even Roger did even though he (Orion) was a child. I think a lot of that was because the gospel always came easier to him than it did anyone else I ever knew so that he had a more mature outlook on the things about which we talked. I have always worked through my problems from a gospel angle, so Orion's perspective matched this better than most people's.
I guess in looking back, maybe I should never have gotten that comfortable with him. Maybe I should have tried to keep my distance knowing that he would grow up and move away from us emotionally. I guess it is easy to see these things in hindsight.
Another memory we had of him this week was the time we were in a car accident when he was on his way to a performance for Showtime to which I didn't want him to go. He spent many months recuperating from that, and he missed a lot of activities. It happened on the day he graduated from high school. Both of us almost missed that one!
One summer prior to this, I broke my ankle. He stayed home from summer camp to stay with me so that Roger could work. The other boys, of course, went to their activities. That was a tremendous sacrifice for him, and I've always been grateful to him. (In contrast, one time when I broke my ankle I asked Darius to come drive me home as I couldn't drive right after the accident, and he said he couldn't because he was going to his friend's house! ARRRGH.) It's odd isn't it? Now Darius is the attentive one.
I look back over our years with Orion with nothing but good memories. He and Darius both provided us with a glimpse of heaven. We are so grateful we were able to have more children after our "stupid years". I hope he has a wonderful 27th year (starting tomorrow) and that he'll have at least a hundred more. He is so blessed to be the father of a wonderful baby girl this year, so he will always remember this year as a special one. Happy Birthday, Orion!
